


A Million Miles to Go

by madamehomesecretary



Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Julia Montague Lives, series continuation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2019-11-27 09:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 48,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18192917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamehomesecretary/pseuds/madamehomesecretary
Summary: Julia Montague survived the blast at St. Matthews College and is now living her new secret life hiding in Tuscany. Can she and David find their way back to one another?





	1. Tuscany

**Author's Note:**

> Set in Tuscany, this first chapter takes place about three months after the bombing at St. Matthews. Julia is okay. David is not. 
> 
> A HUGE thank you to my girls Linn and Victoria for their help with this beast of a story that has wrecked us all. You're the best.

****A train whistle echoed in the distance as another Florence-bound train set off on its journey, carrying passengers toward the unknown. The sun shone brightly in the sky overhead, casting a sort of golden light over the hills and valleys of Tenuta Torciano. A few birds chirped a cheerful melody as they flew in circles overhead, scavenging for hidden treasures that had fallen off the grapevines. It was a beautiful day in Tuscany, and yet…

The beauty seemed to go unnoticed by a slender brunette sitting on a terrace overlooking the fields below her. In fact, the beautiful winter day was a direct juxtaposition of how Britain’s former Home Secretary Julia Montague currently felt. Pulling her sweater closer around her to ward off the chill, she gazed out over the beautiful landscape of the countryside. She didn’t really mind the chill in the air. In fact, it reminded her she was indeed alive.

Sighing, she picked up her glass of lemon water and took a long sip, savoring the liquid as it slid down her throat. Ever since she had woken up from her medically-induced coma, she could never quite quench her thirst. Her throat felt as dry as sandpaper, no matter how much she had to drink. A residual effect of surgery and the pharmacy of medicines she was currently on, she was told. Getting up slowly, she tested her weight on her right leg before standing to her full height.

Everyday was a battle in terms of her recovery, and she had felt the ups and downs of how physical therapy changed from day to day. No day was like the one before. She knew she was lucky to be alive, but this new life made her wonder why sometimes.

Going into hiding hadn’t necessarily been her decision when she woke up in hospital after the explosion at St. Matthew’s College. In fact, she had had no say in the matter at all. When the doctors brought her out of her coma, she was already in Rome under the care of a team of specialists for all of her injuries. Looking back, the list seemed endless … A broken hip, a punctured lung, some internal bleeding. She was certain the only reason they had worked so hard to save her in the first place was because of her title. The same title that had almost gotten her blown up to begin with.

No one would tell her how long she had been asleep or why she had been relocated but when she saw some old newspaper headlines the next day, she thought she was going to throw up. They were all short and to the point: Home Secretary Julia Montague killed in St. Matthew’s Bombing.

_“Shit,” she muttered under her breath. The nurse taking her vital signs turned to look at her. “Did you say something, signora?” she asked cheerfully, her blonde ponytail bobbing as she returned to checking Julia’s blood pressure. Julia shook her head absentmindedly, turning off the television._

_“No, nothing…” she said softly, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill over. Her life as she knew it was gone. The people that she loved thought she was dead. Well… the person, singular. Julia had never been close to many people in her life. The circle of people she trusted tended to shrink with every passing government scandal. But not him._

_Laying her head down, she closed her eyes, willing herself to fall into a dreamless sleep. Or at least sleep that kept the nightmares at bay. As her eyes slowly fluttered shut, she couldn’t help but see his face._

_“David…” she whispered before she could stop herself._

She later found out through one of her nurses that she had been placed in a two month-long medically induced coma, to allow her body time to heal from the injuries she received as a result of the blast. Two months seemed excessive in her opinion, but she knew better than to question her expansive team of doctors. They only wanted the best for her. Even if they didn’t see eye to eye on what that was. Hesitant to update her on everything that had happened since the explosion, her doctors kept her news intake to a minimum. She needed no additional stress in her life. It was like living in a bubble. A small, boring bubble.

Julia slowly made her way into her cottage. She was finally beginning to feel more confident in her abilities to move like a normal human again, not the Frankenstein monster she had resembled when she woke from her coma.

Entering the kitchen, she stopped upon sight of a milk pitcher filled with fresh lavender buds. It made her smile each time. Whether it was someone’s take on a silly joke or a very strange coincidence, she wasn’t sure. Leaning forward, she sniffed the flowers, letting herself get lost in the scent for a moment. The fragrance reminded her of what felt like another lifetime, then again, technically, it sort of was.

Turning on the antiquated television set, she absentmindedly began to prepare a light lunch. Current technology was not a necessity for whomever had lived in this cottage before she did. She glanced up only for a moment at whatever program was on the BBC. The amount of television watching she did on a regular basis left a lot to be desired, but the background noise tended to help her focus. Ever since her accident, she couldn’t handle the quiet. Her thoughts overwhelmed her.

Returning to chopping the tomatoes in front of her, Julia was only half listening to the television when a BBC News Report interrupted the program.

“This is BBC One. We’re interrupting our program for a BBC News Report,” the voice said as the breaking news logo flashed across the screen. Julia sat down the knife she had been holding and walked toward the television set. You could take the Home Secretary out of her role, but you couldn’t take the sense of responsibility and control out of the woman. At least she couldn’t.

“You’re watching a BBC News Special. The trials of Nadia Ali, Luke Aikens and Lorraine Craddock are set to begin next week in London. You’ll remember that Ali, Aikens and Craddock all played a role in the bombing at St. Matthew’s College that resulted in the death of The Right Honourable Julia Montague in November.”

Julia’s eyes widened as her own image stared back at her from the screen, along with three other headshots. She had read an article one of the nurses had slipped her in the hospital about the convictions, but had no idea things were moving so swiftly.

Sitting down, Julia’s breath caught in her throat as she felt a pain in her hip from moving too quickly. The images on the screen changed to a different scene. One in a park. She recognized that park. It wasn’t far from her flat. She frowned, thinking about it. Her _old_ flat. Julia didn’t even realize she was holding her breath.

“You may recall that shortly after the death of the home secretary, her PPO Police Sergeant David Budd was discovered wearing an explosives vest in a Central London park,” the voiceover said and Julia’s face paled.

Helicopters flew overhead, showing coverage from the park. A man could be seen in the center of the lawn, surrounded by armed police. Then there was audio. It was shoddy at best but Julia knew the voice as soon as she heard it.

*****

_“You’ve got to be straight with us,” Lorraine Craddock told her former police sergeant David Budd over a walkie talkie. When she had arrived at the scene, she had been taken aback by David’s appearance. He had a bruise and severe swelling in his right temple and was bleeding from the left side of his mouth._

_More alarming than that had been the suicide bomber vest that was attached to him. His finger was taped to a DMS device in his hand._

_She had seen David in some precarious situations, but never one as extreme as this. She was torn between the concern she felt for his safety and the anxiety she was feeling as this whole situation began to unravel. It was all coming unglued, and she had no way to stop it._

_As for David Budd, the longer everyone stood around, the more nervous he became. They had made no moves to remove the vest from his body, and his thumb had passed the point of cramping over an hour ago. He couldn’t believe he was standing here, in the middle of a park with an explosive attached to his chest._

_He was taken right back to that fateful night on a London-bound train with Ella and Charlie only a few yards away. The night he met Nadia Ali and kept her from activating her own explosives vest. He had watched his life and the lives of his children flash before his eyes when he opened the bathroom door and found her there, ready to detonate the bomb._

_That was the night his life had changed. If it wasn’t for Nadia, he never would have met Julia. And if he never met Julia, his life would be completely different in so many ways._

_Julia’s face flashed in front of his eyes and David felt a painful ache in his chest. He bit back a sob as he remembered laying next to her under a fort of white sheets at the Blackwood Hotel, an idea he’d had after she asked him about his children._

_The two of them had been up most of the night, making love into the early morning hours. They had been dozing lightly for a few hours when David awoke to Julia staring at him._

_“Tell me more about yourself…” she said softly, her morning voice thick from lack of use._

_David glanced at the clock on the table, knowing soon they would have to leave the sanctuary of the Blackwood Hotel and enter the real world again. The real world where she was Britain’s tough as nails Home Secretary, and he was the PPO assigned to guard her life._

_“You mean to tell me you didn’t read the personnel file on your new PPO?” he teased, his voice cracking slightly. “Tsk tsk, ma’am.”_

_She squinted, giving him a warning look and David chuckled._

_“Police Sergeant. Currently guarding the Home Secretary. Veteran. PPO” he rattled off a list, but then hesitated. “A father to two amazing kids. That’s me… ma’am. David Budd, at your service.”_

_Julia smiled. She had heard him briefly speak about his children. His eyes lit up every time he said their names. She had never asked him about them in detail, but found herself wondering what kind of dad he was to Ella and Charlie. She hesitated, unsure of what was appropriate, but as was the Julia Montague way, decided to go for it anyway._

_“Tell me about them…” she said, softly. “Ella and Charlie…”_

_David was surprised when she asked. While he wasn’t sure what this truly was or what it was becoming, he had never expected the Home Secretary -- Julia -- to ask about his kids. It was a strange sensation, but also sort of endearing. It reminded him of the first time she had asked him about his family -- if he had a wife and children -- when he first began working for her._

_“Charlie is eight,” he said slowly, thinking of the best way to describe his son. “He’s a sensitive lad, wise beyond his years. He loves trains and cars... and playing tricks on his sister.”_

_They both laughed._

_“Ella is ten. She’ll be 11 next month. She’s very smart and looks out for Charlie -- a bit like a second mum, actually. She loves writing, tea parties and making blanket forts.”_

_“Blanket forts?” Julia repeated, arching a brow. David nodded._

_“Aye. I make the best blanket forts in London,” he said proudly, watching as Julia glanced at him skeptically._

_“You doubt me?” he asked, feigning surprise. “You’ll regret that. Just watch.”_

_Reaching for the sheet that was wrapped securely around Julia’s body, he pulled it loose from under her arm as she watched him with a puzzled look. Pulling the sheet over their heads, he tucked the loose edge in at the headboard, making sure it was secure as he scooted closer to her._

_“Ma’am?” he asked trying to remain serious, not hiding the notes of pride and silliness well in his tone._

_Sometime during their conversation, the sun had broken through the early morning fog and the light shone through the sheets covering their heads. Julia couldn’t help but take note of the intimate moment and how stereotypically romantic it was. She ignored his questioning and reached for him, wrapping her leg instinctively around him and running her fingers gently over the scars that marked one side of his body._

_“How long were you in the Army?” she asked, changing the subject._

_And then David was back in the park, guns trained on him and an explosive vest attached to his chest. God, he missed her. She would be livid if she could see the mess he had gotten himself into now._

*****

It had been made obvious this was old footage, but the Julia who had been asleep for the last two months felt her heart beating quickly. Having that much time removed from your life was daunting enough. Seeing what had occured during those two months almost sent her over the edge. He had to have been so frightened. _Her poor David._

Julia felt short on oxygen and thought for a moment she might faint. She released a shaky breath as the camera broadcast David walking through the streets of London, guns trained on him as they walked.

They were moving slowly and Julia’s gaze couldn’t help but fall to the blonde walking next to him. Despite the dangerous situation, she found herself sizing up the woman. That must be Vicky. She had heard David speak of her, but had never seen a photo. It was easier to pretend their situation was “normal” without knowing anything about his wife.

Julia’s gaze shifted as she took in David’s appearance. The cameras could only get so close, but he looked like hell. Clearly, he had been badly injured in some sort of attack.

Just then, footage from another exchange appeared on the screen.

“You hid your involvement in Julia Montague’s assassination,” Craddock accused.

“I had nothing to do with Julia’s assassination! Nothing!” he cried out and Julia felt tears begin to sting at her eyes. The mix of confusion and outrage was evident on David’s face.

“I tried to save her,” he protested, and the desperation in his voice made a single tear begin to slide down her cheek. She swiped at it, vowing not to lose her resolve now. It was bad enough she had to lead this secret life in hiding, but for David to be blaming himself for her death… She almost couldn’t handle the idea. Julia sat with her head buried in her hands.

The feed went back to David, coming increasingly closer to his flat. Obviously exhausted by the stand-off and the the length of the walk, Julia was grateful he had someone there with him. Even if it was his wife. 

Julia scoffed at her own reaction then groaned, getting to her feet slowly, resting a hand on her back. She needed the anchor to return to the present day. She had to know what happened to David. The thought of losing him permanently was too much for her to bear. She paced the room as the anchor continued on with legal jargon about the three people being put on trial.

“PS David Budd was eventually cleared of all charges as he brought co-conspirators Luke Aikens, Nadia Ali and his former employer Lorraine Craddock to light. This has been a BBC update. We now return to your regular programming.”

Julia felt like the vice surrounding her heart had loosened at the anchors last bit of additional information.

“You could have bloody well led with that!” she yelled angrily at the TV, both relieved and terrified for what David had been through.

She hoped David was okay now. She wondered if he had finally gotten the help they both knew he needed.

There was so much at stake, not just for herself, but for David, too. Turning to glance back at the television one last time, she brought her hand up to run through her hair nervously as the other came to rest on her growing stomach.

David had to be alright. For her and for their child.


	2. Loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia and David both wonder how their lives would be different if they still had each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your kind words about my first chapter! I hope you guys enjoy this one just as much. 
> 
> Also, I love a good cliffhanger, and I won't apologize for it. Sorry not sorry, Victoria. ;)

****It was a rare dreary day in Tuscany, as Julia sat by her computer, glancing out the window over the rain-soaked fields and vineyards at Tenuta Torciano. She still couldn’t believe this was her life now. It seemed such a mundane existence for someone who used to make such a difference.

It had been about two weeks since Julia had seen the news coverage from the day of David’s bomb scare and she still found herself wavering in some sort of strange time warp. Having done a little more research on the state of affairs in Britain following her supposed death, Julia was surprised to find that Vosler had resigned as Prime Minister and Stephen Hunter-Dunn had resigned as well. A new race for the Number 10 spot was well underway and Julia tried not to feel bitter about it. That should have been her race. The kompromat was her ticket to a bid for PM. And instead she was, for all intents and purposes, being held captive in Italy as life moved on without her.

Well, not all life.

Two months. Julia glanced at the calendar next to her computer. She truly had had no idea she had lost that much time, although her swollen belly should have been her first indication. When she woke up and the doctors began to list off the numerous surgeries and treatments she had to undergo as a result of the bomb, they kept speaking of “taking special care” and “being extra cautious for their safety.”

_“You had to undergo a blood transfusion when you were brought in,” her general practitioner explained during one of their conferences._

_At this point, Julia had heard from her doctors who had dealt with surgery for a broken hip and a punctured lung. Her hip had taken the brunt of the damage when she was push backward by the force of the blast and her doctors had instructed her she would need crutches to assist her in getting around once she was up and on her feet. She was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed and rubbed at her temples in frustration. She felt incredibly weak, and a headache was beginning to form above her right temple. She felt a sort of queasiness that she attributed to her medication. Thankfully, and somewhat vainly, Julia was thankful most of her bruises and cuts had started to fade over time._

_“We had to be especially cautious…” her doctor told her, glancing at the team of doctors around him, uncertainly. Julia Montague was an intimidating woman, even in her current state of healing. They had all seen the headlines and knew this was a complicated task. It had quickly become obvious to all of them that their patient had no idea she was pregnant. Earlier in the breakroom, they had all drawn straws to find out who would tell the former home secretary the news and Dr. Russo had drawn the short straw -- both literally and figuratively._

_“Your blood pressure dropped and we almost lost you both,” he said quickly. “It was touch and go for a while --”_

_Julia held up her hand to stop him._

_“Wait just a moment,” she said, her brows knitting together. “Lost us both?” she repeated, putting the emphasis on the final word. “What do you mean by both?”_

_Dr. Russo took a deep breath. His colleagues all seemed to be looking anywhere but at him or at their patient._

_“Well, Ms. Montague…”_

_Julia gave him a warning look. She’d_ _had the discussion with each of them at least three times to call her by her first name._

_“Julia…You’re pregnant.”_

She would be turning 42 later this year, had managed to survive an assassination attempt on her life...twice, and had been planning to run for Prime Minister, only to find out she was pregnant with her still-married bodyguard’s baby. The universe’s sense of humor was not lost on her.

By her doctor’s accounts, she was about 15 weeks along now and the baby seemed to be measuring nicely, much to her distress. Her clothes were beginning to cling to her in different ways than they used to and she had taken to wearing articles of clothing that were a bit looser than her wardrobe of old. She still carried most of the weight in her stomach, although she swore every time she looked in the mirror she was beginning to see her face change, too.

A ping came through on her computer, notifying her of an email. Recognizing the name in the sender line, she clicked it, reading over it quickly.

_Emilia._

_Nothing new to report with subject. He spent the day at the park with his wife and their children. See photos attached. Will update as soon as there is cause._

_John_

It still felt strange to tell this PI her name was anything other than Julia, but if she wanted to re-integrate herself in society, she didn’t have a choice. She could no longer be Julia to anyone. Emilia was the name of one of her nurses at the hospital when she first woke up. She took an interest in Julia and her “situation,” quickly becoming fast friends. Coming to speak to her everyday and update her on things happening in the world and around the hospital, it was nice to have a distraction. Julia had been devastated when the girl told her she was changing jobs and would no longer be able to care for her. She wasn’t sure she would have gotten through those first days without Emilia.

Julia clicked on the first photo attached to the email and felt her heart stop for just a moment. Her hand automatically went to rest on her stomach as she stared at the photo of David pushing Ella on a swing. She was laughing and his grin was wide as he took in the sight. The next photo showed Charlie on his back as he walked toward their car, each of them holding a scoop of ice cream. Julia chuckled at the expression on David’s face, hearing his laugh in her head.

Seeing David with his children made Julia’s heart ache for two completely different reasons. It was so good to see him happy, and reinforced her belief that hiring a private eye to check up on David was the right decision. She needed to know that he was okay. And if she couldn’t do it herself, this was the next best thing.

But she also found herself wondering about their own child that was currently growing inside of her. Would that child ever get to know it’s father? Or would the two of them have to begin a new life together here in Italy all on their own? She sighed, rubbing her hand over her stomach in circles.

“No matter what happens, at least we have each other, Baby Budd,” she whispered softly. She was rewarded with a tiny flutter of movement and she felt the tears begin to prick at her eyes.

 

David spun around in circles while holding Charlie tight to his back, smirking at the fit of giggles that bubbled from the boy’s lips. The ice cream cone Charlie had begged him for was beginning to drip onto his shoulder. He grabbed for Ella’s hand as they crossed the park and she looked up at him with a snaggle-toothed grin, missing one tooth right in the front.

He wouldn’t trade these moments for anything. Well...almost anything. He wished Julia could be here with them. She had never even had the chance to meet his children before she was taken away from him.

Meeting Vicky in the center of the park, they all had an ice cream before the kids went home with their mom. David took off on foot, making his way toward his therapy appointment.

The days when he had therapy were the days he found himself thinking of Julia the most. Their time together had been so short, but when he laid it all out in therapy, he realized how much she had truly changed him. Even going to therapy had been inspired by Julia. If it wasn’t for her… Well, he couldn’t even think about it.

She had been right when she told him he needed to get help. It was the same thing Vicky had told him, too. But the night that he woke up with his hands wrapped tightly around Julia’s neck still haunted him. To think that the one man charged with guarding her life could hurt her in that way…The guilt still consumed him.

“How are you feeling today, David?” He bit back his laugh at the stereotypical question from his ‘shrink.’ He liked Dr. Evans. She was kind and compassionate, and she let him speak when he needed to and think when he needed to do that, too.

“Better than I have in a long time, Dr. Evans,” he told her. “I went to the park with my kids today and we had a great time.”

“And yet?” the psychiatrist asked gently, not probing.

“I heard heels clicking on the sidewalk, and I turned, half expecting to see her…” he admitted, growing serious. His smile faded slightly. “It’s been almost three months to the day, and I still look for her when I enter a room.”

The doctor made a few notes on her chart and encouraged David to continue.

“Why do you think that is?” she asked.

“I don’t know... “ David answered honestly, shrugging his shoulders. “My job was to protect her. That was my duty, day in and day out. And along the way...that role changed. I was more than her PPO…she was more than the Home Secretary. It wasn’t anything we ever went looking for.”

The doctor smiled knowingly. “Why do you think it is that you both found it?”

“Loneliness, I suppose…” he answered. “I felt like my entire world was falling apart when I came back from the war. I never wanted to admit what it did to me. But it really wrecked me. I was distant with my kids, with Vicky… Julia, she led a life surrounded by people, but she was lonely, too. No one ever really saw her, I think… Until I came along.”

“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if Julia was still here?”

“Aye. Every day…” he admitted. “The last thing she said to me before the explosion was that she wanted me right beside her… because it was our choice. And not because it was my job. I’ll always wonder how life would have been different.”

The blonde nodding understandingly. “Let’s change topics for a minute. We’ll come back to Julia,” she told him, looking back at her notes from their previous session. “Last time you were here, we talked about looking forward to the future. What are some things you have going on that you’re looking forward to?” she asked and David was thoughtful.

“Ella is in a play at her school next month,” he said. “She’s a rabbit. And she’s really excited about it…”

“That’s lovely,” Dr. Evans said. “I’m sure she’ll be wonderful. And you’ll be on the front row, cheering her on.”

He nodded, then thought for a moment. “An old Army buddy of mine invited me to his wedding in a couple of weeks…”

“And are you going to go?”

“Aye, I think so. He and the Mrs. really want to make it a big party. He’d be disappointed if I didn’t show. It’s at a vineyard in … Tuscany, I think.”

He pulled his phone out of his pocket pulling up the name of the place.

“Yeah, Tuscany. A place called Tenuta Torciano.”


	3. Risks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia wishes David was in Tuscany with her, meanwhile he has a heart-to-heart with Vicky about the Home Secretary and their relationship before he leaves for Tenuta Torciano.

“I don’t know, Sal. It seems risky to go to a party when I’m supposed to be dead.”

The man sitting across from Julia in her living room laughed, taking a sip of tea.

“What better reason to attend, my dear? You can dance like nobody's watching. Because no one will be!” His chuckle made his belly shake slightly and Julia couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

Salvatore Di Petro smirked at her over the rim of his teacup. Sal and Julia had attended law school together in London and had somehow managed to keep in touch decades later. Now a high-ranking judge in the Italian courts system, no one would suspect him of hiding the “dead” Home Secretary at his family’s summer home in Tuscany. He was the perfect cover.

“I don’t know, Sal,” Julia ran her hand through her hair nervously as she glanced out the window. “It seems a foolish mistake to make…”

“Emilia…” He began softly, smiling tenderly at her. He had slipped up and called her Julia only once since she arrived at Tenuta Torciano, but had quickly adapted to her new name. He took his job of protecting her very seriously, being the only one at the estate to know the real reason she was living at the cottage.

“You can’t hide forever, my dear.”

Julia turned to face him. “It’s not safe for us out there, Sal. If it was just me, alright… but I have to look out for my child. He or she is the most important thing to focus on.”

The sentiment came out unexpectedly and Julia surprised even herself as Sal gave her a knowing look.

Julia Montague had never been one of those women who felt she had to be a mother. She and her own mother had never been close, and she never felt the warm fuzzy feelings that many women seemed to have when it came to having children. She and Roger had once decided that if it happened, it happened, and it would be meant to be. But they never actively pursued having a baby. Julia’s career began to take off shortly after they were married and Roger’s resentment of her was fostered by her success. Soon, the two were fighting every day, and a baby was the furthest thing from her mind.

But now that she was pregnant, she could barely contain the maternal feelings she felt. She often found the feelings and emotions overwhelming as she thought about her baby. The shock had taken her a while to get over. After all, she was already almost 11 weeks along when she found out. The baby growing inside of her had been no bigger than a lime, but for her, it represented so much more. This baby was a permanent reminder of the connection she shared with David. It had been so strong and so real but over so quickly, and it seemed like it was fate for it to manifest itself into a tiny living, breathing human.

Sal approached her, taking both of her hands in his own. “It’s a wedding, Julia. That’s all. Get out and breathe a little bit. Interact with people. We’ll take all the necessary precautions to ensure your safety … for both of you.” He glanced down at her stomach and smiled. “Motherhood looks good on you.”

“Think about the offer, amico,” he told her. “I have to get home. Rosita will kill me if I’m late for dinner again.”

_Friend._

Kissing both of her cheeks, Sal left the cottage and began to walk back toward the main house.

Following him out of the house, Julia found herself on the terrace again, the place that was quickly becoming her favorite spot at the vineyard. A soft string of lights wrapped around the arbor, and Julia walked to the railing at the edge, looking up at the sky as she leaned against the banister.

She wondered what David was doing right now. And if he was looking up at the same night sky that she was. Closing her eyes, she envisioned his face in her head, running her fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck. Of all the things she missed about her old life, she knew it was him she missed the most.

“Oh, David… I wish I could be with you right now,” she whispered.  


 

David sat in a chair in the backyard of his former home, looking up at the sky. He had come over to Vicky’s to have dinner with her and the children before he left for Tuscany tomorrow. She had gone up to tuck Ella and Charlie in for the night while he wandered out into the backyard.

It was nice to be able to relax like this again around his family. For so long, things had been so tense and so serious. He felt like he was finally able to breathe again.

“It’s nice to have you back again, Dave…” Vicky said softly from the doorway as she watched him. Her words had more than one meaning.

David smiled at her, motioning for her to come sit next to him.

“Aye. It’s good to be back, Vic… The therapy, I think it’s really helping…”

She sat down in the chair next to his and smiled. “I’m glad. I’m glad you finally went…” She hesitated. “Was _she_ the reason?”  

There was no hint of accusation in her voice. Only curiosity. She had heard David speak of Julia Montague only briefly, but she could tell there was something there beyond what he was saying.

“Would you be upset if I said yes?” He asked softly, his gaze returning to the sky.

“No,” Vicky answered honestly. “If meeting her was what it took for you to get the help you needed, I’m grateful to her for that. I only wish I had gotten the chance to tell her.”

David nodded. “There are a lot of things I wish I had gotten the chance to tell her…” his voice trailed off and Vicky looked at him oddly.

“Dave…what happened with you two?”

In the past, she had tried to deny the sneaking suspicion Dave’s relationship with the home secretary went beyond being strictly professional. She had been surprised when he admitted it to her in the hospital all those months ago -- back when he wanted to tell her before she found out from someone else after Julia’s death. She hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it then. She didn’t know how to. But now, seeing the person he had become, and occasionally catching glimpses of the man she had once fallen in love with, she didn’t feel there was much they couldn’t talk about.

David paused, returning his gaze to hers. He had once thought that Vicky was the love of his life. Now he knew, while he would always love her as the mother of his children, they had outgrown their young love. He thought about denying his feelings for Julia, but he liked the honesty Dr. Evans had encouraged him to foster with the people in his life. While he couldn’t tell many about his relationship with the Home Secretary, he knew he could tell Vicky anything.

“Aye…I just...” he began quietly, his words trailing off as he looked down at his hands. When he thought about it, he could still feel Julia’s body beneath them as they spent their nights together locked in the sanctuary of the Blackwood Hotel. The hours they spent getting acquainted with each others bodies were burned into his brain and he hoped he never forgot them. He could still hear the soft sounds she made as he trailed his fingers down her body in the pale moonlight. He could still hear her calling out his name, and for a second it seemed so real, he looked around, half expecting to see her there. When his gaze returned to Vicky, she was looking at him expectantly.

“I loved her, Vic…” he finally said, coming back from the memory. “I loved her and I never got to tell her.”

Before he could stop them, the tears started to flow and Vicky reached out for his hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“I’m sure she knew, Dave…” she told him softly, watching as the walls he was working so hard to break down seemed to rebuild themselves around him.

“I should be going,” wiping stubbornly at a tear, David got to his feet. “I still need to pack. I’ll look in on the kids on my way out.”

Vicky nodded. “Dave… take some time for yourself while you’re over there. Travel and see the sights. Enjoy it. But most importantly, take care of yourself.”

He turned to look at her as he reached the door. “Thanks, Vic. I’ll be in touch.”  
  


A soft ding was heard across the living room as Julia’s computer lit up with an email. Julia, who was dozing on the couch, heard the noise and turned in her sleep, her back facing away from the bright light of the outdated laptop.

_Emilia,_

_Followed subject to the airport last night. Couldn’t get confirmation where he was going, but it looks like he’s traveling internationally. Not sure when he’ll return. Will keep an eye on the family and keep you updated._

_John_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t kill me. I know it’s not Tuscany yet. But soon! Hang in there. It will be worth the wait. 
> 
> Thank you for all your sweet comments and feedback. You guys make it so much fun to share my story.


	4. Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia remembers happier times; David gets lost in Tuscany.

**** When Julia returned from visiting Rosita at the main house the next morning, she was surprised to find a blue box with a white ribbon sitting on the table on the terrace.  _ For tonight, _ the tag read. There was no name on the card and Julia eyed the package skeptically. 

Opening the box, she saw the black formal dress and scoffed.  _ Sal. Of course.  _

She had to hand it to him. He wasn’t one to give up easily. Having doubts about attending the wedding tonight as Sal’s guest, he seemed determined to change her mind. 

“Sal, of all people, should know how stubborn I am, Baby Budd,” she said softly, rubbing a hand over her stomach in circles. She was rewarded with a flutter of movement that stopped her as she entered the house. While her body reminded her every day that she was responsible for growing a life inside of her, feeling it move in response to her was a whole other sensation; one Julia wasn’t sure she would ever get used to. It made the pregnancy… and the baby… all so real. 

Her baby. She smiled ruefully, shaking her head. Her little Baby Budd. Her heart swelled at the nickname she had given the baby. She hoped if he were a boy, he would be handsome like his daddy. And if it were a girl like her, may the odds be in her favor … She would need it.

Thinking of David again, she sighed. Remembering John’s email, she frowned, wondering where David was off to. International travel? Julia let her mind wander, imagining him showing up in Italy. She scoffed and dismissed the idea.  _ Get a hold of yourself, Julia.  _ More likely, he was off to Scotland to visit his family. Yes, she was sure that was it.

Taking the box inside, she sat it down on the kitchen counter and walked away, determined not to give it a second thought. She had to admit, Sal knew her well.

A few moments later, she doubled back, looking at the dress again. Taking it out of the box, she shook her head. Her old friend obviously spared no expense on the beautiful Italian gown. It was too much.

Taking it into her bedroom, she couldn’t help but hold it up against her body, glancing at herself in the mirror. She smirked. 

“Like it would even bloody fit, thanks to you, little one,” she murmured, shaking her head. Her baby bump was still small, but it was obvious that the rest of her body was beginning to slowly change along with her stomach. 

Glimpsing at herself in the mirror, she couldn’t help but be reminded of another time. She had been invited to a gala given by her party in London last fall. She knew she would have to at least make an appearance, even if she despised gatherings of the sort. It had been just a few days before the bombing at St. Matthew’s and was one of her fondest memories thinking of those last days with David. 

_ “What do you think?” she asked uncertainly, holding her arms out at her sides as David entered her suite from his adjoining room, dressed to the nines in a tux and fiddling with his tie. “Will this do?”  _

_ David stopped in his tracks, taking in Julia’s appearance. She had swapped out her traditional pantsuit for an elegant black gown that dipped into a v in the front and was cut low in the back. Her hair had a tighter curl to it than usual and her lips were painted a surprising shade of red. He had never seen this side of Julia Montague and David wanted to remember her forever this way. _

_ He had been staring for a moment too long and Julia began to feel uncomfortable.  _

_ “David?” she repeated, waving a hand in front of his face.  _

_ Shaking his head slightly, he broke his trance-like state and frowned. “No, ma’am… That simply  _ won’t _ do.” _

_ Walking briskly over to her, he reached her in a few steps and stood behind her looking at her in the mirror.  _

_ “What’s wrong with it?” she asked nervously, surprised by his answer. “It’s a gala, so I’m expected to…” her words trailed off as she felt one of David’s hands go to her waist and the other move to the zipper of the dress. Her face transformed from worry into a sly smile.  _

_ “David…” she warned, feeling the cold air of the hotel room hit her lower back as he unzipped the dress. “David, stop. We don’t have time for --” _

_ She stopped speaking as she felt his lips began to kiss a trail from the back of her neck to her shoulder blade. His hands seemed to burn a trail across her body as he caressed her hips, continuing his mission. She could feel the heat of his fingers through the thin material of her dress as he slipped the straps of the dress off of her body. _

_ “David…” she whispered breathlessly, feeling her resolve begin to crumble.  _

_ “Ma’am, forgive me for saying this…” he paused, paying equal hommage to her other shoulder. “As stunning as you look in this dress, I think it would look much better on the floor.” _

_ “P.S. Budd, what an improper thing to say…” Julia giggled. “Now, shut up and kiss me.”  _

_ And kiss her, he did. _

_ Afterward, Julia checked her reflection in the mirror, and reapplied her lipstick before turning to face David. “That’s a good color on you, P.S. Budd,” she said with a cheeky grin. David smirked and wiped his face once more, making sure to remove any traces of red from his lips. Needless to say, the two of them had been very late to the gala. _

Tossing the dress away from her body like she had been burned, Julia sank down on the bed. It seemed like all she could think about these days was her time with David. And while the memories of him were good, they were each tinged with a bit of sadness now, not knowing if she would ever see him again. 

Well, that memory had made up her mind. She wouldn’t be going to the wedding tonight. Sal had assured her he had all the proper plans in place if she had decided to go, but had reassured her that if she decided to stay away, no one from the party would see her. The vineyard was big enough that their paths would never cross. Feeling anything but social, Julia reached for her phone. 

_ Thank you for the lovely dress, Sal. But I won’t be attending tonight. Xo. _

She sent the text without hesitation and got up again, leaving her phone on her bed. Another night with ice cream and cheesy American soap operas it was, she guessed. She had just settled in on the couch with a pint of ice cream when there was a knock on the door. 

Grumbling about having to get up again, Julia sat the ice cream on the table and slowly rose to a standing position, sighing as she felt the familiar ache in her hip that seemed to be ever-present these days. The thought crossed her mind about how her recovery would grow more difficult as she got further along in her pregnancy. She made a note to ask her doctor about it at her next appointment. Opening it, she was surprised to see Lorenzo Carmichael on the other side of the door. Almost like he had read her mind. She had been expecting it to be Sal.

“Dr. Carmichael, are you making house calls now?” She asked, taking in his appearance. He was dressed sharply in a suit and a tie and it took her a moment to register that he probably owned more than just scrubs. 

“Ah, Julia. I’m sorry, I should have called first…” He suddenly looked unsure of himself. “I’m here for the wedding tonight, but got here earlier than I should have. I didn’t want to be in the way, so I thought I should come up and see how you were doing.”

Julia smiled at his thoughtfulness, despite her irritation at her soap opera being interrupted. Diana had just poisoned Marlena and she needed to know what was going to happen next.  _ ‘How absurd you sound, _ ’ she thought to herself.

“I’m sorry, I’m probably intruding,” he apologized again and turned to go when Julia stopped him. 

“Lorenzo, you’re fine,” she reassured him. Lorenzo was one of the few people who knew she was staying on location at the vineyard. Due to her “delicate situation,” he had come out to the main house for her doctor’s appointments after she was released from the hospital. It’s not like she could really waltz into his office any time she needed a check-up. 

Looking past him at the door, she noticed the sun was just beginning to set. “Listen, I’ve been cooped up in the house all day and Baby Budd and I could use some fresh air. Why don’t we take a walk around the cottage?” she suggested. Her physical therapist had suggested she walk regularly, even if it was slower than usual, to try to get her hip back into shape. It wasn’t always an easy task, but she knew it would make her life easier if she followed his instructions. 

She wondered if she was making the right decision, going out with so many people on the property, but she also knew they were far enough from the main house that no one was likely to see them. And even if they did, no one would be close enough to know who she was. 

Lorenzo nodded. “You should grab a sweater, it’s starting to get chilly out here,” he said before he could stop himself. Julia looked at him, arching a brow, but said nothing. Grabbing her favorite cashmere cardigan off the coat rack by the door, she threw it on before exiting the house. 

They walked in a peaceful silence for a few moments and Julia eyed Lorenzo from the side of her vision. He was taking in their surroundings, and she was grateful for the presence of another person. She only thought her life had been lonely before when she served as Home Secretary. Now, she was lucky if she saw anyone but her reflection all day. 

“Are you feeling well?” he asked after a few minutes and Julia nodded. “I am, although I seem to be tired all the time,” she admitted honestly.

Lorenzo smiled. “Growing a human will do that to you … or so I’ve heard,” he added quickly and Julia laughed. 

She liked Lorenzo. When she first found out she was pregnant, she had been so alarmed. Being in the coma, she had missed out on the the first few months of her pregnancy and she had been thrown into the idea of motherhood very quickly. Lorenzo came in shortly after Dr. Russo had told her the news and had done his best to calm her fears about her health and the safety of her baby. He was one of those people that was reassuring without really trying. She needed more people like that in her life. 

Suddenly feeling a wave of dizziness wash over her, she paused, grabbing Lorenzo’s arm for support. He steadied her and she closed her eyes, breathing deeply through her nose and out her mouth. 

“You okay?” He asked her worriedly and she nodded, her eyes still closed. Opening them again, she smiled. “I’m fine. Just a little bit of dizziness. It’s passed.”

“Don’t you go losing yourself on me, Madame Home Secretary. I know I look big and strong, but carrying two people back to the cottage would be difficult…” he teased, causing Julia to laugh. 

Neither of them saw the figure watching them curiously from a distance.

 

David sighed in frustration. He had been walking a long time and seemed no closer to the vineyard’s main house than he had been 15 minutes ago. Surely, he had gone the wrong way. 

Stopping to look around, he grumbled under his breath. At the rate he was going, he was going to miss the wedding entirely. Although if he was honest, he wouldn’t mind just being there for the party. He wasn’t sure his heart was really in the right place for a wedding. And a beer sounded great right about now.

After his discussion with Vicky, he had boarded a plane and headed off for Tuscany with a one-way ticket, not sure when he would return to London. Vicky was right. He needed to take some time for himself and see where the wind took him. 

Right now, it looked like the wind had taken him the wrong way as he spotted a group of cottages up ahead. This definitely wasn’t right.

He was about to turn and head back down the hill where he had come from when she spotted a couple walking together in the distance. He could only see the back of them, but the couple walked slowly, clearly deep in the middle of a conversation. He hesitated. Something seemed familiar about them, but he couldn’t see their faces. 

Deciding to stop and ask them for directions before he became even more hopelessly lost, he walked closer to where they stood. The woman had her hand on the man’s arm and he hesitated. He didn’t want to interrupt a private moment. 

He was just about to turn back around and head down the hill when he heard a laugh that chilled him to his core. His head whipped around and he was sure that he had imagined the sound. Just like the clicking of the high heels in the park, it couldn’t be her…  _ Could it? _

Then the pieces began to fall into place. From behind, the woman looked like Julia. Her hair was longer and her sweater was more oversized than she normally wore… but when he heard that laugh, his heart began to beat rapidly in his chest. 

He knew that laugh. It was the laugh that he had heard under a fort of white sheets at the Blackwood Hotel. It was the laugh that echoed in the bathroom as Julia pushed him up against the door or surprised him by joining him in the shower. 

By now, he was nearly upon them and he couldn’t help but call out to her. His voice was uncertain and he had to keep himself from running toward the stranger. Is this what going mad felt like?

“Julia?” he said softly, then louder at first. “Julia!” 

The woman whipped around at the sound of her name and David stopped in his tracks. Standing in front of him was a ghost. A ghost he had spent the last four months trying to forget. And a ghost that looked even more shell-shocked than he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you all begin to plot my murder, I'm planning on uploading the next chapter tonight. So stay tuned for that! 
> 
> A side note that the new flashback Julia has is about two days before the explosion at St. Matthew's. Just to give you all a better idea. 
> 
> Also, I say it every time, but I couldn't write this without you, Linn and Victoria. You guys are the BEST.


	5. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Julia are finally reunited, but they each have their own secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay, I think I've tortured you guys enough ... for now. So, finally, the reunion chapter! Side note: Julia is about 19 weeks along now and Baby Budd is a mango. :)
> 
> Thank you SO much for all of your kind comments! I love hearing what you guys think of this story.

****_ When Julia Montague first met David Budd, she had been taken aback by the intensity in his eyes. An observant man of very few words, she often caught him staring at her through the glass wall of her office each day. _

_ Then again, she reasoned that was his job. To watch her. But his gaze sometimes unnerved her; even after they had taken things a step further than a professional relationship. There were times she would look up from editing a speech to find his unwavering gaze on her, observing. In bed at night, after they made love, he would stare at her with a small smirk resting on his lips. It made her feel like she was being consumed by him as she leaned forward to place a sloppy kiss on his lips in response.  _

As Julia came face-to-face with David for the first time in almost five months, she was struck by his gaze again. She struggled for the words to say, unsure where to start. She couldn’t believe he was here. A mixture of elation and panic settled deep in her stomach. He was here with her again, but if  _ he _ had found her, who was to say someone who wanted her dead couldn’t track her down just as easily?

“Julia…” he repeated her name again, almost afraid to breathe. Why hadn’t she said anything? David was sure he was dreaming. He had to be. He would wake up any minute and be disappointed and then furious when she had disappeared again. That was how it always went.

Lorenzo stepped between the two of them protectively, looking between Julia and the stranger in front of him. 

“Julia?” he repeated and shook his head at David. “No, you must be confused, my friend. This is Emilia.” 

Lorenzo looked back at Julia, his eyes uncertain. 

“Emilia?” he repeated and Julia looked between the two men. She knew what Lorenzo was trying to do and she gave him a grateful smile. 

“It’s alright, Lorenzo…” Pulling her cardigan tighter around her body, she turned to fully face David for the first time. There was no use dropping all of the bombs at once. Telling him about the baby… that would take time. 

“Sargeant Budd…” she whispered after a moment of silence, the tears welling in her eyes. It came out more formally than the teasing tone she used to take with him and she shook her head the tiniest bit. “David.  _ You’re here. _ ”

Hearing her say his name was all it took for David to lose the last remaining bit of composure he still had. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but was afraid to. How she could still be standing after the bomb went off at St. Matthew’s, he wasn’t sure. He took in the details of her appearance like he was truly seeing her for the first time. Her hair had grown longer and now framed her face in gentle waves that reached past her shoulders. It was lighter than the last time he had seen her. There was a slight fullness to her face he didn’t remember, but looking at her now, it made him smile. That meant she was healthy and healing.

As David took in her appearance, Julia was busy memorizing every feature of his face. His steely blue eyes were the same, but his hair was shorter. There was a gash above his eyebrow that was healing and a knick in his bottom lip that she resisted the urge to reach out and run her fingers over. His jaw was clenched as he examined her, and she suddenly felt self-conscious, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Lorenzo looked between the two of them. It was obvious he was intruding on a moment, but he didn’t want to leave Julia alone if she was unsure about the situation. He still didn’t even know who the man in front of him was, but it was clear he knew Julia. And knew her well.

“I should go.” It was more of a question than a statement, and Julia turned to look at him in surprise. For a moment, she had forgotten he was even there. She had forgotten anything existed beside her and David.

She nodded. “Yes, David and I have a lot to catch up on. Plus, you’re going to be late for the wedding,” she reminded him and he glanced at his watch. 

She was right. The ceremony would be starting any moment. 

“Right. You’re right. You always are,” he said charmingly, glancing back at David once more. “If you need me, I’ll be at the main house.” Reaching into his pocket, he held up his iPhone. “Call me if you need _anything_.”

He stressed the last word and David scoffed. Julia turned to look at him sharply. 

Lorenzo watched the sparks fly between them and shook his head knowingly before turning and walking down the hill. If he had to guess, he would say he had probably just met the father of Julia’s baby.

When he was gone, Julia sighed. 

“Was that really necessary?” she asked, and David shrugged. “You tell me.”

Julia resisted the strong urge to roll her eyes. He had been there for three minutes, and she was already ready to throttle him. 

“David, how are you here?” she asked and David softened. 

“I could be asking you the same question, Julia. For the last five months, I thought you were… well, dead.”

“I know… I can explain” she said softly. This was not a discussion she wanted to have here. “Come with me.” 

Pulling her cardigan around herself even tighter as they made their way back to the cottage, she felt a fluttering in her stomach. Although to be honest, she wasn’t sure if it was the butterflies from seeing David again or Baby Budd trying to make their presence known. How was she going to tell him about the baby? Just that morning she had been wondering if he would ever even be able to meet his child, and here he was standing in front of her. Life was a funny thing.

The two of them walked in silence. Both of them had so much to say, but neither knew where to start. Not to mention the state of disbelief they were both still experiencing. David naturally fell a few steps behind Julia and she couldn’t help but smile. 

“Old habits die hard, don’t they, P.S. Budd?” she murmured and they both chuckled. 

“Ma’am,” came his simple one-word response.  _ That  _ intensified the butterflies. 

As her cottage came into view, she grew more nervous. There was something strange and almost forbidden about inviting David into her new home. This had been just hers for so long, to share it with anyone else almost seemed ….. wrong. 

“Well, this is home….” she said softly, hesitating outside the door. She had spent so many nights here dreaming about the day that David might show up at her doorstep. And now he was here. Entering the cottage, Julia hesitated by the coat rack where her sweater usually remained. She didn’t want to drop the baby bomb right away. There were other things they needed to discuss first so she kept it on.

David watched her, observing the simplest movements and taking it all in. He couldn’t believe he was in the same room with her again when just this morning he was thinking about how badly he needed to let the ghost of Julia Montague go.

They entered the living room and she moved toward the windows, closing the shutters. The room was dimly lit with the light from the TV and a small lamp in the corner. If it wasn’t for their current situation, Julia would almost find it cozy.

David took in the details of the room. It was very Julia-esque as she had obviously made it her own. There were a stack of books on the table beside the sofa, the one on top ear-marked in a number of places. A record player sat in the corner, and David found himself wondering what she had been listening to lately. Walking over to it, he rested his fingers gently on the tone arm. Ah, of course, Rodgers and Hammerstein. He should have known. 

Not many people would have pegged Home Secretary Julia Montague as a fan of musicals. He was surprised when she admitted it to him as they had watched a documentary on the West End. “The King and I” and “My Fair Lady” were two of her favorites. Both had strong female leads, of course. 

“How did you find me, David?” she asked, watching him as he inspected her new life here. Finding out if they were still safe in Tuscany was her number one concern. Everything else could wait.

David was surprised by the question.

“ _ Find _ you?” he repeated, turning to look at her. “I came here for a wedding. One of my old Army pals… he invited me to Tenuta Torciano. I had no idea you were here. I had no idea you were even alive, Julia. How?”

Julia felt relief at his answer. He hadn’t tracked her down. But she couldn’t believe out of all the places in the world, they had ended up at the same one at the same time. 

“That’s quite the coincidence, David…” she said with a laugh as she began to pace the room nervously. She didn’t know what to do with her hands or her body. She was so nervous around him. The feeling unnerved her. She was about to say something else, when she stopped and looked at him. “It seems rather warm in here. Do you think it’s warm?” she asked, feeling unsettled.

“Well, love, you still have your sweater on.” The term of endearment slipped easily from his lips. “Why don’t you take it off and I’ll hang it up for you?”

Julia felt panic seize her heart for just a moment. She couldn’t take the sweater off. Not yet. As soon as he saw her, he would know.

She walked closer to him, offering her best smile. 

“Let me look at you, David.”

It wasn’t just a distraction technique. She really did just want to look at him. It felt like a sort of role reversal the way she was watching him now. Usually it was the other way around. Reaching out her hand tentatively, she hesitated. She didn’t know why she felt the need to ask permission to touch him. 

“Go on,” he murmured, barely audible, granting her what she was searching for. 

David’s heart was hammering in his chest as her fingers hovered just above the cut in his lip. Both of them barely breathing. Redirecting her gaze, Julia looked him over, her gaze falling on the side of his head. 

“What’s this?” she asked, indicating the gash near his temple that was in the process of healing. She reached to touch it, but David turned his head, avoiding the question. 

“Julia, I…”

Before he could answer, Julia had taken a step back and was pacing the room again, small beads of sweat beginning to form on her brow. The overwhelming emotions she was feeling combined with his closeness and the pregnancy hormones had her feeling like she was in a sauna. Not to mention the damn sweater. 

David watched her curiously. She was acting so strange. 

“Julia, just take off the bloody sweater if it’s making you so miserable!” he cried out after watching her pace for a moment. He reached for her arm and she flinched, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by David. 

“David, I…” She stopped, knowing he was right.

She was driving them both crazy, and he didn’t even know why. She was sure if she kept up this behavior much longer, David would take her straight to a mental hospital. He deserved to know. She knew that. Her back was to him and she took a deep breath, closing her eyes and counting to three. She had imagined this moment in her head so many times, but none of those scenarios had truly prepared her for this moment of truth. Taking a deep breath, she summoned up her courage and dropped the sweater to the ground. 

As she turned to him, her hands fidgeted nervously at her sides, unsure of what to do. David’s eyes went immediately to her stomach, just as she knew they would. Being 19 weeks along, the small but obvious bump under her shirt was hard to miss. He glanced from her face to her stomach and back to her face again. He looked like he might be sick. 

Before Julia could say anything, David rushed out the door and onto the terrace, Julia following after him. 

“David! Wait!” she cried out, grabbing his arm as she caught up to him. “Where are you going?”

“To punch an Italian bloke in the face,” he told her matter-of-factly.

Julia looked at him, puzzled as she gripped his arm tighter. His jaw was clenched so tight, Julia thought it might snap.

“What are you talking about, David?” she asked. This was  _ not _ the reaction she had been expecting. The pieces of the puzzle came together, and Julia paled. He thought Lorenzo had gotten her pregnant.

“David! Wait a minute. This isn’t… we didn’t…” she stammered over her words. She grunted in frustration. “For Christ’s sake, it’s your baby, you bloody idiot!”

David’s eyes widened as he looked at her, glancing down at her stomach again. Her hand still had a hold on his arm, and he was grateful for the extra support. He felt lightheaded as he stared at the woman in front of him.

“My baby?” he repeated, and Julia nodded, letting out a huge sigh of relief. She instantly felt better now that it was out in the open, but she watched him closely as a series of emotions played out on his face. First there was shock, then confusion, then uncertainty. “ _ My _ baby,” he repeated. And Julia nodded wordlessly. 

Moving quickly, David pulled her into his arms, wrapping her in a tight hug. It was the first time he had truly touched her and the sense of relief she felt flooded into her veins. 

“Julia, this is incredible!” He finally said, his voice muffled as he buried his face in her hair. She could feel the tears on his face, and it made her own eyes well up.  _ Damn these hormones.  _ He pulled back from her, looking at her face. He touched her, really touched her, for the first time and she felt the tears begin to come in a steady stream. His fingers moved slowly from her forehead to her cheek and then to her lips. It was as if he couldn’t get enough of touching her.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell you, David,” she explained, relaxing into his touch. “I was just nervous about telling you. We’ve been apart for so long… and I wasn’t sure what your reaction would be…”

David put a finger to her lips. “You’re having my baby, Julia. This is wonderful news. How could I be anything other than thrilled?” He looked like a kid on Christmas and Julia couldn’t help but giggle. 

“But when…. How……?” His question hung in the air and Julia smirked. 

“David, you already have two children. Surely you know how…..” 

David chuckled, turning a slight shade of pink. 

“No, I know how….I just meant...” he stammered, a blush creeping into his cheeks. 

Julia laughed, bringing a hand up to rest on his face. 

“Let’s go inside. We have so much to talk about.”

 

The two of them sat on the couch, their bodies tangled together. Julia was stretched out with her legs in David’s lap while he stared at her, making her blush at his scrutiny. 

“David, you’re staring,” she mumbled, looking away from his gaze. He only grinned in return. 

“Aye. I am.” he said, nodding. “You’re beautiful.” 

His hand hovered above her stomach, silently asking if he could feel, and she nodded. He began making small circles on her swollen skin and he shook his head in disbelief. He knew it would take time for this whole situation to seem real. She was alive. And having his baby. It all seemed like a dream. 

“When did you find out? How did you find out? Is everything okay with the baby after the explosion?” The questions came pouring out at a rapid rate and Julia held up a hand to silence him. 

“One at a time, David,” she said, giggling. “I’ll tell you everything.”

Nodding, he leaned forward and kissed her. Julia let out a small gasp as his lips touched hers for the first time in so long. Losing herself in his kiss, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. Their position was awkward as they continued to kiss and finally David pulled away laughing. 

“This was easier when there wasn’t a sort of beach ball thing between us,” David said chuckling and she hit his arm. 

“Hey, watch it! I'm not _that_ pregnant ... yet” she said with a smirk as the two of them snuggled close together on the couch. 

“When did you find out?” He asked again after a moment, smiling down at her as he traced a lazy pattern of x’s and o’s on her belly. 

“Like most typical to-be moms, I found out when I woke up from my coma,” she said. It was meant to be a joke but she wasn’t laughing. “I was placed in a medically induced coma for two months. When I woke up, I was in Rome and my doctors were giving me the long list of procedures I’d had done and the things I needed to know about… Baby Budd was on the list. I had to have a blood transfusion while I was there, and things were very risky for a while,” she admitted hesitantly. “But by some miracle, everything checked out just fine with the baby after that,” she reassured him, patting her stomach gently. The relief showed plainly on David’s face.

“Baby Budd…” He repeated with a smile and Julia nodded. 

“It’s my sort of pet name,” she told him softly. She hadn’t felt this relaxed since she’d woken up from her coma. The feeling of his fingertips on her stomach made her eyes drift shut slowly. 

“Boy or a girl?” he asked and Julia shrugged. “I don’t know. The pregnancy was such a surprise, I was overwhelmed. And then when they started asking me if I wanted to know, I told them no. It seemed like more of an adventure that way.”

They were quiet for a few minutes and David thought Julia might have fallen asleep when he heard her mumble something under her breath. “A lime.”

He looked down at her quizzically. “A lime?” He repeated. She nodded, her eyes still closed. 

“Baby Budd was as big as a lime when I found out they existed,” she said matter-of-factly. Her eyes opened. “I researched it. She’s a mango now.”

“I thought you said you didn’t know if it was a girl or a boy?”

“I don’t know for sure. But I feel like she’s a girl,” she smiled widely at him. “Lucky you. If I’m right, you get to deal with _two_ Montague women.”

David let out a short laugh, and then stopped, growing serious.

“Two of you? Bloody hell…” he said, his eyes wide, and Julia smacked his arm again. 

“Watch it, P.S. Budd.”

Turning so that he was facing her, David touched her face gently, lifting her chin to look at him. “You’re really okay, Julia?” he asked softly, not able to hide the emotion behind the question. He had been trying to deal with her death for so long that he wasn’t sure how to even truly acknowledge what had happened. 

“I really am okay,” she repeated. “In fact, I’m loads better now that you’re here with me…” She could go into detail about her long laundry list of injuries, but now didn’t seem like the time. “I just need you to hold me tonight, David. I’ve been thinking of this moment for a long time.” 

He smiled, sitting up. “Aye. I can do you one better than that.” Getting to his feet, he offered her his hand and pulled her up. She groaned a little, moving slowly, and David resisted the urge to chuckle at her. 

“I love you, Julia,” he told her softly as he intertwined his hand with hers, touching her face softly in the dimly lit room. 

It was the first time he had said the phrase, and it just sort of spilled from his lips easily in the moment. He thought back to his conversation with Vicky and how he has been devastated he had never gotten to tell her. Standing there in her living room in Tuscany, he swore he would spend every day of the rest of their lives proving how much she meant to him. 

He kissed her tenderly and Julia melted under his touch, her heart swelling at the moment. She squeezed his hand reassuringly, a soft smile playing on her lips.

“I love you, David,” she repeated as he led her to the first bedroom he found as they walked down the hall. 

“Where are you going?” she asked as he pulled her into the room. 

“I’m taking you to the bedroom,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. His goal seemed self-explanatory. Julia smirked. 

“David, this isn’t my bedroom. It’s across the hall.” The two of them burst into laughter and Julia shook her head as she moved toward the doorway across the hall from where they were. 

“Oh. This is better,” he said with a smirk as she leaned forward to kiss him in the doorway.   
  
  


 

A few hours had passed when Julia awoke. Keeping her eyes shut, she sent up a silent plea that it wasn’t a dream. She rolled over slowly, already noticing the soreness that was settling into her body from making love to David. Her hip ached from the new ... physical activity. Just this once, she welcomed the soreness. No, it hadn't been a dream. 

She turned to look at David who still seemed to be sleeping soundly. His arms were wrapped tightly around her like he would never let her go again. She placed her hand over his where it rested on her belly and she let out a content sigh. 

Leaning up on her elbow, she took in his features, stopping at the gash on his temple. He had changed the subject so quickly when she brought it up before. She wondered if he had been wounded badly during the bombing. The last thing she remembered seeing before the explosion was his face as he ran toward her. He was so determined to save her. She traced the place lightly with her fingers, inspecting it closely. His hair was beginning to grow over it, but she could tell whatever it was had left a nasty mark. 

Feeling him move beside her, she looked down at his face, realizing his eyes were now open and he was staring at her. “Does it hurt?” she asked softly and David shook his head wordlessly. 

“What happened to you?” she asked and he sighed, covering his face with the free hand that wasn’t wrapped around her body. 

“David?” she repeated. 

“Julia, I’m not proud…” he began then trailed off and her brows furrowed together. 

“David, tell me,” she said in frustration, growing more anxious by the minute. He obviously didn’t want to talk to her about whatever this was.

Taking a deep breath, David resigned himself to his confession. She’d had her moment of truth, now it was time for his. 

“When I heard you died…. When I thought I had lost you forever…..”  He hesitated and she placed her hand on his chest reassuringly.  “When I thought you died on my watch, I went back to my flat … and I tried to kill myself, Julia.”


	6. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David finally comes clean about what happened after Julia was pronounced "dead." Julia lets him have it. And it isn't pretty.

David’s words repeated in Julia’s head a few times before she could really process what he said. 

When they finally landed, she sat up quickly, bringing the sheet with her as she pulled away to look at him. Her mind went back to watching the news coverage of him in the center of the park, a suicide vest attached to his chest and she shook her head, trying to clear the image and the fog from her mind. It was one she would prefer to never think about again. 

“The suicide vest…” she said slowly. “I saw it on the news when I first woke up… I was terrified for you, David.” 

With the events of the day, her overwhelming happiness had made her forget the things that had happened that kept her from sleeping at night. The nightmares that seemed too real. She remembered standing in the living room, one hand over her mouth and one over a barely visible baby bump as she watched the news unfold. 

David was silent and Julia realized she was going to have to pull the details out of him.

“But that wasn’t you. You were cleared of all charges… so, how did you get the gash on your head? I saw the footage… you were walking toward your flat. You were cooperating.”

David wouldn’t look at her. 

“I… that’s not the time I’m talking about, Julia,” he admitted, looking anywhere but at her. 

She looked at him, suddenly unsure if she wanted to hear this confession. She debated dropping the topic, but her resolve hardened. They had come too far for secrets at this point and she needed to know where his head was these days. She considered him for a moment and couldn’t help but notice he was still avoiding her gaze.

“David… You have to tell me,” she probed gently. “No more secrets… please?”

She added the last part softly and David finally turned to look at her. 

“I was at the hospital with you after the bombing,” he said, looking down at his hands. “I rode in the same ambulance to make sure you were okay, but when we got there everyone started showing up. Rob... Mike… Roger... I was asked to give them privacy.”

Julia reached for his hand. She couldn’t imagine how hard being on the other side of that door was as they waited to hear about her condition. If the roles were reversed, she wasn’t sure how she would have made it through that. She rubbed her thumb against his palm reassuringly, encouraging him to continue.

“I was accosted by Roger in the waiting room and was eventually kicked out,” he said and Julia scoffed, rolling her eyes before David continued. “I didn’t want to leave you, Julia, but I didn’t want to make the situation worse for anyone either. My job had been to protect you, and I hadn’t done my job.”

“I understand that, David… But it wasn’t your fault, you never could have known…”

David shook his head, the tears gathering in his eyes as he remembered bits and pieces of that day and the conversations he had been forced to entertain while all he wanted was to be at the hospital, holding Julia and making sure she was alright. She was all that mattered.

He knew from that moment on, he would never forgive himself for not doing his job. His words to Vicky rang in his ears. He had played those moments over and over again in his head.

_ “It’s my job to protect the principal. Now she’s in an operating theater, fighting for her life.” _

Even as Julia sat there next to him, holding his hand, the emotions of that day showed clearly on his face. He was terrified to lose her, and then he thought he had. And it seemed like his entire world had gone dark. He hadn’t protected her. He had lost her. 

_ “I know you’ll never let anything bad happen to me.” _

Julia could see him getting lost in the memories and she reached out, touching his face to bring him back to the present. He flinched unexpectedly and she forced a small encouraging smile. 

“I can’t imagine how difficult all of this was for you,” she told him quietly. “But I’m here now. You didn’t lose me.” 

Taking his hand, she laid it flat against her chest, letting him feel her heart beating below his fingers. The regular thumping felt like a rhythm in his veins. He had never been more thankful to feel a heartbeat. After a moment, he placed his other hand on her stomach and her smile widened. 

“You didn’t lose  _ us, _ ” she corrected herself. “It still takes some time to speak about myself in the plural form... Go on, David. What happened next?”

“I came back into the hospital after I was interrogated … although they used a softer word for it,” he said bitterly. “Roger came in with your mother. I was standing in the corridor when they told them you hadn’t survived.”

_ “We did everything we could. I’m sorry.” _

Julia startled slightly at the thought of her mother. Julia hadn’t been the kind of daughter Frances Montague had always wanted. She was outspoken and headstrong, and Frances had always encouraged her to be polite and subdued. Thinking about it in that moment, Julia swore that her relationship with her child would be different. Baby Budd would never experience a life like that.

“And then?” she asked, breaking out of her reverie and seeing David gazing at her, letting her linger in her thoughts. 

“I don’t even remember making it back to my flat... I was just there.”

Thinking about it, he realized how much of a blur that day had been for him. 

“I wrote letters to Vicky and to Ella and Charlie,” he told her, looking away again. Julia wouldn’t let him pull his hand away from her heart as she gripped it tighter. It was almost as if it were a lifeline. “I apologized for not being a better husband and a better father after the war. I told them I loved them, that I would always love them.”

Julia’s throat was dry, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. It was obvious where this was going. She said nothing, not wanting to interrupt him.

“I had an illegal firearm that was hidden in my flat. I got it out and held it to my temple … and then I chickened out. I couldn’t do it.”

David thought back to that day, seeing it as if he were there all over again. But this time, he was watching the scene play out from above, much like he had imagined Julia doing at the time.

_He was kneeling on the floor in his flat, sobbing as he held the gun. The metal was cold beneath his fingers and he wasn’t sure he could do it. But then he saw Julia’s face as he cradled her head in his lap, waiting for help at St. Matthew’s. Protecting her. She was covered in debris_ _and blood. Then he was hunched above her, his stance protective. He was determined nothing else would get to her. He needed the pain to stop. He had failed her so miserably. He couldn’t live with the guilt._

_ “Fuck!” he yelled, angrily. He had made up his mind. _

_ Raising the gun to his head, he took a deep breath. Looking at a picture on the wall that Ella had drawn for him, the faces of his children and of Vicky and Julia swam in front of him. He pulled the trigger and felt a searing pain in his temple. Then everything went black. _

_ The next thing he remembered, he heard knocking, but it sounded like it was coming from far away. Trying to make his way through the fog, his head was throbbing. As he fought to open his eyes, the bright light from the room made him close them again. He heard a voice at his door. _

_ Vicky? Forcing his eyes open, he blinked a few times and got to his feet. Something wasn’t right. What had gone wrong? He should be dead right now. Could he not even get that right? _

_ “I’ve been phoning you all morning. I’m worried about you. Open the door, or I’ll call the police!”  _

_ Stopping to look in the mirror, he grimaced. He had made a ghastly mess of things.  _

At this point in the story, Julia had gotten to her feet. She felt like she was going to be sick. She wanted to say something but couldn’t find the right words. Reaching for a silk floral robe, she pulled the tie tight, whirling around to face David again. 

David bit back a smirk as he watched her grow irritated when she couldn’t get the tie done. Her hands were trembling. As soon as he saw her face, his smile faded. Now was not the time to tease her.

“You fucking shot yourself?!” she cried angrily after a moment. She shook her head as his words repeated in her head. “You actually put a bloody gun to your temple and tried to kill yourself!” 

Her outburst surprised both of them. But she couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. David said nothing. 

“David! What were you fucking thinking?!” she yelled, pacing the floor. “You have a family! Your children could have lost their father!” 

She wanted to laugh at the irony. Here she was, his pregnant … girlfriend? Lover? Former boss? She didn’t even know what she was. But nevertheless, here she was carrying his child, and reminding him he had a family to think about. 

“You think I don’t know that, Julia?!” He yelled in return before burying his head in his hands. 

“One of Aiken’s guys swapped the bullets in my gun so I could be the fall guy for your murder...” He explained. “I didn’t know it was a blank round when I pulled the trigger. That’s where the burn came from. I ruptured an eardrum. In a sort of roundabout way, Luke Aikens actually saved my life.”

“Un-fucking-believable.” Julia glared at him, her eyes narrowed. 

David understood why she was angry. He got angry with himself all over again every time he thought about what he had tried to do, but Julia couldn’t imagine what he had been feeling after her “death.” That made him angry, too. 

“I thought you had bloody died, Julia!” He found himself getting out of the bed and crossing the room, going to the window to look down at the vineyard below. There was a full moon high in the sky and it lit up the hills and valleys like a spotlight. If he and Julia weren’t fighting, he might have suggested going outside to snuggle up on the terrace. Shaking his head, he brought himself back to the current moment. That was the thing about Julia. He could never stay upset with her. Even during the middle of their “first big fight,” he was thinking of ways he could romance her and make up for lost time. 

His voice was low when he spoke again. “I’ve spent the last five months feeling like I was spiraling because I lost you. The grief and the guilt…” he shook his head, defeated, “it was killing me.” 

Julia grimaced at his choice of words. 

“Only because the gun didn’t?” She asked curtly before she could stop herself and she sucked in a breath, turning away from him. That was a low blow and she regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth.

“That’s not fucking fair and you know it, Julia,” he told her, his tone even. She couldn’t tell if he was sad or angry.  It was probably a mix of both. “I’ve been dealing with putting your ghost behind me for the better part of half a bloody year. And you’ve been holed up _here…._ in paradise!”

David clenched his jaw. He shouldn’t have said that. He knew it wasn’t true. But he was angry. And he said things he didn’t mean when he got angry.

Her jaw dropped at his comment and she wanted to give him a good shove him for that. Turning and walking closer to where he stood, she almost did. Instead, she glared at him. 

“Now who isn’t being fair, David?” She asked crossly. “This hasn’t been a picnic for me! I’ve worked my ass off to recover and get where I am today… I’ve spent hours doing physical therapy. Day after day of wondering what my life has become...wondering what you were doing and if you were okay” Looking around, she held her arms up. “I’m living at a bloody gorgeous Italian vineyard and I can’t have any wine!!” she yelled. 

Letting her arms drop by her side, she sighed defeatedly. “David, this wasn’t my choice. I had no say in the matter. You _know_ that.” 

“You couldn’t even find a way to let me know you were okay? An anonymous postcard? An unsigned letter? There had to be some way. Julia, you’re carrying my baby. I deserved to know!” 

Logically he knew it would have been risky for her to attempt to contact him, but he didn’t care. In this moment, he wanted to be angry. Angry at her for keeping so many secrets. Angry at the world for putting them in this position. But most of all angry at himself because if he had succeeded in his suicide attempt, he never would have known that Julia was okay. Or that they had created a child during their short time together. 

She softened at the mention of the baby. 

“I  _ wanted _ to tell you, David,” she reassured him. “If there were any way I thought I could have, I would have done it. But it was  _ so _ risky…” Her hands came to rest on her stomach in a protective gesture. 

“I never even thought I wanted a child until I found out about Baby Budd here,” she admitted. “I’ve spent the better part of my career being handed babies for photos and giving them back to their parents when they start to cry.” She let her shoulders sag, her anger turning to vulnerability. 

“What if I can’t be the mother she needs, David?” She finally asked after a long pause. 

He shook his head and reached for her hand, knowing in that moment that their argument had passed. “Don’t be daft, love. You’ll be a great mum,” he told her reassuringly as he pulled her into his arms, putting his lips to her forehead. 

“I felt the same way when I found out I was going to be a dad for the first time,” he confessed, trying to make her feel better. She curled into his embrace, relieved their first full-fledged fight seemed to be over. She knew they still had things to work out and conversations they needed to have, but those would come in time. She smiled, feeling his lips on her forehead and then on the crown of her head. 

“You’re sweet for trying to make me feel better, but you didn’t have to push something the size of a small pumpkin out of you when you became a dad.”

They both laughed and Julia looked at him with a smirk. 

“It’s true. She’ll be the size of a pumpkin. I already Googled it,” she said almost proudly and David shook his head. 

“Of course you did,” he replied dryly and dodged a swift shove to his shoulder just in time. He smirked and shrugged when he looked at her and they both burst out laughing. Yes, Julia was right.  _ God help him with two Montague women.  _

Julia yawned and as David glanced at the clock on her bedside table, his eyes widened.

“I think it’s my job as a responsible bodyguard to make sure Britain’s former Home Secretary gets her sleep, ma’am,” he teased, pretending to grow serious. “You’re sleeping for two now.”

Julia laughed and shrugged. “And what if the Home Secretary isn’t sleepy, Sargeant Budd?”’

She gave him a coy grin and David cleared his throat. Taking a step forward, she reached out and ran her fingers across his bare chest, taking in the sight of him in just his boxers. She wanted him. 

“Well, ma’am… I… um…” David couldn’t think when she was this close to him. How was it that he could be a trained military soldier, and as soon as she touched him all of his training went out the window? 

Julia just grinned, watching him squirm. Replacing the featherlight strokes of her fingers with her nails, she scraped them across his chest, watching as goosebumps danced over his body. She loved torturing him. 

“What’s wrong, Sargeant Budd? Cat got your tongue?”

As he wrapped his arms around her neck, David pulled her close to him, pressing his lips against hers insistently. Surprised by his suddenness, Julia let out a slight gasp that quickly turned into a moan. 

Julia had always been very take-charge in their relationship and David was happy to oblige her. It had been that way from the start and it was one of his favorite things about their relationship. She had power over him and she knew it. But that was about to change. 

Grinning mischievously, he seized his opportunity as he turned them so Julia’s back was to the bed. She was lost in his kiss and thought nothing of the move as his hands traveled to her lower back. Pushing her backward with the weight of his body until the back of her knees hit the footboard of the bed, she squealed as she fell backwards, pulling David with her. They both dissolved into a fit of giggles as he landed on top of her, resting his forehead against hers. 

Kissing her gently, he ran his hand along her face, pushing her hair out of the way. After a moment, he pulled away from her and leaned down, placing a kiss on her stomach, too. Laying his head there, she ran her fingers through his hair, closing her eyes.

Julia smiled. It may have taken them a while to get it right, and she knew they still had a long road ahead of them, but she couldn’t remember a time when she had been happier. 


	7. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Julia, nothing says this can’t be a normal childbirth for you,” he told her reaching across the desk to take her hand in his. She was now holding a hand with David and one with Lorenzo.  
> “When I met you, do you remember what I told you?” Lorenzo asked.  
> “That if I could survive a bomb, I could survive a baby,” she murmured. She remembered how his statement had made her laugh during that first meeting at the hospital. And she had desperately needed to laugh that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm thinking of adding a subtitle to this story so it's called A Million Miles to Go: The Softest Soft That Ever Softed. Because I love writing soft things for them and thinking that they bring that out in each other. But it's just who they are to me. And I love them for it. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay in writing but I hope this chapter makes it worth it. 
> 
> David and Julia have a moment in bed, Julia gets jealous, and then they go to her doctor's appointment to check on Baby Budd.

Sunlight flooded through the open window of the cottage and Julia groaned as she pulled her sheet over her head. For someone who used to get up at 5 a.m. ready to face the day head on, she sure was slacking off now. Reaching for David, she was surprised when her hand was met with empty space. Her body was sore and she felt an ache in her hip from her more _active_ lifestyle since David had found her in Tuscany five days ago.

The two of them had spent the days getting reacquainted with one another and reveling in being together again. Julia had finally confessed to David how she still struggled with pain from her hip almost daily and he had been so gentle with her ever since. Her heart would swell when he checked on her every morning when she woke up and every night before they went to bed together. Normally something like that would annoy her, the constant checking and rechecking, but it was obvious how much David cared, and she couldn’t help but enjoy the attention from the man she loved. Even on the days where they lazed around the cottage, listening to music and talking to one another, David would run his hands lightly along her body, offering massages to relax her and relieve the soreness she felt. With his hands on her body and him in her life again, she wondered how she could have ever imagined doing this without him.

David spent a small portion of each day knelt next to Julia, speaking to their baby and Julia melted every time. Sometimes he would lay his head on her stomach and whisper things Julia couldn’t hear, a sure foreshadowing of how close David and Baby Budd would be once he or she arrived.

Breathing through the pain radiating from her hip, she struggled to prop herself up on her elbow. She was nearing 21 weeks, and was grateful for passing the halfway mark, but growing weary of her belly that was continuing to grow every day. She knew she still had a long way to go and reminded herself to speak to Lorenzo about what they could do for her hip as Baby Budd continued to grow.

“David?” she called out, breathing a sigh of relief as he appeared in the doorway, holding a tray proudly.

“Aye, you’re awake,” he said cheerfully as he walked into the bedroom. Surely this had to be some sort of role reversal. She had rarely seen David this happy in the morning. As he sat the tray down in front of her, Julia looked at him, wrinkling her nose.

“ _You_ did this to me, now help me get up,” she said sighing and David smirked, extending his arm to help her sit up with a chuckle.

“Yes ma’am.”

“This looks lovely,” she finally told him as she took in the assortment of breakfast foods on the plate. “But David, I’m eating for two, not twelve…” she said with a laugh and David shrugged. “I didn’t know if you’d been having any cravings, so I just made a little bit of everything.” Leaning forward, he stole a piece of bacon off the tray before kissing her on the forehead, climbing back into the bed with her.

A short while later, the tray had been cleared from the bed and Julia sat snuggled in David’s arms. Running her fingers lightly over the lines of the tattoo on his bicep, she closed her eyes.

“I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, if you want to go with me,” she said, breaking the silence. David nodded.

“There’s nowhere else I would rather be.”

Moving his hands to her shoulders, he began to massage them gently and a quiet moan slipped from Julia’s lips. “Oh, that feels nice. You know, it really is hard work growing a human,” she said with a smirk.

“I’m sure it is, _ma’am_ ,” David agreed and Julia turned to face him, a quizzical look on her face.

“Do you still call me that out of habit?” she asked, her fingers moving to the scars that marked his side. The moment reminded her of their white sheet days at the Blackwood Hotel and she couldn’t help but smile.

David paused, thinking the question over.

“Not really habit, no,” he finally said. “It was kind of like an inside joke when we first got started, but I think it turned into something different along the way. It’s more a term of endearment for me. Do you mind it?”

She shook her head quickly. “No, of course not. It reminds me of when you first started working as my PPO, though... It drove me mad then,” she confessed and David chuckled. “But now, I love it…” she said with a smile, leaning toward him and pressing her lips softly against his.

What was meant to be a peck quickly became more passionate as David returned her kiss hungrily. Pulling her body against his, she wrapped her good leg around his waist, bringing him closer to her, and David’s tongue sought entrance to her mouth. His phone vibrated against the bedside table and David laughed when Julia jumped at the sudden noise letting out a slight yelp of surprise. She gave him a bashful grin.

“Just ignore it,” he whispered, leaning down to place feather light kisses on her neck. Julia closed her eyes, hoping the caller would give up, and groaned when the noise continued.

“You should get that,” she told him and he nodded. Untangling himself from Julia and leaning over, he picked up his phone, his favorite photo of the kids and Vicky glowing on the screen. Julia’s eyes followed his, glancing at the picture in surprise. He hesitated for a brief moment before answering.

“Hiya, Vick,” he said, putting the phone to his ear. “How are you? How are the kids?”

Julia sat frozen for a moment, unsure what to do. She had heard him speak to Vicky before, but they were quick phone calls in the car or in his hotel room, never when he had been in bed with her. Feeling both a little embarrassed and wanting to give David his privacy, Julia moved to get up but he reached for her hand, encouraging her to come back to bed. She shook her head, and he pulled on her arm slightly, motioning for her to join him again. He never lost track of his conversation with Vicky, which she could only hear one side of.

“That’s great news about Charlie. Can I speak to him? Oh. A sleepover? Okay, make sure you tell him I’m very proud of him.”

David wrapped his arm around Julia’s shoulders and pulled her closer to him in a reassuring movement. She looked up at him with a smile before laying her head on his chest.

“Tuscany is …. Well, it’s great,” he said, looking down at Julia. The long curls that he was still growing accustomed to covered her face and he pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear. He obviously couldn’t tell Vicky about Julia until they figured out a plan, but he did want to reassure her that things were going well.

“Thanks for encouraging me to come, Vicky,” he said seriously. She said something funny on the other side of the phone and David laughed. “About that… I don’t actually know when I’m coming home…” Looking down at Julia, he saw her face full of uncertainty. How badly he wanted to just take all those feelings away from her. He would happily put them on himself if he could.

“Okay, thanks for checking in. Yeah, give the kids my love. Talk soon.”

As he hung up, he placed his phone down on the bed next to them.

“Charlie’s gotten top marks on his latest spelling test. The best in his class,” David said proudly, and Julia smiled up at him.

“That’s wonderful news. I know you’re very proud.”

“I am. Thanks again for getting him into that school…” David said quietly, stroking her face. “If it wasn’t for you, well… a lot of things would be different.”

She smiled wordlessly at him, breaking their gaze, but David could tell she was distracted. Placing a finger under her chin and turning her head so she was looking at him again, he raised a brow.

“You okay, love?” he asked her. He knew they had so many things to discuss, but it seemed like every time he looked at her, he got lost in those gorgeous green eyes of hers. And then he was a goner.

She nodded softly, not saying anything. Then, after a few moments of silence. “Your wife is very pretty.”

She thought about the picture of Vicky with Ella and Charlie, remembering the day she had seen Vicky on the news with David. She had taken in the appearance of the woman on the television and felt the slightest twinge of jealousy. But it had passed quickly and she hadn’t thought about it much since then. _Bloody pregnancy hormones._

David’s eyes widened at her statement and he shook his head slowly.

“Is this a test?” he asked cautiously. “If I answer the right way, you’ll reward me and if I answer wrong … you’ll murder me?”

Julia laughed, rolling her eyes. “No! I had just never seen her before, but then I saw her on the news… and now on your phone…”

Her voice trailed off and David turned to look at her in surprise. This wasn’t very Julia-like at all. Hoping he was reading her mood correctly and that he wouldn’t get smacked, he pulled away slightly to look at her.

“Julia Elizabeth Montague… I’ve never seen you with a jealous streak before,” he teased, choosing his words carefully,  and she rolled her eyes before she started to laugh.

“I’m not jealous!” she protested a little too quickly and David smirked knowingly. “I just said she was pretty. That’s all. David, this baby and I are going to become a part of your family when they arrive. I’d like to get to know yours before that happens. And that includes Vicky.”

The wheels in David’s head were turning. He wasn’t opposed to Julia and Vicky meeting, but the circumstances surrounding that meeting could get a little messy. But he would love for the kids to get to spend some time with Julia before the baby came.

David was lost in thought when Julia waved a hand in front of his face.

“May I also remind you that we still need to talk about your little outburst from a few days ago,” she said and David sat up.

“What? When have did I have an outburst?!” he asked, trying to remember what she could be referencing.

“We never really talked about it, but the night you found me here, you thought I was pregnant with Lorenzo’s baby,” she said shaking her head. “You were ready to beat him to a pulp!” She reminded him. They had been through so much since then, it almost seemed like a lifetime ago.

“Well, I didn’t like the way he was looking at you,” David said softly, almost pouting. Julia couldn’t help but smile as she took in his appearance. She was sure at some point his kids had tried to pull that same expression to get what they wanted. It probably worked on him, too.

“David, Lorenzo is my doctor!” she stated. He felt his cheeks start to blush a soft shade of pink and she laughed at his discomfort. “He’s been really helpful through this whole process and is determined to help me have the easiest childbirth I can possibly have.”

“Aye. I...um, I didn’t know that…”

“Well, now you do. Plus,” she said beginning to laugh. “I’m not exactly Lorenzo’s … type.” Her tone was teasing and David’s brow furrowed.

“You kidding? You’re every man’s type!” David said, his confusion evident. Julia groaned.

“First of all, that was terrible,” she said covering her eyes in embarrassment. “Second, it doesn’t matter what type I am. Because I’m a woman. So, he’s not interested.”

David’s eyes widened and he began to blush profusely. “Oh… I get it now,” he said as Julia burst into laughter.

“My appointment is at two,” she told him matter-of-factly before getting up to get dressed.  


Slowly making their way down to the main house, Julia was grateful for a day of little pain. She was giving David a brief tour of the vineyard when he stopped, reaching for her hand. Bringing it to his lips, he kissed her knuckles softly and she felt her heart melt a little bit.

“What was that for?” She asked, moved by his gesture.

“Because I love you,” he said matter-of-factly. “And because I can’t believe that I’m here with you. When I thought I had lost you…” he trailed off and Julia reached for him, pulling him into an embrace.

“But you didn’t lose me,” she reminded him. “In fact, you found more of me than you probably bargained for,” she said chuckling as her hand went to her stomach and his gaze followed hers.

David grinned. “Aye. But I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he said, reassuring her as they began to walk again, his arm wrapped around her waist.

“Neither would I,” she echoed.  


Julia was chatting quietly with Rosita in the business office that Sal had transformed into a sort of doctor’s suite when she had come to live at the vineyard. Both of them looked up when Lorenzo entered the room. Taking Julia’s hand, Rosita smiled warmly, wishing her and David the best with her appointment before turning and leaving the room.

“Emilia,” he said warmly, reaching for her hand to shake it, and Julia wrinkled her nose. “There’s not much point, Lorenzo. I think it’s safe to say you can call me Julia again,” she told him with a chuckle. His gaze went to David, who was standing in close proximity to Julia with his hand on her lower back possessively, and smiled, recognizing him from the vineyard. He extended his hand.

“Lorenzo Carmichael,” he said politely and David eyed him for a minute before shaking his hand. “David Budd,” he said quietly.

“Nice to meet you, David,” Lorenzo said.

Julia watched the exchange between the men, silently analyzing David’s behavior. She smiled, finally speaking up when an awkward silence presented itself in the room.

“David will be staying for my appointment, Lorenzo. He’s my…” she paused, looking at David. She still didn’t know what their “title” was and she was starting to feel a little annoyed about it, honestly. “He’s the baby’s father,” she finally settled on.

The words felt strange in her mouth, almost a minimization of what she and David truly were. But she didn’t know how to put that into words for anyone. David remained silent.

“Ah, I see. Well, congratulations, David! Do you have any other children?” Lorenzo asked and David nodded.

“Two,” he said, his lips turning up into a smile as he spoke of his children. Julia watched his face and her smile widened. Every time he got started talking about his children, she felt like she got to see a different side of David. She couldn’t wait to see him with their baby. Her heart skipped a beat just thinking about it.

“Ella, who is 11. And Charlie who will be 9 in a couple of months.”

“So you’re an old pro at this,” Lorenzo said with a chuckle and David laughed.

“Aye. I don’t know that I would go that far,” he said and Julia let out a short laugh in response.

Lorenzo nodded. “Well, we’ll do your examination, Julia, to check and make sure everything is progressing the way that it should. Then I want to take a few minutes to discuss your birth plan and a few other things.”

Julia nodded. Reaching for David’s hand, she smiled brightly at him. Now that David was here with her and able to attend her doctor’s appointments, it was all beginning to feel very real.

If she was honest with herself, the idea of arranging a birth plan terrified her. She didn’t know anything about having a baby, labor-wise or what to do for the next 18 years after that. David must have sensed her apprehension as he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

As she changed into a gown, her eyes met David’s, who gave her a bright smile.

Lorenzo pulled an ultrasound machine into the room and made a few notes on Julia’s chart. “Just a reminder that this gel will be cold,” he warned and Julia nodded, pulling her gown up to rest under her chest, a blanket covering her lap.

David’s gaze drifted from her face to her stomach and he felt himself getting emotional as he looked at the small bump there. Julia still wasn’t showing much, and he imagined what it would be like when she finally did. Pregnant with his baby. He still couldn’t believe it. It had been so long since Vicky had been pregnant with Ella and because he had been overseas for most of her pregnancy with Charlie, he felt like it was the first time all over again.

Lorenzo squirted the gel onto Julia’s stomach and she let out a little squeal that made everyone in the room chuckle. David ran his hand up and down Julia’s arm when he saw goosebumps appear there and knelt down next to her, waiting for the image to appear on the screen eagerly. Pressing a few buttons on a keyboard, Lorenzo ran the paddle over Julia’s stomach and a soft thumping noise filled the room.

Julia closed her eyes, a smile spreading over her lips at the sound. David clutched her hand tightly as the heartbeat echoed throughout the room. Laying there, she was reminded of her first ultrasound she’d had at the hospital in Rome after she found out she was pregnant.

_“Okay, Ms. Montague,” Lorenzo said with a soft reassuring smile as he entered her room and Julia shook her head. “We’re going to go ahead and get started with your ultrasound…”_

_“Please, call me Julia,” she corrected him, her apprehension apparent._

_“Okay,_ Julia _. I just want to tell you a little bit about what’s going to happen here,” her doctor said, sitting next to her hospital bed. He started telling her all about what the process was for an ultrasound but she wasn’t hearing a word of it._

_Julia felt so incredibly weak, but her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. Pregnant. She couldn’t believe it. She and David had been stupid the first couple of times and she knew it. But it’s not like she was planning on having sex with her PPO that first night._

_They had both been so vulnerable after that tragic day at Thornton Circus. She had hesitated before she called him, knowing she was toeing the line very closely to overstepping any professional boundaries she had with Sargeant Budd. But she desperately needed to be with someone who knew what she was feeling. The one surviving person who had been there with her._

_She had called him, half hoping he wouldn’t answer, but when she heard his voice on the other end of the phone, she had felt an immense sense of relief wash over her. She asked if he could come to the Blackwood Hotel, and he quickly agreed. Julia paced the room nervously, trying to find something to do while she waited for his arrival. The TV had been on for two minutes before she shut it off with a huff, the reminder of today’s attempt on her life far too fresh to see it played out on the television screen._

_When Sargeant Budd arrived, she had finally settled in with a cup of tea, still anxious and unsure what to do with her hands._

_They had talked briefly about the attack. About her not being allowed back in her home. And if he thought she was still in danger._

_Getting to her feet, she busied herself to stop the tremors that had started to course through her at the memory. She couldn’t stop shaking and it scared her to know she was losing control._

_When Anne Sampson’s name came up, she suddenly felt her fear turn to anger. And when David defended her and the SO15, she snapped._

_“I was being shot at!” she cried out, rounding to look at him. She could hear her own screams from that afternoon echoing in her head and the sound of bullets hitting the car. In her haste, she knocked over a glass and jumped slightly at the sudden sound. Turning back to look at the tray, she fumbled with the tumbler, setting it upright as the two glasses clinked together._

_“Ma’am, why don’t you sit down and let me take care of this?” His voice was even and he stepped toward her, his hand hovering slightly above hers but not touching her._

_She said nothing in response, only turning for her eyes to meet his. She hadn’t had him this close before and she desperately needed to touch him. She remembered the feel of his hand in hers during the car attack and how she had felt reassured and safe, despite the rain of bullets hitting the armored plating._

_“I’m not the queen,” she finally said, her words coming out barely more than a whisper. Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears, but she continued. “You’re allowed to touch me.”_

_Technically, she reasoned to herself, he probably wasn’t actually allowed to touch her unless it came to her safety. She was his employer, and he her personal protection officer. Any unprofessional touching would be strictly frowned upon by any of those imbeciles in charge, really. But right now, the last thing she cared about was technicalities. When he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her to his chest tightly. She was torn between feeling like she could finally breathe again and feeling her breath catch in her throat at the feel of his touch._

_Throwing caution to the wind, Julia had taken his bottom lip into her own and was kissing him. He responded eagerly and she had the slightest hint of a smile. Screw protocol and professionality, she wanted him. And he wanted her._

_“Ms. Montague? Julia? Julia?” Dr. Carmichael calling her name had brought her back to the present as the Blackwood Hotel was transformed into a drab, fluorescent hospital room. She saw the doctor staring at her nervously._

_“Oh, I’m sorry Dr. Carmichael. My mind was somewhere else,” she explained halfheartedly._

_“Lorenzo,” he told her with a smile that set her nerves at ease. “I am Lorenzo, and you are Julia.” His kindness almost brought Julia to tears. She hated pregnancy hormones already._

_“What I was saying is that because you’re a little farther along than most first time ultrasounds, we should be able to see your baby well on the screen,” Lorenzo told her. “Emilia here is going to get you prepared,” he said, indicating the blonde nurse Julia had seen caring for her many times since she had woken up. “And then we’ll take a look at your baby.”_

_“You can call me Mila,” the nurse told her warmly, reaching out and squeezing her hand. Julia resisted the urge to cry at her kindness. Again._

_A few minutes later, with her hospital gown pushed up above her stomach, a soft whirring noise filled the room and Julia gasped._

_“That’s…. the heartbeat?” she asked, Emilia and Lorenzo both smiling_ _at her._

_“It is. And that’s your baby,” he told her, turning a screen toward her. “You’re about 11 weeks along at this point, so he or she is as big as a lime.” A lime. She looked at the small blob on the screen and the tears finally came as she thought of David and the pain he must be in right now. How she wished she could reach out to him and stop it all._

_Dr. Carmichael wiped the gel from her stomach and then exited the room shortly after. She frowned. She couldn’t believe she was carrying David’s baby. But as she sat alone in her hospital room, surrounded by doctors and nurses, and with a baby lime growing inside of her, she had never felt more alone._

_“Oh, David…” she whispered, before closing her eyes and falling into a restless sleep, wondering if she would ever see the man she loved again._

Julia didn’t even realize she was crying until David reached across and tenderly wiped a tear from her face as it made its way down her cheek.

“You alright, love?” he whispered softly, and she turned to look at him, placing her hand over his.

“Just thinking of a different time,” she offered, not really wanting to get into an explanation right now. “But don’t worry, we’re perfect now that you’re here…” she told him softly, her lips returning to a smile as he leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. David clasped her hand tightly in his, his heart feeling so full.

Lorenzo watched the two for a moment, taking in Julia’s expression. In the time since he had met her only a few weeks ago, he had watched as she’d worked so diligently to get back to her old self. He knew she struggled physically from time to time, but looking at her now, he would have never known she’d been through any of that.

“You’re measuring at about 21 weeks now,” Lorenzo told her, making another note on her chart. “That means Baby Budd is about the size of a pomegranate.”

David turned to look at the doctor. “What? I thought she was a mango?”

Lorenzo laughed. “I see Julia has given you her penchant of fruit names for the baby,” he said, giving Julia a knowing smile. “19 weeks is roughly the size of a mango, 20 weeks becomes a banana and then a pomegranate. The baby is somewhere in between the two.”

David shook his head, turning to look at Julia. “I’m still going to call her Mango,” he told her dryly. Julia laughed and looked at Lorenzo with a smirk before turning her attention back to David. “Whatever you want, darling.” David nodded, looking like he was mulling it over in his head.

“ _Her?_ David, you know Julia hasn’t found out if the baby is a boy or a girl…” Lorenzo said, looking between the two of them as Julia wiped the gel from her stomach with a towel.

“No, that’s true,” she responded. “But I think it’s a girl. I feel like she’s a girl.”

“Do you want to know for sure?” Lorenzo asked and David nodded quickly.

“Yes!” he blurted before she could say anything in response. All three of them laughed at his enthusiasm and Julia shrugged. “You heard him.”

Lorenzo smiled, turning back to the computer. He zoomed in on the photo on the screen and his smile widened.

“Looks like your intuition was correct, Julia. Baby Budd is in fact a girl.” He turned to the couple. “I’ll leave the room so you can get dressed and return in just a few minutes. We’ve got some things we need to discuss,” he said before getting to his feet and walking outside.

As Julia sat up slowly, she had a quick intake of breath as a sharp pain radiated in her hip. She grimaced and David noticed.

“Julia?” He asked, worriedly, his hand automatically going to her arm.

“It’s my hip again,” she told him with a sigh. “But let’s not worry about that now… A little girl,” she said softly, trying to change the subject and she nodded matter-of-factly. “I thought she was. I’m glad she was.”

Helping her stand up slowly so she could change, David leaned forward, placing a kiss on her shoulder.

“I love you and this little girl more than I can say,” he told her and her eyes softened at his declaration. She really was so lucky.

“And we love you,” she told him in return as she leaned forward to kiss him.

Pulling away, she grew serious. “You’re know you’re not calling her bloody Mango, right?” she asked, shaking her head.

David just grinned in response and she was about to say something else when there was a knock at the door.

“Come in!” she called as she finished buttoning her tunic.

Lorenzo entered the room, motioning for Julia and David to sit as he took a seat behind an opulent desk in the corner. Sal really had spared no expense for this doctor’s office.

“Now, Julia, obviously there are some _unconventional_ things to consider when thinking about your birth plan,” Lorenzo said, eyeing David and Julia. He watched as David reached for Julia’s hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. Julia made eye contact with David, and he gave her a reassuring smile.

“David and I have discussed that over the last couple of days,” she told him and she smiled as she felt David squeeze her hand. “I think we just want to keep things low-key with the baby,” she said softly, looking at David, who nodded in agreement.

“We’d like to keep it small. The three of us and maybe a midwife at the hospital?” David suggested. ”We’d have to assume some sort of identity for Julia while she’s there…” She smiled. He was always thinking of her safety and well-being. Some things truly never changed.

Julia considered this for a moment. “I agree with the small staff. I want it just to be the three or four of us,” she told Lorenzo. “But having to adopt a whole secret birth plan sounds stressful… While I would like to think we could count on the local hospital for their discretion…” her voice trailed off and she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. There was much more to this planning than she realized. And her role as Britain’s former Home Secretary didn’t help matters. Neither did the fact she was supposed to be dead.

Looking up things on the Internet last night, Julia had quickly become overwhelmed with all of the suggestions and advice and birth plans she found. She didn’t realize it would be this complicated. David found her sitting with her head resting in her hands on the kitchen table, her laptop open with three or four different windows open in three browsers. They had a brief discussion about some of the more likely options before David had escorted her to bed and tucked her in for the night. When they finally managed to make it out of bed the next morning, he had written out notes about each of the methods she had researched and left them for her on the kitchen table.

David felt a sort-of out-of-body experience as he listened to the discussion. He still couldn’t believe that he and Julia were having a baby. But Lorenzo was right, putting all of these plans into place made it seem real. When he and Julia had talked briefly about when she gave birth, he told her that he would support her in whatever she chose for her plan. He could tell she was feeling overwhelmed and he just wanted it to be as simple as possible for her. She had already been through so much in the last couple of months.

“What about a home birth?” Lorenzo said after a minute and Julia turned her attention to look at him curiously. “You’ve made a home for yourself here in Tuscany at Tenuta Torciano and now that David is here with you… you might be more comfortable if you had your baby there.”

Julia turned to look at David and found his gaze already on her. “I read some things about home births, but I never thought… what do you think?” she asked.

In response, he turned to Lorenzo. “Is it safe?” Julia tried hard not to smirk. Bodyguard-turned- father was sure to be an interesting transition for David.

“People do it all the time,” he reassured them. “I think it’s an idea worth pursuing. You do some reading up on it and see if it’s something you’re comfortable with. We can always discuss any questions you have at your next appointment in a few weeks.”

Julia nodded. “Thank you, Lorenzo.” She tried to read his mood, picking up on his hesitation. Italians didn’t hide their feelings well.

“But? What is it?”

Lorenzo folded his hands in front of him and sighed. “Julia, this is the part that isn’t fun. We need to discuss the risks involved with you giving birth….” he told her and David paled.

“Risks? What kind of risks?” he asked quickly, looking from Lorenzo to Julia then back to the doctor.

“Obviously, there are risks associated with any pregnancy, but there are a few things in particular we need to discuss about yours, Julia.” He opened her chart again. “First, there is your age. You are classified as having a geriatric pregnancy. Now, this is the least of my concerns as woman over 35 have babies all the time and it’s perfectly safe.”

“I’m old and I’m pregnant, I know,” she scoffed, turning to look at David. “I swear, David, if you say one word…” she warned and he raised his hands in a motion of surrender. The two of them laughed.

Lorenzo watched the way Julia became more expressive when she was around David and he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face. The two of them were obviously good for each other and he was relieved to see that Julia finally seemed excited about her pregnancy.

“The most prevalent concern right now is your healing,” Lorenzo said, growing serious. “I’ve spoken at length with your doctors and they are pleased to see your progress. However, because of your hip, there are certain things we’ll need to consider.”

“What kind of things?” David asked quickly, speaking for the first time since the discussion started. Reaching over, he ran his hand up and down Julia’s leg softly. Her hand rested over his. It was more of a comfort to himself than anything, she knew that, but still she admired it.

“Well, for instance, I think a water birth is ideal,” he told them and Julia nodded. “The added pressure on your hip from giving birth laying flat isn’t wise, but we can explore some of our options there. A lot of this will be trial and error while you’re in labor.”

Julia’s eyes widened and she turned to look at David, growing a little nervous. “I, um, okay…” She stammered. She hated not being in control, but she knew with this little one, there was no way she could be.

“We’re probably looking at doing a natural birth,” He said and David grimaced. Vicky had wanted to try that with Ella, but had ended up getting an epidural at the last possible moment. He made a mental note not to mention that to Julia.

“Natural birth… meaning…?” she asked, feeling rather daft, and Lorenzo flashed her a reassuring smile. “It means you probably won’t be able to receive an epidural. Not being able to feel your hip during labor could make you injure it worse and set back your recovery.”

“Oh, _great,_ ” Julia replied sarcastically. She wasn’t sure if she was dreading a natural birth or if she actually felt relieved. She _hated_ needles.

“There are other things we’ll want to watch carefully to make sure there’s nothing you develop later in your pregnancy,” the man told her somewhat vaguely. He didn’t see the use in worrying her now when everything seemed normal up until this point. Julia said nothing and the two men could both see those walls being built up around her. The signs of defeat were already weighing her down.

“Julia, nothing says this can’t be a normal childbirth for you,” he told her reaching across the desk to take her hand in his. She was now holding a hand with David and one with Lorenzo. She couldn’t ignore the thought that the she was one of three people in this room who would be responsible for bringing her daughter into the world.

“When I met you, do you remember what I told you?” He asked.

“That if I could survive a bomb, I could survive a baby,” she murmured. She remembered how his statement had made her laugh during that first meeting at the hospital. And she had desperately needed to laugh that day.

David watched the two of them banter back and forth. He was glad Julia had found someone she was comfortable with and it made him feel more at ease seeing her relax with Lorenzo as he explained everything to her.

“I think that’s it for now,” Lorenzo said, releasing her hand. “The next time you come in, we’ll discuss your midwife selection and that whole process.”

As David got up, he offered his hand to Julia as she slowly rose from the chair, obviously having some serious pain in her hip. She winced, crying out slightly, and Lorenzo turned to David.

“Can I give you, Julia, and baby pomegranate a lift back to your cottage?” he asked and David nodded.

“We would appreciate that. But remember, she’s a Mango,” he said dryly and Julia rolled her eyes.

“Only 19 more weeks of this, huh?”


	8. Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re married. You have other children. And here I am, hiding out in another country carrying my Police Sargeant’s baby… I don’t know what we are, or how to refer to us, and I just feel so bloody unsure of everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Julia has a lot of conflicting thoughts; David wants to make her feel better; Baby Mango Budd gets a name. 
> 
> The song in this chapter is One Second and A Million Miles to Go from The Bridges of Madison County musical. It’s the musical this story is named after and is really, really beautiful. 
> 
> To my master editors and favorite first-readers, V and Linn, you guys are the best. Thanks for all the encouragement always.

Watching Julia as she entered the cottage, David turned to Lorenzo, double-checking to make sure she was already inside.

“Listen, do you really think everything is going to be okay with the baby?” Lorenzo saw the worry written all over David’s face and he had to hand it to the man - he had held it together surprisingly well in front of Julia. But now that they were alone, he could see the panic in his eyes and he rested his hand on David’s arm. 

“Everything is fine, David,” he told the man, trying to reassure him. “We’ll take good care of Julia and the baby ... Mango.” 

David laughed. 

“How long do you think I can get away with that?” he asked Lorenzo with a smirk and the man shook his head. 

“Before Julia murders you? Not much longer.”

David glanced over his shoulder, his grin fading slightly. “I better go check on her, mate.”

He paused. 

“Julia really likes having you as her doctor, you know… Thank you.” Turning, he made his way to the cottage, closing the door behind him. 

The house was quiet, and he started to grow worried. 

“Julia?” He called out as he walked through the house. He finally found her in the living room, staring off into the distance. The lights were off and she was laying on the couch, clutching a throw pillow to her chest. Her eyes were closed, but he could see the way she fidgeted with the ruffle of the pillowcase. He knew she was in pain, physically and emotionally, and he wished he knew how to help her.

Going to her side, he knelt next to her. “What is it, love? Talk to me…”

She said nothing and David frowned. He hated when she retreated into herself like this. He had seen it a handful of times before the explosion, most notably the day after the attack at Thornton Circus.

Getting up, David left the room and Julia turned her head slightly to watch him go.  _ Great. Now I’ve messed this up, too.  _

David returned a few moments later, offering his hand to Julia wordlessly. 

Looking up at him, she took his hand, wincing as she lifted herself to a sitting position, the pain in her hip making itself apparent again. It didn’t go unnoticed by David. 

Leading her down the hall, he entered the bathroom. The room was dark with the exception of a few candles that David had lit. Soft notes of music coming from his phone echoed around the room, as it rested against the wall next to the clawfoot tub, which was filled to the brim with bubbles. Julia took in the room before turning to look at him, the tears already beginning to fall. 

“David…” she began, and he shushed her, putting a finger to her lips gently. 

“You’ve had a very long day, love.” As he spoke, he began undoing the buttons on her tunic, pushing the material off her shoulders and letting it drop to the floor. “I just want you to be able to relax.” 

Closing her eyes, she gave him a tired smile as he continued to undress her. When he was finished, he took her hand again, raising it to his lips and leaving a kiss on her palm. Helping her into the bathtub, he watched her as she sank slowly below the bubbles.

Turning, he changed the music on his phone with a smile as she closed her eyes and relaxed against the edge of the tub. 

Hearing the cello starting in one of her favorite guilty pleasure musicals, “The Bridges of Madison County,” she opened her eyes and looked at him, the corners of her lips turning up into a bright smile. 

“How did you know?” she asked him, feeling both surprised and pleased, sure she had never mentioned this particular show to him. 

“I heard it playing in your room at the Blackwood once,” he admitted, sitting his phone down again and returning to the tub. “I couldn’t really hear the words, all I could hear was you humming,” he admitted. “I stopped to listen and when I caught the words to one of the songs, I looked it up…” 

She smiled at his confession as the strings from the song faded into silence before a new one began. 

“I listened to it a lot when I thought you were ...  _ gone _ ,” he told her, kneeling next to the bathtub. “It really is a miserable show, Julia,” he said, wrinkling his nose and she scoffed. 

“It’s beautiful!” she protested. 

“You are.” His words were quiet but caused Julia to blush slightly as she looked down at the bubbles surrounding her. 

“David…” she said shyly, meeting his gaze almost bashfully. She laughed softly, rolling her eyes. He smiled at her, chuckling as he leaned his head against the edge of the bathtub, staring at her as she closed her eyes again. 

“Love, talk to me…” he said softly after a minute. There was no response. David watched the rise and fall of her chest and found himself enamored by her. He was so busy staring at her belly that just slightly poked out of the water that he hadn’t noticed she had opened her eyes again. 

_ For the first time in my life _

_ I am not outside the moment _

_ With a camera in between me and the world _

_ I think I know. _

“This is my fault,” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes again. David looked at her worriedly, frowning. 

“What’s your fault?” he asked, not sure what she could mean. 

“It’s my fault that we’re in this mess. That our little girl is in this mess.” Her voice caught in her throat and David felt his heart seize painfully.

Her voice was broken and she couldn’t look at him. David shook his head quickly, he grabbed her hand from where it floated beside her, weightless in the bubbles. His fingers interlaced with hers, and he shook his head, again, adamantly. 

“What do you mean?” he asked, not following her admission. “The baby is fine. Lorenzo said so himself.” 

With his other hand, he began tracing circles along the top of her belly. Something he had discovered lately comforted her. Julia watched as his hand slowly dipped beneath the hot water to lay a palm flat against the curve of her stomach. She felt a smile tug at her lips briefly, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

_ For the first time in my life _

_ I am somehow part of something. _

_ You surround me, you connect me _

_ And I think I can't let go. _

“I feel so guilty, David…” she finally said after a long moment, looking away from him. “I’ve put our baby through so much in her short life already.”

He listened, not saying anything as she spoke. This was the release she had been needing. All the things she needed to say but hadn’t been able to bring herself to voice out loud. 

“I don’t want you to think that when I say this, it means I love you any less, because I love you so incredibly much.” The words were tumbling out now and David touched her face gently, running his fingers over her features. 

“Slow down, my love,” he whispered. “We’re here together. And we have all the time in the world.”

_ For the first time in my life _

_ You have opened up a channel _

_ There is nothing to contain us _

_ We are joined, and we are free. _

Julia took a deep breath, nodding at his reassuring look. “It’s just that… we created this baby out of something that was never supposed to happen.” 

Her words were low, and she struggled to figure out if she was expressing herself correctly. She didn’t want David to be hurt by her concerns about the baby; her admissions. She paused, picking her words carefully. 

“You were my PPO and I was your principal, until suddenly we weren’t…” she explained. “We were more.” In the back of her mind, she wondered where the cool, confident Julia Montague she had known for so long had gone. Because this wasn’t the woman she knew. 

“Julia, it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to put yourself out there. This is me you’re talking to ...  _ ma’am. _ ” He emphasized the last word and Julia released a small chuckle. He was trying so hard to make her feel better. 

“Now, come on, tell me,” he encouraged.

_ For the first time in my life _

_ I am risking something precious. _

_ I am asking you, Francesca: _

_ Come with me. _

“I love this baby very much,” she told him, her hand coming to rest over his on her swollen stomach. “Just as much as I love you. But she was created out of an affair, David.” 

Her words stung slightly as David took them in, but he couldn’t argue with her. She wasn’t wrong. 

“You’re married. You have other children. And here I am, hiding out in another country carrying my Police Sargeant’s baby… I don’t know what we are, or how to refer to us, and I just feel so bloody unsure of everything.”

_ I can't tell you I know what the future will be. _

_ Who knows anything? _

_ I just look at those eyes; you've got so much to see. _

_ Let me show you there's _

_ Crowds and camels and hillsides to climb. _

David frowned, feeling guilty he hadn’t known she felt this way. “Why didn’t you say something before now?” 

She shrugged, growing quiet. “I’ve had a lot of time to think. And think. And then think some more. I’m just not sure about much of anything these days. My hormones are all over the place. I’ve  _ never _ cried this much. It’s actually really annoying.” 

David softened. He remembered Vicky’s hormones during her pregnancy. She had been so up and down, he was never quite sure what he could say or  do. 

“You can be sure of me,” he told her. “You can be sure that I love you and that we’re going to be a very happy family.”

_ All I know is, in all of the time _

_ From man's first breath _

_ To God's last warning _

_ You and I are just one second _

“Someone tried to kill me! Twice!” She cried out, sitting up straight and looking at David. Running a hand through her damp hair, she took a deep breath. “Our baby could have died… and it would have been my fault.”

For the first time, the realization really hit her and Julia was stunned into silence. She had spent the last four months so focused on how she and her baby would start their secret life together, that she hadn’t taken the time to think about what could have happened. How things might have been so different. 

“I never allowed myself to really think about it,” she admitted, after a moment. “I thought if I didn’t talk about it, it would just go away.”

David was silent, letting her come to terms with her realization. He’d had the same moments of clarity in his therapy sessions with Dr. Evans. His eyes didn’t leave her face as he trailed his fingers up and down her arm in the water. 

Looking down at her hands, she frowned, avoiding his gaze.

“I always prided myself on helping people... I did the right things and made the hard choices… But none of that matters anymore. I just want our little girl to be okay. And I’m scared that she won’t be. And all because of the foolish mistakes I’ve made.”

Taking a deep breath, she shook her head, still unable to look at him. 

“Maybe you should just go,” the words were quiet and David had to strain to hear her. Surely he couldn’t have heard her right. 

She regretted the words as soon as she uttered them, but it was too late correct herself. She didn’t want him to leave, of course, not really. But she didn’t want to make his life any more complicated either. And if her life was anything, it was complicated.

_ Spinning by in one split-second. _

_ You and I have just one second _

_ And a million miles to go. _

David put a finger under her chin, raising her head to look at him. 

“I won’t let you push me away, love,” he said seriously. He touched his thumb to her lips and watched as the tiniest smile appeared.

Not knowing what else to say to her, he got to his feet. Julia was surprised to see that he was actually leaving. But instead of heading toward the door, he removed his shoes and stepped into the tub, fully clothed. 

Julia burst into a fit of laughter as he sank down across from her and he grinned proudly.

“Have you  _ actually _ lost your mind?” She asked and he shrugged. 

“Well, I know I’m crazy about you.”

They both wrinkled their noses at the cheesiness of the line. 

“Sorry,” he said, chuckling.

_ I don't need to be rich, I don't need something new. _

_ I don't want to go back to a world without this. _

_ All I need, all I've needed my whole life was you. _

_ If I left this behind… _

Water splashed over the edge of the tub as David pulled Julia toward him, maneuvering them so that he was sitting behind her. She sat between his outstretched legs and his arms wrapped around her as she leaned against him. 

“I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore,” she admitted into the quiet room, the notes of the song filling the silence. 

He hugged her gently to his chest and kissed the crown of her head. 

_ Please just look at me: _

_ You were born with a wanderer's soul. _

_ This is how you begin to be whole. _

_ The stars keep burning _

_ Worlds keep turning  _

“You are Julia Montague. Strong, stubborn, and beautiful. You’re Britain’s former Home Secretary, who took down a corrupt government, Tory politics aside,” he added with a grimace and Julia let out a laugh.

“You are Julia Elizabeth Montague, the love of my life and mother to Baby Mango Budd, our precious little girl.” 

“David!” Julia whined, her eyes popping open. “You have to stop calling her Mango!” 

He smirked.

“Of course, love,” he said after a minute and she sighed. 

The water in the tub was starting to grow tepid and David felt her shiver under his touch.

“Okay, let’s get you out of here,” he said softly and she laughed.

“That sounds much easier than it actually is…” she mumbled under her breath as she slowly got to her feet, feeling the stubborn pull in her hip as she got out of the tub, putting on the robe David had placed by the edge for her.

Hearing the dripping of water, she turned to look at him, bursting into laughter. There was water pouring off of his soaked clothes as he stood in the middle of the tub.

“You look bloody ridiculous, you know that, don’t you?” she asked with a smirk.

David arched a brow. “Oh?” he said with a sly smile. And Julia raised her hands in front of her in a defensive measure. 

“Don’t you dare…” she warned and David grinned as he slowly stepped out of the tub, making slow movements toward her.

“David....” her tone was lower this time as she took a step back. Before she could say anything else, he had grabbed her and pulled her body into his. She let out a squeal as the excess water dripping off of him soaked through the thin material of her robe.

Leaning his forehead against hers, he kissed her softly and she let out a breathy sigh, wrapping her arms around his neck as she deepened the kiss, her fingers coming to rest in the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I love you…” he whispered against her lips, pulling away slightly. 

“I love you, too,” she said, smiling brightly. It was amazing what a world of difference a romantic bubble bath and baring your soul could do. She already felt better. “Now, let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” she said, eyeing the puddle on the bathroom floor at David’s feet. “And _ I  _ have to find something else to wear now!” she said pointedly, her fake anger turning into a giggle. 

_ And you and I are just one second _

_ Spinning by in just one second _

_ You and I have just one second _

_ And a million miles to go. _

 

Standing in front of her closet as David made dinner, Julia sighed. Nothing fit her like it used to anymore. Finally settling on a pair of David’s favorite sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt, she got dressed before making her way into the kitchen. 

“Smells good, darling,” she said, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek as he placed two plates of spaghetti at the table.

Sitting down across from him, she reached for his hand, grasping it in her own. 

“Thank you for letting me have my own little pity party earlier,” she said, her eyes meeting his across the table and he nodded.

“I’ve learned in therapy how important it is to get your feelings out into the open,” he said softly. “I’m not the best at it, but it’s something I’m working on.”

Julia felt a tug at her heart hearing him talk about therapy and her lips turned into a smile. She squeezed his hand a little tighter. He had mentioned to her that therapy had been going well before his trip to Italy. She hadn’t mentioned it to him, but she had definitely noticed a change in David since he showed up in Tuscany. She wondered if this was her glimpse at pre-war veteran David Budd. 

David eyed her, noticing a considerable difference. When she ran her thumb over his hand, he felt a smile tug at his lips. He vowed then and there to do whatever it would take to make Julia happy. 

“So, now that we know Mang -” he stopped himself. “Now that we know we’re having a little girl, should we start figuring out what we’re going to name her?”

“Call her that one more time, and you’re sleeping on the couch tonight,” Julia warned before taking a bite of pasta. 

“But love, just sitting on that couch is uncomfortable…” he said, chuckling, and she shrugged. He was right. 

“I know.”

“Well... you said you felt like she was a girl. Have you been thinking of names?” He asked curiously before taking a bite of his dinner. 

Julia nodded. “Naming a person is a daunting task… But actually, I have been thinking about it…” she said, smiling. “How do you feel about the name Emilia?” 

“Your code name? Is that wise?” he asked in surprise, and Julia shrugged. 

“It wasn’t really a code name. More like just an alias… But I really grew to love it. It was a name I picked because of someone I met in Rome.” 

David thought about it for a minute. “Emilia,” he repeated out loud. “Aye. I like it. Tell me about her.”

“There was a young woman -- a nurse, who was there with me in the hospital when I woke up,” she told him, thinking back to the blonde that was sitting by her bedside when she came to. “Her name was Emilia -- Mila -- she was a great help during my recovery.”

David was relieved to hear that someone had been there for her while she was dealing with her injuries from the blast, although he personally couldn’t help but feel a sense of guilt over not having been there for her. 

“If I had known…”

Julia shook her head. 

“I won’t hear it,” she said softly, reassuring him. “You didn’t know. You had no way to. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.

“While I was in the hospital, my doctors wanted me to stay focused on my recovery. Every time I asked about current events, about who else had been injured in the blast … they changed the subject. It was exhausting. So finally, I stopped asking. One day, I was in my room and Mila smuggled in a newspaper so I could catch up.”

David smirked.

“Always a rule breaker, ma’am,” he said and she laughed.

“I know, I know. But I went from knowing everything about what was happening in Britain to knowing nothing. And it was driving me crazy. So Mila would sneak in news when she could. We grew rather close, actually. It was nice to have someone to talk to about something other than my medical condition.”

“Eventually, she got relocated,” Julia said sadly. “She came to tell me goodbye when she changed jobs, and I was released shortly after that. Then Sal took me in here.”

“Emila,” he repeated. “I like it.”

“I think I would have liked to meet this Mila,” David said after a minute, taking in Julia’s sad expression. 

“I don’t know even where she ended up… but I would love to be able to thank her properly. Maybe I should look into that. I’ll have to ask Lorenzo about it,” she said more to herself than to David.

“How are you feeling, love?” he asked after a few minutes of silence. 

“Much better,” she said with a smile, looking over the rim of her glass as she took a sip. “Thanks to you, of course.” Getting to her feet, she took David’s now empty plate in one hand and hers in the other. Taking them over to the sink, she noticed that the pain she had felt in her hip earlier had mostly faded. 

“Let’s go out and get some fresh air,” David suggested, walking over to her and taking her hand, leading her outdoors. 

They settled into chairs on the terrace, their hands still linked together. David raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. She let out a relaxed sigh and closed her eyes, listening to the sound of birds chirping as the sun started to set behind the hills. 

Her eyes popped open when she felt a small movement in her stomach. 

“Oof!”

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she nodded.“I think I just felt Emilia kick!” she said excitedly, squeezing David’s hand. He sat up, leaning over the arm of his chair as she pulled his hand to her stomach, resting it there.

They both waited expectantly and were soon rewarded with a swift kick from her lower stomach.  

“That’s amazing,” Julia said breathlessly. “I’ve never… Wow.” She had felt her moving before, but it mostly felt like the fluttering of butterflies. This was the first time she had felt a definitive movement, and as she looked at David, who was leaning over, deep in discussion with her stomach, she felt the tears begin to well in her eyes again.  _ Damn hormones. _

“Emilia what?” she asked and David looked up at her. 

“Aye?”

“Well, we picked a first name… but we haven’t decide on anything else.”

David was quiet for a long time.

“I’ve been thinking about that…” he began, somewhat vaguely. “You know… her first name is so significant, it might be nice to have a middle name that is symbolic, too. What would you think if we used Kimberly?”

Julia softened at the idea.  _ Kim.  _ She couldn’t believe they had lost Kim in the blast at St. Matthews. When she had found out, she remembered feeling her heart break. PC Kimberly Knowles had been on her security team for a long time. One of the first people she met after becoming home secretary, she didn’t know her that well personally, but she still couldn’t believe she was gone. First Terry, and then Kim.  _ All because of her.  _

David watched her internal debate. “Julia?” he asked gently. He could tell she was a million miles away. “I know what you’re thinking…” he reassured her. “Kim knew the risks that came along with her job and she did it anyway. She knew there was a chance that something could happen… I think if she had it to do all over again, she would.” 

“Look at this as our way of honoring her…” he said, rubbing his thumb across her hand and Julia smiled. 

“No, you’re right. That’s brilliant.”

Bringing both hands to cradle her stomach, Julia felt her mood lift. 

“Emilia Kimberly Montague-Budd…” she whispered and David grinned. They hadn’t discussed what the last name of the baby would be, but as David thought about it, he thought Montague-Budd seemed especially fitting. It was the perfect representation of them both and the characteristics their little girl would inherit from each of her parents. The trademark Montague stubbornness and beauty from her mother, and her resourcefulness and street smarts from him.

“That’s a big name for a little girl, love.”

“It is, but she’s a little girl who is going to do very big things,” she said proudly. “I can already feel it.”


	9. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They were having me spy on you.” The confession was quiet and Julia felt like the air had been knocked out of her lungs. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth and shut it several times, saying nothing. 
> 
> “Spying … on me...” she finally said breathlessly. David wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement and he went to move toward her. “Julia, I didn’t want to, they --” Her icy glare stopped him in his tracks. 
> 
> “Don’t come near me,” she said lowly, narrowing her eyes as she got to her feet. “That’s what you were doing the whole time? Spying on me? Was that before or after you jumped into bed with me, David?”

Julia rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she rolled over, turning to look at David, who was still asleep next to her. His back was to her and she could hear the soft snores coming from his lips. She smiled softly as she glanced over at the clock on the bedside table. It was early and the sun was just beginning to rise. 

Stretching slightly, she scooted her body closer to him so that her stomach pressed into his back. Pressing her lips together, she tried to suppress a giggle as she ran her fingernails lightly over David’s side, watching as he twitched softly in his sleep in response. 

In that moment, she was transported back to the mornings and nights she had spent with him in her hotel suite, and it seemed like no time had passed at all. Watching him settle back into sleep, Julia let out a contented sigh. She couldn’t imagine him not being here with her like this. She knew they would need to discuss their future and make plans soon, but she knew she could handle anything as long as he was by her side. 

The irony wasn’t lost on her that she felt safest when she was with David. After all, that was what he had been hired for. Looking back, she realized that she never could have braced herself for meeting David Budd.

_ It had seemed like any other day as Kim had opened her car door as she arrived at the Home Office. She had a morning full of rigid meetings and boring conference calls and she was steeling herself for whatever might come from the day.  _

_ “Ma’am,” Kim said in greeting. Julia gave her a polite smile.  _

_ “Kim,” she said in response. She liked P.C. Knowles, and respected her greatly, but her mind was already on her ever growing to-do list of what she had to accomplish today.  _

_ “Ma’am. This is P.S. Budd, the new PPI.”  _

_ Julia had only a moment to cover her surprise as her gaze flicked from Kim to the handsome stranger in front of her. She had been told she would be getting a new personal protection officer, but she was expecting someone older … and slightly less appealing to the eye. Taking in his appearance, she regarded the icy blue eyes that were appraising her in a similar fashion. Yes, he was going to be strict. She could tell. _

_ “Pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” he said with a brogue Scottish accent. He offered his hand to her in greeting and Julia took it in her own. Before she could say anything in response, he continued. “I was wondering if we could discuss you using the underground entrance from now on?” _

_ And the spell was broken. _

_ Julia said nothing for a moment, noticing with both a mild sense of ire and interest that his hand was still in hers. _

_ “I’m late for a meeting,” she said curtly, letting go and turning to walk into the building.  _

_ Behind her, she heard Chanel say something to David, and she rolled her eyes. She was getting so tired of that daft girl. She made a note to speak to Rob MacDonald about her before the day was up. _

_ As they walked through the glass doors, she resisted the urge to glance over her shoulder at P.S. Budd. But as they stood by the elevators, waiting for the doors to open, she knew she was in trouble. She already couldn’t get his beface out of her head.  _

Reminding herself to thank whatever it was in the universe that had brought David to her later, she returned to her mission. Bringing her lips to his back, she traced a path down his shoulder blade, leaving open-mouthed kisses in her wake. 

David groaned as he felt her lips against his skin and his eyes opened in surprise. 

“Good morning to you too,  _ Ms. Montague _ ,” he told her, turning to face her as he gave her a knowing grin. 

“Good morning, P.S. Budd,” she told him, pulling his body closer to hers as she pressed her lips hard against his. 

“And what exactly did I do to deserve this sort of … wake-up call?” He asked, arching a brow as they pulled apart, both breathing a bit harder. 

“I was just thinking about how far we’ve come since your first day as my PPO.”

“Aye. We have,” David whispered, his hand coming to rest on Julia’s stomach and they both smiled. Leaning over, he placed a kiss there, speaking softly to the baby. 

“Good morning, Emilia Kimberly Montague-Budd,” he whispered, and Julia’s heart swelled as she watched him. Reaching down, she ran her fingers through David’s hair, pausing at the gray streak at the front of his right temple. She had noticed it before, but hadn’t thought to mention it. Now, she decided to tease him a bit. Grinning widely, her eyes met his mischievously.

“This is new…er,” she said softly, stroking the hair back from his face. David chuckled. “I think I’m beginning to prematurely age,” he said, shaking his head and Julia scoffed at the man lying next to her. 

“Yes, that’s you. David Budd, going gray at 32.” She laughed at the cross expression that settled on his face. “I like it... And I think it’s  _ very _ sexy, my love.” 

He looked up her with a smile and she rested a hand on his face. “Plus, it makes me feel younger to see you going gray and not me!” she added quickly with a giggle. 

David rolled his eyes and chuckled at her silly mood.

“Are you hungry, love?” he asked her and Julia thought about it for a minute.

“I am, actually…” she replied, and David made a move to get out of the bed. This was their new routine. Breakfast in bed was a luxury Julia had never had time to enjoy before when she was acting home secretary, but now, David spoiled her with it every morning. 

Reaching for his arm, she stopped him, pulling him back into the sheets with her. His brows furrowed in confusion as his gaze moved to her coy smile.

“That’s not what I meant,” she whispered. “Breakfast can wait.”

Her words were soft and David’s eyes darkened at her implication. His uncertainty turned into a smirk as he leaned forward, nuzzling his nose against hers. She met his lips with her own, grinning against his mouth. She giggled as his hands wandered over her body, one finally landing on her lower back, the other tangling in her loose curls. 

Pulling away, he grinned at her wordlessly as he began a trail of kisses that began at her cheek. She let out a satisfied hum, enjoying the way his lips felt against her skin. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation as her hands came to rest on his muscular shoulders, her nails digging lightly into him as he began to move his attention elsewhere. Making a trail to her ear and then down her neck, David’s nose came to nestle in her hair. Leaning over her and pushing her lightly down onto the bed, he breathed in her scent. Lavender and what might have been oatmeal. He felt a small wave of sadness unexpectedly and pulled away. 

“Do you ever miss your life as Lavender?” he asked, staring down at her. 

Julia’s eyes popped open and she looked up at him in surprise. “Do we have to talk about this  _ now _ , David?” she asked, biting her bottom lip. Her face was flushed and she stared at him, her eyes hooded. Taking in her appearance, David shook his head quickly. “No, it can wait.”  

Placing one arm on each side of her head, he hovered above her, his face only centimeters apart from her own. Their eyes locked in an intense gaze and Julia reached for him, pulling him down so his weight was on top of her and his lips met hers in a passionate kiss. 

The stubble on his chin scratched her face and she sucked in a breath against his lips at the rough sensation. She moaned softly as his tongue slipped into her mouth, searching for hers. David pulled away after a moment, reaching for the hem of her sleep shirt as he pulled it up over her head.

Looking down at her naked form, David swallowed hard. Her pregnancy was slowly beginning to change her body and he took in its effects unabashedly. Julia said nothing at his inspection, leaning up somewhat proudly, although a little difficultly, on both her elbows. She had never been shy with him. It was one of the things he loved most about her. 

“I love you.” The words were soft, but intense, and he felt his heart constrict. 

“I love you, too, Julia,” he responded proudly. It was truer than anything else he had ever known. And in that moment, he didn’t think he could possibly love her more. 

 

 

After making love, Julia snuggled into David’s embrace, resting her head on his chest as he leaned against the headboard. His arm was wrapped around her shoulders, holding her close to him and his eyes were just beginning to drift closed when she spoke. 

“I do, you know…” she said, angling herself so she was looking up at David, her body pressed close against his side. “Miss that life, I mean.” She had been thinking about his question from earlier as she laid there against his chest, listening to his heart beat. “But I also love this life, and I wouldn’t change that for anything.” 

She moved her fingers over his chest, her nails tangling in the dark hair there as they scraped against his skin lightly. 

“In that other world, our relationship would be frowned upon,” she reasoned. “We would always be the home secretary and her married bodyguard that slept together… Throw in Emilia, and there would be headlines for days and weeks and months to come.”

David nodded but said nothing, thinking of the headlines that had come after Julia was “killed” after the bombing. There had been so many pictures of her face staring back at him from newstands wherever he went as he walked the streets of London in confusion and shock after hearing the news. He had been surprised to see photos of himself on some of the covers near her. It was an unnerving feeling. 

“Did the headlines ever get to you?” He asked curiously, and Julia was thoughtful for a moment. 

“I tried hard not to let them. But I’m only human. I took the job of Home Secretary to help people. I wanted the job of Prime Minister to _ help _ people. But you can only deal with so much for so long. Being in the spotlight is always a hard place to be.”

Thinking back to the cold and somewhat calculated Julia he thought he had known when he first started working for her, he never would have imagined getting to see this side of her. The side that let down her defenses and laid it all bare for him, both literally and figuratively. He was still amazed by the woman lying next to him. 

“When the news broke that Roger and I were divorcing, the media began to circle like vultures,” Julia said quietly as David looked on in surprise. They had only spoken in generic terms about her marriage and her ex-husband before. There were never any details or stories exchanged, and he had always wondered about what happened. But he knew she would tell him when she felt the time was right. 

Julia’s face was downcast as she fiddled with the edge of the sheet that covered their naked bodies. “The headlines almost did me in then,” she admitted. “The number of people that blamed me and my career for how our marriage dissolved stung. They knew all the details. Or at least, they thought they did. Even my own mother threw the tabloids in my face… Roger and I never should have been married in the first place. It was a marriage of convenience, at best. I mean, I liked the man, but we were never truly compatible. He wanted me to be something I wasn’t and it wore me down every single day. Until finally, I’d had enough. I swore I would never settle for ‘good enough’ from that point on.” 

“And would you ever consider giving it a go again?” David finally asked after a long moment of silence. “Getting married, I mean.”

Julia’s eyes met his and she thought about it for a minute. She had always thought her immediate answer to a question like that would be no. And then she had met David. And now she found herself hesitating.

“I think if the situation were right… I would consider it,” she said seriously. Then the corners of her lips turned up into a smile as she scrunched her nose. “Are you dropping hints, Mr. Budd?” David laughed. 

“Okay, enough of that,” he said, changing the subject and Julia smirked knowingly. “I’ve had an idea, and I wanted to see what you thought of it.”

“Tell me.” She leaned her head against his chest again, allowing her eyes to shut for a moment. It was only mid-morning and David had driven her to the brink of exhaustion. Although she guessed that was probably her fault, really. She smiled at the thought.

“Well, I know you mentioned wanting to get to know the kids before Emilia arrives… what would you think if we invited Vicky and the children to come visit? I know we would have to work out a logistics plan and make sure it’s safe, but I think it could be a very good idea for all of us.”

Julia didn’t say anything for a long time and David wondered if she had fallen asleep again. He could feel her breath, hot against his chest. 

“I think that’s a brilliant  idea,” she finally said and David breathed a sigh of relief. “I’d love to meet your children. And your --” she stopped. “Vicky,” she finally settled on. 

David reached a hand down to her face, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear as he kissed her temple.

“It’s all settled then. I’ll call and make all of the arrangements.”

“Do you… do you think they’ll like me?” she asked in a small, child-like voice.

“They’ll love you. I promise.” David hesitated, starting to say something then stopped, and Julia looked up at him curiously. She could tell there was something else on his mind. 

“David?” she asked, moving to sit up against the headboard, wrapping the sheet loosely around her body.

He shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts of the future. “It’s nothing, Julia,” he said, trying to reassure her. She reached out, touching his hand, her thumb coming to rest on his palm, rubbing it lightly. 

“Come on, talk to me,” she whispered softly, ducking her head so her eyes met his. 

“When I call Vicky … before I mention her bringing the kids here …” He was staring at her now and Julia could clearly see the confusion in his gaze. “She’s going to want to know when I’m coming home, Julia … to London. Have you thought about that?” 

Julia was surprised it had taken David this long to bring up the subject. In the back of her mind, she had been having the same thoughts, but speaking them out loud made them too real. Saying it out loud meant they had to discuss the future, and what that looked like for them. 

“Of course I’ve thought about it,” she snapped, slightly irritated, then immediately softened when she saw his face. “Sorry, I just … I don’t know, David… When I first came to Tuscany, I had been told this was my life. This was where I was going to raise our daughter and make a new start for the two of us. One without the divisive politics and the terror attacks and threats…”

She ran her palm across stomach as she spoke, her eyes resting on the small bump that was beginning to become more obvious with each passing day. 

“Tuscany was going to be good for us,” she finally said. “Well, as good as it could be without you here,” she added. “But now that you  _ are  _ here… I’m not sure where we should be. You have a family in London, David.”

“I have a family in Tuscany, too,” David reminded her and Julia looked up at him with a bright smile at the sentiment.  _ A family _ . Her smile faded almost as quickly as it had appeared. 

“I don’t know that I can go back to London…” she said thoughtfully. 

“Hmm?” 

“Well, with the kompromat being leaked…” she turned to look at him again. “I saw that Vosler had resigned… I’m assuming you gave it to, well … someone, once you found it?” she asked and David hesitated for a moment. This wasn’t a conversation he was sure he was ready to have. But he had known it would happen sooner or later. Part of him had hoped for later.

“The Death Star was a nice touch,” he offered with a chuckle and Julia smiled proudly.

“I’d hoped you’d pick up on that…” she murmured. “Who  _ did _ you give the kompromat to, David?”

He frowned. Moving from the bed, he pulled on a pair of boxers and tossed an old shirt of his to Julia who caught it, but made no move to put it on. 

“You should put that on,” he said after a minute. “Don’t want you catching a cold.”

“David…” Julia’s voice was stern, and he knew the expression he would be facing when he turned to look at her. She might not have been the Home Secretary anymore, but Julia was still a very stern woman. 

“I gave it to Anne Sampson,” he said, biting his lower lip before turning and suddenly leaving the room. Julia watched in confusion, waiting for him to return. When he didn’t, she slipped the shirt over her head, put on a pair of shorts and padded into the kitchen. David had busied himself with making breakfast and Julia watched him as she perched on a bar stool on the other side of the counter.

Every second that passed in silence made Julia angrier.

“Anne Sampson,” she repeated. David was unsure if it was a question or a statement. So he said nothing. “You gave Anne Sampson the  _ literal _ fucking key to Number 10, David?” She tried to keep her growing attitude at bay, but could hear the edge in her own voice as she spoke. 

He turned to look at her for a moment, his jaw clenched tightly, before turning back to the stove.

“Anne Sampson,” Julia said her name again, still processing the information as it swirled around in her head. “The same woman who held back the ARVs from entering the square at Thornton Circus because she would love to see me dead...” 

She scoffed. “I guess she got her wish, didn’t she? Got the Home Secretary  _ out of the way _ . Oh, David, how could you?” David didn’t miss the tone of accusation in her voice and he bit the inside of his cheek so hard he thought he might draw blood.

“I thought you were dead,” he said evenly, not even turning to look at her as he continued to work at the stove. “I didn’t know who I could trust, Julia. I was reeling from losing you. I was determined to find out who had  _ murdered _ you… when I found the kompromat, I knew that was the answer. It was going to put all the pieces together and catch your  _ killer _ .”

Neither of them spoke for a long while and another charged silence filled the kitchen. 

As he placed a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of her, Julia could tell that David was angry, though he tried not to show it. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. She felt a gnawing in the pit of her stomach, but the last thing she wanted to do was eat right now. The past week with David in Tuscany had been a dream, but they had both been avoiding the important things they needed to discuss. 

_ I guess the honeymoon phase is finally over,  _ Julia thought to herself looking down at the plate before turning her attention back to David, who was focused on making a large cup of coffee for himself. 

“I understand you thought I was dead, David… but to give her that much  _ power _ over everyone….”

“She already had power over everyone!” David cried out, whirling around to face her and Julia’s jaw dropped open slightly in surprise. “Anne Sampson was out to get all of us … you included. I just wanted to get her off my back.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, David regretted them. None of this was happening the way it should. He didn’t even know why they were fighting to begin with and now here they were, at the conversation that could make or break their future together. 

Julia’s eyes narrowed as she stared at David. “Off your back?” she repeated. “What did Anne have on you?”

_ Fuck. _

Turning back to the coffee pot, David squeezed his eyes shut tightly, willing himself to remain calm. His heart was beating out of his chest, and it was so loud he was sure Julia could hear it, too. 

“Sargeant…”

Her tone was authoritative and it reminded him of the way she spoke to remind others of her ranking.  _ A power move. _ He was amused how quickly she seemed to slip in and out of that old persona of hers. The use of his title would have made him chuckle if it weren’t for the situation at hand and he turned to face her, swallowing hard. 

“I didn’t want to do it, I swear, but she and Craddock --”

Julia held her hand up to stop him. “Just bloody say it. What did you do?” 

“Do you remember when Craddock put me in the adjoining room at the Blackwood? After Thornton Circus?” he asked and Julia nodded quickly. 

“Of course I do. How else would we have ended up here?” She wanted to laugh, but looking at the agony that was evident on his face, she thought better of it. 

“It was easy to say they put me there for security reasons… for me to be closer to keep you safe…” David said, avoiding her stare. He thought over his next words carefully, weighing what he should and shouldn’t say. He felt like he was going to be sick.

“But?” Julia felt the gnawing turning to dread in her stomach. She didn’t like the direction this conversation was going. Or the way David was acting. 

His eyes finally met hers and she chewed on her bottom lip nervously as she waited for the metaphorical bomb to drop. 

“I gave the kompromat to Anne … because I needed her to leave me alone. She and Craddock had been blackmailing me.” 

“Blackmailing,” Julia repeated, her eyebrows raising in surprise. “What could they possibly have been --”

“They were having me spy on you.” The confession was quiet and Julia felt like the air had been knocked out of her lungs. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth and shut it several times, saying nothing.

“Spying … on me...” she finally said breathlessly. David wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement and he went to move toward her. “Julia, I didn’t want to, they --” Her icy glare stopped him in his tracks. 

“Don’t come near me,” she said lowly, narrowing her eyes as she got to her feet. “That’s what you were doing the whole time?  _ Spying _ on me? Was that before or after you jumped into bed with me, David?”

She moved further away from him, her expression unreadable. Turning her back to him, she digested this new information and willed herself to not cry. 

“No. It wasn’t like that,” David protested, moving toward her again. Hearing his footsteps behind her, she whirled around to look at him, her hand coming to rest on her good hip.

“Oh? What was it like then? You want to tell me how you fucked me and then fucked me over at the same time?” 

David’s eyes narrowed as he looked at her.  _ Why wouldn’t she hear his side of this?  _

“ _ Julia.  _ Listen to me!” he cried out, his voice raising as he grew frustrated. He could have sworn he saw her eyes flash in anger and he swallowed hard. 

“ _ You _ listen to  _ me _ , David. I trusted you with my  _ life,”  _ her voice dropped an octave as she felt herself getting emotional. “I brought you into my world. I opened up to you… like I haven’t with anyone in a very long time.” There were tears pooling in her eyes as she blinked them back rapidly. “Was this just a game for you? The whole thing?” 

David shook his head quickly. “No! No. You have to hear me out, Julia. It wasn’t like that. At all.”

She crossed her arms over her chest defensively and David sighed, running his palm over his face in frustration. 

“You have to believe me… When they told me that was my assignment, I told them no. I didn’t want to do it.” David closed his eyes, wishing this conversation would all just be a bad dream and he would wake up with Julia wrapped in his arms as they dozed together in bed. 

“When did it happen? When did it start?” she finally asked, her arms still resting on her chest. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest waiting for his answer.

“After Thornton Circus…” he said breathlessly, knowing it would only enrage her further. “I went in to meet with Lorraine and Anne was there … they were worried about your secret meetings with Stephen Hunter-Dunn. Anne, in particular. She wanted to know why she was being kept out of the loop.”

Julia pursed her lips. “And did you do it? You said you didn’t  _ want  _ to do it, but did you actually spy on me?”

David reached for her arm, hoping if he could just touch her that he could get through to her and make her see that he regretted what he had done. But that he had never actually betrayed her in the way she thought he had.

She gave him a warning look as she glanced down at his hand that hovered in the air between them. 

“I listened in on your meetings with Stephen and with Richard Longcross, yeah,” he finally said, his hand dropping to his side. “Julia, I’m sor--” She cut him off before he could say the word.

“And did you find out what you wanted to know?” she asked coldly, her eyes boring into his. “Were you able to report back to your bosses with all of your information?” 

“I listened, but I never told them what they wanted to know,” he said, giving her a half-hearted shrug and she glared at him. “They threatened my family…” he whispered. “I didn’t know what else to do. Ella and Charlie had already been through so much… They played on my emotions for my children. I don’t regret doing what I had to do to protect them.”

“You should have told me.” Her voice was quiet and David could tell she was truly hurt. Not just angry with him. He had betrayed her trust. He kicked himself for letting this ever happen. But he wasn’t about to back down, either. He wasn’t the only guilty party here.

“Like you told me about all of your secrets?” he replied, arching a brow. “I was so damn worried about what you were getting yourself into, Julia. That you were in over your head and that you were going to get hurt… I begged you to let me in. To tell me what was going on. And you wouldn’t. I guess I’m the only one who is supposed to share things here?” 

His tone was even, but his words stung nonetheless. Julia said nothing in response.

“Why couldn’t you just let me in, Julia? That was all I wanted… For you to feel like I was there, and for me to feel like you wanted me to be.” He shook his head. “You’re not blameless in all of this, you know. You said you trusted me, but you sure made it fucking hard for me to bloody trust you.”

Julia shook her head a tiny bit and sighed.

“What was I supposed to tell you? That I was taking down a corrupt government? That I was going after the most powerful man in Britain and risking my own life to do it?” She paused, biting her bottom lip. “That I was planning to run for prime minister when he fell? No. I couldn’t tell you any of that.”

“You could have told me all of it,” he told her matter-of-factly. “You once told me that I was the  _ only _ person you trusted. Before I took you to Chequers to face off with the PM… Did you mean that? Or were those just words to get me to do your bidding,  _ ma’am _ ?” 

This time, the ‘ma’am’ wasn’t a term of endearment. David tried hard to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but knew it hadn’t worked when he saw her expression harden.

“How dare you accuse me of that after what you did!” she retorted. “I trusted you then, and I thought I could trust you now. But I’m not so sure of that anymore.” 

Julia turned, intent on walking away. She couldn’t even look at him. She gasped as she felt movement in her stomach again and a smile crept across her face briefly despite her sour mood, as she brought her hand to her rib where she had felt the kick. 

“You alright?” She wasn’t looking at David when he said the words, but she could hear the concern in his voice. 

“Yes. It’s Emilia, she just wanted to get a word in,” Julia said softening as she turned to look at David again, her palm flat against her expanding stomach. 

David hesitated only for a moment, then stepped forward. “Can I?” he finally asked, raising his palm into the air between them again. He fully expected her to reject him. 

She eyed him for a moment and then nodded, stepping closer to him as he reached for her. Kneeling down, David rested his hands on her stomach, placing them around where hers were. Not taking his eyes off Julia’s stomach, he waited patiently, moving his hands slowly across the taut skin there. 

They didn’t have to wait long before another swift kick came and Julia sucked in a breath. Looking down at David, she felt her anger give way to a sadness she hadn’t felt in the weeks since he had found her in Tuscany. 

“We’re about to have a baby,” she said after a minute. David looked at her, startled by the sound of her voice. He had lost himself in the idea of Emilia. “We’re bringing a child into this bloody mess of a world. And I don’t know how I can ever trust you again.”

It was David’s turn to fight the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him as Julia spoke of their child growing inside her.

“Julia, let me prove to you how much I love you. And how much I love our daughter… please.” Raising himself up, he wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head on her stomach. 

It was a familiar gesture. And one that Julia adored under regular circumstances. But now he just seemed too close and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. Stepping out of his embrace, she sighed. 

“I’m … going to go for a walk,” she said after a minute and David frowned. He thought about offering to go with her, but knew how quickly she would shut him down. No, it was better to give her space. 

Standing to his full height, he watched her as she headed toward the kitchen door. 

“What about your breakfast?” he asked and Julia glanced back at him over her shoulder. “No thank you. I don’t want it.” Her eyes went from him to the plate and back to his handsome face. Giving him a sad look, she turned and left the cottage, heading up a path that led to another part of the property.  

  
  



	10. Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”I got assigned to protect you, and I was fully prepared to hate the Right Honorable Home Secretary Julia Montague.”
> 
> David gave her a guilty look and she couldn’t help but chuckle.
> 
> “And did you hate her?” she said lowly, growing serious. Julia wasn’t sure she even wanted to hear the answer. She knew her reputation. She knew what pundits said about her in the media and on the evening news. Frigid. Divisive. Other words that weren’t headline friendly.

It was nearing noon and Julia still hadn’t returned from her walk. David was beginning to grow more anxious by the minute, his mind filling with all the possible ‘what ifs’ of everything that could have possibly gone wrong. What if someone had found her? Or if something had happened to her and the baby? When she had been gone for an hour, David finally called Sal in a panic.

“Sal, have you seen Julia? She left a while ago on a walk and hasn’t come back.”

“Julia? No, I haven’t seen her. I’m sorry.” David heard him say something in Italian in the background before he returned to the line. “Rosita hasn’t seen her either. David, is everything alright?”

“No. It’s not,” David said, rubbing a palm over his face. Glancing out the window, he hoped he would see her coming up the walkway and this nightmare would be over. “I told her something … a sort of confession … that she didn’t like. We argued and she left angry.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, David.” Sal reassured him. “Rosita and I will keep an eye out, and if we see Julia, we’ll let her know you’re looking for her.”

“Thank you, Sal. I’ll let you know when I hear from her.”

  
  


Rosita climbed the hill toward the grotto that overlooked the property. She had found Julia there so many times during her first few months at the vineyard that she had lost count. If she had needed to go somewhere to think, Rosita was sure she would find her there.

Rounding the corner, the woman breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Julia sitting on a bench, her eyes closed as she leaned back against the rock wall. Watching her for a moment, Rosita noticed the way the sunlight shined on Julia’s face, illuminating a soft halo around her. She looked the best she had looked since she arrived at Tenuta Torciano, though Rosita could see the way her shoulders sagged as she sat there. She looked as though she were carrying the weight of the world.

Clearing her throat, Rosita shuffled her feet against the rocks, not wanting to scare the unsuspecting woman. 

Julia’s eyes opened quickly at the sudden sound and as her eyes met Rosita’s, she offered her a tentative smile. As she got closer, Rosita could see that she had been crying. 

Moving to her side, the woman reached for Julia’s hand. 

“Oh, Julia,  _ cara _ … what’s happened?” she asked with a strong Italian accent that made Julia feel warm inside.

_ Cara. Dear.  _ The term of endearment slipped beautifully from her lips; Italian was such a musical language.

Julia was silent as she fiddled with the hem of David’s old shirt.

“You’re upset,” Rosita continued. “Why don’t we go down to the main house and have some cake and tea?” 

Julia started to protest and Rosita shook her head. 

“No, no arguments. Emilia wants cake. A little pasticcino won’t hurt,” she said with a wise grin, offering her hand to Julia who took it as the woman helped her to her feet. As they walked down the path to the house, Julia began to tell her about what had happened.   
  


 

A half hour later, there was a knock on the door and David rushed to answer it, finding Sal on the other side. 

“Sal, I didn’t mean for you to come... “ David said in surprise. “I was just worried… I didn’t know who else to call.”

Sal shook his head, entering the house as David moved aside. 

“Nonsense.”

“She still isn’t back yet and I’m beginning to think something happened to her.”

“David...David, slow down. Let us sit.” The two men moved to the living room, David sitting on the couch, as Sal sat across from him. David began anxiously pulling at a loose thread from the arm rest.

“David,” He took a deep breath. “We found her.”

His eyes shot up, widening, “Where?” He stood then, “Oh my God, where is she? Is she okay?”

Sal held his hands up, “It’s alright, David.  _ Julia _ is alright. Rosita found her up at the grotto. She is just fine.”

David released a sigh of relief. “Well, where is she? Why hasn’t she come back?”

Sal stood in front of him now, guiding him to sit on the couch again. “Rosi took her to the main house for tea. They are chatting …. about whatever happened between you two this morning, I’m sure.”

David clenched his jaw, “Oh. So she can talk to Rosita about this, but not...not her own….,” he cut himself off. He wasn’t her husband…. or her boyfriend.. Was he? She didn’t belong to him or anyone for that matter, but he knew she didn’t owe him anything. Especially after the blow he had just dealt to her.

“You have to remember that all of  _ this _ ,” Sal motioned around the cottage, “and you being here, has all happened very quickly. She loves having you here. She’s  _ happy _ having you here, but I think she’s just having a bit of trouble adjusting.”

David hung his head in defeat. He nodded, “I know...it’s just…”

“She was preparing for a life here on her own with her baby. She was planning to be in hiding forever. And then you showed up, and I think she hasn’t gotten the chance to truly process everything. Add in whatever it is you’re arguing about….”

David’s head shot up, “She hasn’t told you?”

Sal shook his head, “No. She’s only spoken to Rosi. All I know is that you confessed something to her, which is what you told me on the phone, and that she’s been gone for the better part of the morning. After Rosita found her, she sent me a message so that I could let you know that she was okay. But I don’t know any more details than that.”

David nodded, “I appreciate that. Not that I would mind you knowing,” he added, quickly.

“I know.”

“You and Dr. Carmichael are really her only friends here.... Are she and Rosita close?”

“Ehh...somewhat. I think they’ve had a few conversations on occasion when Rosita has been at the clinic. But I do think Julia needs another woman around. Especially with everything she’s going through right now.”

David sighed, “I know. Truthfully, I don’t even think she had many female friends back home. People weren’t kind to her when she became the Home Secretary.”

“She’s told me.” David looked at him and Sal continued. “We  _ are _ old friends, you know. And when she was first out of the hospital, she had a lot to talk about; having been in a coma for two months.”

“What’d you talk about?”

“Her job. Her life. And you, of course. But I think the details are better left between the two of us, unless Julia decides otherwise, but….I will tell you that she told me all about how much she loved you and how sad she was that you would never get to meet your child.”

  
  


“Julia,  _ cara _ , don’t you think you’re overreacting just a bit?” Rosita asked softly as she poured her another cup of tea. There was no accusation in her voice, only concern, and it was obvious she had grown to care for the woman sitting across from her on the veranda. 

Julia frowned at her words, her fingers idly toying with the teacup in front of her as she reflected on Rosita’s question. 

She had told Rosita some of the details of David’s confession, leaving out the parts about her actually working in secret with the security service. That was something she didn’t care to have spread around, even if it was just among Rosita and Sal. 

Instead, she had focused on telling Rosita about the betrayal she felt knowing David had kept a large secret from her and that he had willingly spied on her.  _ Well, maybe not willingly. But he still did it,  _ she reasoned.

“Probably,” she said after a long moment. “I’ve always had a strong temper, but ever since I got pregnant...” she ran a hand gently down her stomach, unable to hide the small smile that crossed her features. “Well, my hormones have been all over the place.” She looked helplessly at Rosita who gave her a knowing grin.

“That’s….come si dice….?”

Julia raised her eyebrows, “Not surprising?”

Rosita chuckled, “No. No, I was going to say that happens to every woman when they are pregnant. Babies make mothers emotional. It never stops.”

“Wonderful,” Julia said flatly.

The Italian woman shook her head, “I just mean once your Emilia has arrived, things will never be the same. You will worry all the time. But the love you feel for her will be like nothing you’ve ever felt before.”

Julia sighed. She had always heard that in movies and from a few of her old college friends that she ran into from time to time. It seemed like such a sappy sentiment. One she wasn’t sure she had ever fully bought until now.

“From what you’ve told me, Julia, David did what he had to do to protect his family, his children,” Rosita reminded her. “Think of how much you love that little girl, and that’s how much David loves his children, too…”

Julia bit at her bottom lip, thinking about Rosita’s words. One of the things she had always loved most about David was his love for his children. He lit up when he talked about them. He loved telling her stories about the silly things they had done when he spent time with them, or the things they had said to him as he tucked them in at night. She knew her love for Emilia would only grow after she was born, and the thought of someone threatening her in any way… she would do whatever she had to do to protect her. Regardless of the cost.

“I think it is worth you talking to your.... amore ...your David,” Rosita said, breaking Julia from her thoughts. “In the coming months, you are going to need him more than ever. And you don’t want to be fighting with him still when such a beautiful gift enters your life.”

“My David…” Julia repeated the words softly, taking a sip of her tea. She knew Rosita was right. She had been foolish to run away the way that she had. No matter what happened between them in the past, or in the future, she and David had a child together. 

She didn’t realize she had let out a heavy sigh until she looked up at Rosita, who was watching her closely. 

“Do you think you can forgive him?”

Julia shrugged, blowing softly to cool the warm liquid and taking another sip. She used the time to try to gather her thoughts. Rosita’s question seemed like a loaded one. 

“I….I know I should, but it’s going to take time. He was really the only person in my life that I trusted. And to know that he betrayed me...,” she shook her head, “How am I ever supposed to let that go?”

“No one's saying you have to forget what happened, cara mia. But it would be good for your  _ heart _ to forgive him.”

“But how?”

Rosita shrugged, “That is something only you can answer.” They were both silent for a moment, each woman lost in her own thoughts.

“Take some time to reflect on everything that has happened in your life,” Rosita finally said and Julia choked back an ironic laugh. Rosita continued. “How have you changed? Can you imagine your life without David in it?”

She paused and Julia found herself shaking her head without even truly realizing she was doing it. She had to imagine life without David once before. It wasn’t something she was willing to try again. 

Placing her tea cup down, Rosita reached for her hands, taking them in her own and squeezing them tightly. 

“Whatever it is that he did... I know he hurt you, but…I have seen you two together and you can’t deny that you are  _ anima gemellas _ .” 

“We’re … what?”

“Twin souls…. penso che tu dica …in English, it means soulmates.”

Julia sucked in a breath, looking away from Rosita. She’d always thought people believing in soulmates was daft, but the Italians really had a way with making things sound so romantic, whether you believed in it or not.  _ Do I believe in soulmates?  _ She wasn’t sure she did, but there was something different about David Budd. And the way she felt when she was with him. She had hated cliches until he had entered her life. She found herself amused by the thought as Rosita stood. 

“We should get you home,” she told Julia with a nod. “I think I know someone who is very worried about you.” Julia’s gaze met hers and she gave her a nervous smile. 

“I don’t know how to say thank you, Rosita…” she began uncertainly, pushing herself up from the couch with a slight groan. Her hip was smarting with pain from her walk earlier. She desperately needed a warm bath.

The woman shrugged. “There is no need. Just … talk to David.”

  
  


When Julia entered the cottage, she heard voices coming from the living room and she hesitated in the kitchen. Why was she nervous about seeing him?  _ Don’t be ridiculous, Julia. _

“David?” she called out his name, not surprised when she heard the talking stop, followed by the sounds of quick footsteps as he came rushing into the room. 

“Julia! I was so worried about you!” he told her, throwing his arms around her tightly and burying his head in the crook of her neck. Julia allowed his arms to go around her, breathing his scent in as her head rested against his wordlessly. Over his shoulder, her eyes met Sal’s and he gave her a reassuring smile.

“Well, now that you’re home, I should be going,” he said, excusing himself. Reaching out, he touched Julia tenderly on the elbow and she smiled at him as she pulled away from David’s embrace. 

He tried not to feel the sting of rejection at the loss of contact as she embraced Sal. 

“You’ve got a good woman, Sal,” she told him with a smile as she pulled away and he grinned in return. “Trust me, I know.” The three of them laughed before the man excused himself again, leaving the cottage and shutting the door behind him. 

David turned to Julia, his eyes looking her over for any sign of injury or anything that was out of place. 

“I should have gone with you … if anything had happened to you and Emilia…” he trailed off uncertainly, reaching out and touching her face. Resting her face in his palm for a moment, Julia pulled away, moving into the living room. 

“David, we’re fine,” she reassured him. “Nothing happened to either one of us.”

“I know, but it could have…” David watched as she looked around the room and he wondered what she was looking for. 

“Julia?” 

With her back to him, she sighed heavily. 

“I’m tired,” she finally offered. The war on her emotions combined with her early morning activities with David had truly exhausted her. Thinking back on Rosita’s words, she knew she needed to talk to David and work this out. But she wasn’t sure she had the energy. “I’m going to go take a bath and lay down for a while,” she murmured, beginning to leave the room and David frowned as he watched her start to go. 

“I…could come with you?” He said, his voice barely audible. He hated the way he sounded almost like a petulant child.

She paused at the doorway and David held his breath, unsure what her reaction would be. More than anything, he just wanted to hold her as she fell asleep. That had always been one of his favorite things to do. His arms wrapped tightly around her as they both drifted off together. He could always tell when she was slipping into sleep as she snuggled in tighter to him as her breathing began to deepen. It was a sound he never grew tired of. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she finally said and David felt the sting of rejection return as she broke him from his thoughts. She still had her back to him, and turned slightly looking over her shoulder. “Just … give me some time, David. I need that.” 

With that she turned and left David standing in the middle of the living room, not really sure what to do with himself. Thinking back to his talk with Sal, he knew he had to give her the time she asked for. But that didn’t mean he had to like it. 

Huffing a little under his breath, he went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. Returning to the living room, he plopped down on the couch dejectedly, flipping on the old television set. He didn’t even register what was on as he flipped through the channels. He just needed the noise to break up the silence in the cottage. 

  
  


David started at a noise in the room and sat up quickly, rubbing his eyes. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep on the couch, but he must have been more tired than he thought. Glancing out of the window, he noticed it was starting to get dark. He must have been asleep for hours.

Looking up in surprise, he blinked a few times in the dimly lit room, trying to clear the fog of sleep from his brain as Julia stood in front of him. She had changed into a tank top and a pair of his favorite sweatpants and as he looked at her, he felt his heart skip a beat. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. 

“Julia, please…” he cringed slightly at the sound of pleading in his voice as he stood up. He clenched his fists to keep from reaching out to touch her. He didn’t know if he could handle being rejected again. “Can we just talk about this?”

“I don’t know what to say to you, David,” she admitted softly. “I wasn’t sure I even wanted to come back here this afternoon… I was  _ that _ angry with you. And I was hurt. But then I talked to Rosita. And she reminded me that we have this beautiful little girl that is going to be joining our lives soon… I’ve thought about that a lot this afternoon. I want us to be better… for her and for us. ”

David nodded quickly in agreement. “I want that, too, Julia. Truly. I do.”

“You know that what you did hurt me… I don’t have to tell you that,” she said finally bringing her eyes to meet his as she fidgeted nervously with her hands. “But you were right when you said we were both at fault for this. We both kept secrets, David. Secrets from each other ... secrets from the world … but we can’t keep doing that.”

“No. You’re right,” David agreed. 

“Rosita asked me to examine how much has changed in my life. To really look at it, and to decide if I could do it without you,” she explained. Her voice sounded pained and David was beginning to grow more nervous. Surely this couldn’t be  _ it _ . “And I could, David… I thought I was going to have to.” 

He paled at her words, feeling his jaw clench involuntarily. He felt his body tense and shook his head quickly in response. 

“Julia, I --” he began, and she held up her hand.  

“You didn’t let me finish,” she said sternly. “Just because I  _ could _ do it doesn’t mean I  _ want _ to. I spent the last five months of my life here in Tuscany thinking that I was going to have to be without you. And that wasn’t even my own choice. But this…” 

David watched the emotions play out on her face as she glanced around the room again, her voice trailing off. It was obvious she avoiding making eye contact with him and he sighed. 

“Just look at me, love… please.” 

His words sounded defeated and Julia felt her heart constrict at his tone. Bringing her eyes to stare into his, neither one of them said anything for a long moment. 

“You’re right, of course I should have told you about Lorraine and Anne from the moment they approached me,” David reasoned. He slowly took a step closer to her, waiting for her to show him some sign he should stop. When he received none, he took another tentative step in her direction. “But I didn’t know what to do. It felt like the walls were closing in around me…”

Julia’s eyes were still on his and she bit at her lip, nodding an affirmation as he approached her. 

“Everything around me was going wrong when I met you, Julia. My world was falling apart. My marriage, too. My mom’s health wasn’t good. I wasn’t getting to see my kids as much as I wanted. The PTSD… The first of October rail attack… it just set everything into motion.”

Julia softened at his confession. This was a conversation they had never gotten to have before. David wasn’t always a man of many words. Looking at him, she could see him starting to shut down, and she reached for his hand.

“Tell me.” Julia squeezed his hand. 

“I wasn’t sure how I would make it through when Vicky rejected me. She and the kids were all I knew when I came back from the war. And when that fell apart…,” he took a deep breath, ”Then I got assigned to protect you, and I was fully prepared to hate the Right Honorable Home Secretary Julia Montague.”

David gave her a guilty look and she couldn’t help but chuckle.

“And did you hate her?” she said lowly, growing serious. Julia wasn’t sure she even wanted to hear the answer. She knew her reputation. She knew what pundits said about her in the media and on the evening news. Frigid. Divisive. Other words that weren’t headline friendly. 

“Never.” His response was quick. He didn’t hesitate. “I wanted to. But from the moment I met you, I was drawn to you. Your power. Your wit. Your beauty. I wanted to know everything about you. And that’s when I knew how much trouble I was in.”

“David…”

Her hand still in his, he laced his fingers through her own and led her to the couch, sitting next to her. Pulling her hand into his lap so it rested against his thigh, he shook his head.

“You have to believe me when I say I didn’t want to do Anne and Lorraine’s bidding. But then they threatened to take Vicky and the kids out of the safe house and I panicked. I couldn’t let anything happen to them. But that shouldn’t have come at your expense, either. I’m sorry, love.”

Sighing, Julia reached over and rested her other hand on top of his. 

“No, you’re right. Rosita brought up a good point… I can relate to how you feel as a parent now. Well, half relate,” she added with a chuckle as her eyes fell to her stomach. She released David’s hand and brought her fingers to trace small circles there. “I never knew what it was like to feel so protective … and so … loving. If anyone ever tried to harm Emilia … well, let’s just say it wouldn’t end well.” 

David laughed. “And just think, you haven’t even met her yet.” 

Meeting his eyes, she smiled at him warmly for the first time since their conversation began. “I can’t wait until we do.” 

There was a quiet that fell over the living room as Julia leaned into David, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, David… I may have overreacted a bit…” she sighed. “These pregnancy hormones make everything a million times worse and I…”

“You have every right to be upset with me, love,” his arm went around her shoulders and he kissed her temple. “I hope that in time, you can forgive me and we can move on from this… For us and for Emilia.”

Bringing his other hand down to her stomach, he placed it there smiling as he felt a flutter of movement.

“I’m sure we will,” Julia said after a moment, looking up at him. And in her eyes, he could see it was true. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so we’re officially halfway done with A Million Miles to Go, friends! Or at least I think we are... Thank you for your support and feedback. They keep me going more than you know. 
> 
> I love Julia and her little Italian family, Sal and Rosita. And Julia and her other little family, too. I’m beginning to wonder if there is such a thing as TOO soft for these two. Ha. 
> 
> Up next: Julia Montague meets Vicky and the Little Budds. :)


	11. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you love him?” The words slipped out and a blush colored Vicky’s face as she looked away. Julia was surprised by the question. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me today… It’s just… it’s been a lot to take in. I never thought I would be sitting here having this discussion with you.”
> 
> Julia is reunited with a familiar face. And meets Vicky and the small Budds for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind words on my last chapter! Your feedback really does motivate me to keep writing. 
> 
> This turned into kind of a monster, but I hope you all enjoy it. The idea of Julia meeting Ella and Charlie has always intrigued me on all fronts. Also, I wanted to bring someone else that was important to Julia back into the story as well.
> 
> Thanks to my girls, Linn, V, and Candi for always keeping me on track. You guys are the best.

Julia sat in a chair in Dr. Carmichael’s office nervously fidgeting with her hands. They’d had a meeting with him only a few days prior and everything checked out just fine with the baby, so when Lorenzo called and asked them to come in that afternoon, the panic had set in quickly. It was unusual for Lorenzo to see her so close together, and all of the worst case scenarios had started flooding her mind at what he might have discovered just a few days later.

David sat next to her and reached over to place his hand on top of hers in an effort to calm her. She turned, giving him a weak smile, before taking a deep breath and willing herself not to cry. He knew her mind was running rampant with all sorts of possibilities and he had to fight himself from going down the same road. 

It had been five weeks since David had called Vicky, asking her to make the journey to Tuscany, although he insisted he couldn’t tell her why on the telephone. He and Julia had sat at the dining room table, their fingers interlaced as he made the call. He smiled brightly at Julia as Vicky was speaking and he could tell she appreciated the reassurance.

The two of them seemed to be back on track after their confrontation and Julia was relieved to no longer have the tension in the house. They had settled back into their routine of breakfast in bed, walks around the vineyard together, indulging in delicious Italian food and making love late into the night. And sometimes into the morning, too. 

Julia wondered if their fight had actually been somewhat beneficial for them. After all, they had never had the chance to even have a real fight before the explosion. More than once, David had asked Julia if she was sure she still wanted to pursue the children coming to visit and getting to know Vicky a bit better. 

She knew he was giving her an out if she wanted it. But more than anything, she wanted to get to know the people who were going to become such a big part of her life once Emilia arrived. She had never been close with much of her own family, so this was her chance to get a new start.

Vicky and the kids were supposed to be flying into Tuscany the next day, but if something was wrong, David would have to call them to postpone the trip. He busied himself by making a mental to-do list of things he needed to do in preparation for their arrival, checking off boxes as he went. After a few minutes, he found he was having trouble focusing.  _ Please let everything be okay.  _ He repeated the words over and over in his head.

After what seemed like hours, Lorenzo entered the office and sat at his desk across from them.

“Julia, David, thank you for meeting me on such short notice.”

Julia merely nodded wordlessly, afraid her voice would betray her. She glanced at David, hoping he would pick up on her sign that she wanted him to do the talking.

He cleared his throat, “Aye. Of course.”

“I called you here today to discuss an important matter with you. You see….”

“Let’s not beat around the bush. No sense in taking any niceties with us. Just spit it out, Lorenzo.”

The man was taken aback by David’s bluntness. He blinked rapidly a few times before he shook his head and apologized. “I am sorry, you seem to think I have some bad news to deliver.”

“Don’t you?” Julia looked from her doctor to David and then back to Lorenzo again. 

“No, whatever gave you that idea?”

“It’s just...you've never had me come in so closely together before.” Julia looked at David again, “And when you called and said you needed to see us … we assumed you had found something from one of the tests you’d taken the other day.”

Lorenzo’s eyes widened in shock, clearly flustered as he quickly tried to explain himself. “No! No! I am sorry, no.” He reached across his desk for Julia’s hand, “I called you because I think I have found you the perfect midwife.”

At Julia’s last appointment, after running a few routine tests, Lorenzo had shared some information on a few midwives he had found in the area. He promised they were all discreet and could be trusted with keeping Julia’s secret. Unfortunately, no one had quite lived up to the standards Julia had in mind. Not to mention, she still wasn’t completely sold on the idea of a home birth. She, and David for that matter, wanted someone who would be knowledgeable and caring. Someone who would know the best way to guide them when they were unsure what to do should any problems arise during the birth. They had read the files on the women Lorenzo had shared with them and at the end of her appointment, Julia had began to feel discouraged. She wished the answer would just appear in front of her.

_ “I know I’m being picky, Lorenzo, but I’ve never done this before. I have no idea about childbirth or what to expect. I need someone that I can trust. And you know I have a hard time trusting people.” _

_ Lorenzo smiled, “I know. There’s no rush for you to choose someone now, you still have time. Give me a couple of days and I’ll look into a few more people for you.” _

_ “Thank you. I’m sorry for being difficult.” _

_ “You’re not being difficult. You’re having your first child and want the best for both of you. And as your doctor, I want this experience to go well for you. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable in any way.” _

_ “I really appreciate it.” _

_ “Of course.” He stood then, ushering her to the door with David following close behind. _

_ “Thank you,” David said, shaking his hand. _

Julia breathed a huge sigh of relief at Lorenzo’s clarification, her hand coming to rest protectively on her stomach. After having prepared herself for bad news, she felt like she could float out of the office, knowing all was well with Emilia. Her eyes met David’s and he reached out, placing his hand over hers with a warm smile. She could sense the relief he felt at Lorenzo’s insistence that everything was fine, too.

“I’m sorry I alarmed you both, but this is good news… I did some digging and it turns out -- well, why I don’t I just let her introduce herself?” Getting up from the desk, Lorenzo went to the door and paused.

Julia eyed him skeptically, as he opened the door and turned back to look at her. The smile on his face told them that Lorenzo was very proud of himself.

Julia gasped, her hand coming to her mouth and tears filled her eyes almost instantly as a young blonde entered the room.

“I did well with the surprise?” he asked, his excitement obvious. 

Julia nodded, catching her breath. “I ...Oh, Lorenzo….” she walked towards the woman who was standing at the door, equally emotional. David watched the exchange curiously, but stayed behind her, giving her space. She was obviously overwhelmed by whomever had just walked in the door.

“Julia,” Mila said, walking closer and extending her arms out to her. Julia stepped forward and embraced the woman in a tight hug.

“It is harder to hug you now, Home Secretary,” the woman said teasingly and Julia let out a loud laugh. 

After a moment, Julia took a step back. “Mila, what are you doing here?” she finally asked, taking in the woman in front of her. It had been months since she had seen the nurse that had helped her through her recovery when she woke up in Rome. And when she had changed jobs, Julia was sure she would never see her again. When she spoke with David about her, Julia had thought of asking Lorenzo if he could find out any information about her and where she had ended up. But she never could have imagined this.

“I live in Tuscany now,” Mila said with a bright smile. “After I left Rome, I relocated here. I had no idea you were here, Julia! Under my nose this whole time!”

Julia shook her head, “But I thought you’d gotten a job somewhere else?”

“No,” Mila said laughing, “I studied to become a midwife. It was always a dream of mine, but one I never took the time to pursue.” 

“What?” Julia turned to Lorenzo, who nodded and smiled, “I’d heard Mila had gotten her midwife certification from a friend of mine and I called her two days ago. I told her how you needed someone you could trust to help with your delivery and she agreed.”

“You’ll…you’ll do it?” Julia’s green eyes met Mila’s gaze. 

“Of course I will!” 

Julia began crying again, and lunged forward to hug Lorenzo, thanking him.

“I couldn’t think of anyone better,” he stated, rocking her back and forth slightly in his arms.

“I….I don’t know what to say.” It wasn’t often that Julia was at a loss for words.

“You don’t have to say anything. I’d be more than happy to help you have your baby, your  _ piccolina. _ ”

After a moment, David cleared his throat, reminding everyone he was still in the room.

“Oh! Mila, this...this is David. He’s my … uh… well, we’re together,” Julia finally offered and the nurse gave her a knowing smirk before turning her attention to the man standing in front of her. “David, this is Mila, _ Emilia _ , my nurse from the hospital in Rome.”

Mila held out a hand and smiled, “It is nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

The blonde chuckled, “I’ve heard a lot about you, too, David. Julia and I became close in the hospital before I left. We had a lot to talk about,” she said with a knowing smile and Julia cleared her throat uncomfortably. 

David smirked as he put an arm around Julia’s waist. He looked down at her and then back to the woman across from him, “Thank you for helping her with her recovery. I don’t think she could have done it without you.”  

“It is my job.” Mila smiled. “One I’m thankful that leads me to meet people like Julia.” 

Lorenzo guided them back to the chairs and Mila stood next to him. “Lorenzo tells me you are having a baby girl?”

Julia smiled, running a hand down her protruding belly. “Yes. Actually, it’s wonderful that you are here because….,” she trailed off, looking at David who nodded encouragingly. “We were planning on naming her after you.” The words were shy as Julia met Mila’s gaze.

“Me?” she repeated.

“Yes. Emilia. You helped me so much in my recovery, Mila, and I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. We thought it seemed fitting to name our daughter after someone like you. Someone who is kind and gentle, and helps people when they need it most. You were truly my first friend here, in a time when I needed a friend desperately.”

“Emilia can also be called Mango,” David added with a grin, breaking up the sentimental moment and Julia scoffed turning to look at him, her eyes wide. 

“David, we’ve talked about this,” she said shortly. He shrugged. “Okay, okay. Emilia Kimberly Montague-Budd. No Mango,” He said with a mock sense of resignation and a heavy sigh. Everyone in the room laughed.

Mila put a hand to her chest, “Emilia Kimberly,” she repeated. ”I’m honored, Julia. Thank you!”

Lorenzo had watched the exchange and chuckled at the way that Julia looked at David in annoyance when he brought up “Mango” again. The man was lucky Julia hadn’t killed him yet.

“Well, now that that’s all settled, we’ll need to catch Mila up on your birth plan and make sure we’re all on the same page here,” Lorenzo said, switching back into doctor mode. 

“Ah, yes. Lorenzo is right. Back to business,” Mila said with a smile as he handed her Julia’s chart. 

  
  
  


The next day, Julia inspected her reflection in the bathroom mirror, pursing her lips tentatively. She swore every time she looked in the mirror, her stomach had grown in size. For someone who hadn’t shown much in the early stages of her pregnancy, she was making up for lost time at 27 weeks. 

She wondered where David was now. If he had met up with Vicky and broken the news to her yet. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her frayed nerves, sure that the pregnancy hormones were working against her yet again. She was bloody tired of being pregnant. 

She was well-aware that this wasn’t anything like the scenario she had in her head for when she had thought about meeting Vicky in the past. She had imagined a quiet dinner between the three of them somewhere private, with a lot of wine involved. Instead, she was meeting David’s wife as a ghost who had been brought back to life. A ghost that was carrying his baby as she hid out in Italy because someone had tried to kill her. Twice. 

Julia scoffed, eyeing her ever-growing stomach. If there was ever a time Julia had been desperate for wine, this was it.

 

As David and Vicky walked the grounds of the vineyard in silence, he weighed the words carefully in his head, trying to figure out the best way to begin the conversation. 

“So, uh, Vick…. Thanks for bringing the kids with you,” he said, fidgeting with his hands as they walked. 

“They’re excited to be here. And glad to see you,” she offered politely. She was glad they were finally in a good place. This was the new normal between them. And she was enjoying it.

“It’s good to see them, too,” David said, smiling as he thought of Ella and Charlie. More than a month away from them had been too long. “Rosita will have them spoiled in no time,” he added, chuckling at the thought of the kids stuffing their faces with sweet treats at the main house as they left for their walk. Vicky stopped and turned to look at him, her hand resting on his upper arm. 

“Dave, what’s going on here?” she asked, her impatience clearly showing for the first time. “First you ask me to drop everything and come to Italy and you can’t tell me why…. Then you ask that I bring the kids, but I can’t tell anyone where we’re going.” She chewed her bottom lip nervously. “Are you in some kind of trouble, Dave? Because if you are --”

David interrupted her. 

“I’m not in trouble, Vicky. I… Christ, I don’t know how to tell you this,” he ran a hand through his hair and couldn’t help but think of Julia as he did it. She might have been rubbing off on him more than he realized. He couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his face.

“Dave!” Vicky cried out in frustration, bringing David back to their conversation. He paused, looking around the vineyard, wishing the right explanation would suddenly appear to him. 

“Vicky, when I worked for the Home Secretary…” he hesitated. “When I worked for Julia...” he began again. He had said these words before. It shouldn’t be this hard, but this wasn’t a conversation he thought he would be revisiting with his wife. Not ever again. 

“Julia and I were having an affair,” the seven words were the same ones he had used when he and Vicky had a similar conversation at the hospital. Her expression was unreadable.

“I know that!” Vicky’s irritation was evident. “You were sleeping with the bloody Home Secretary. We’ve had this conversation, Dave. Why are you bringing it up again now?”

“Well, because Julia is… she’s pregnant,” the words slipped out before David could stop them.  _ You probably should have gotten to the alive part first, mate. _

The color drained from Vicky’s face and she felt her legs go weak. She reached for the nearest object to support her, her hand falling on a brick wall as she leaned back against it. She didn’t speak for a moment, and David’s jaw clenched tightly.

“I shouldn’t have -- that was the wrong way for that to come out…”

“She  _ was _ pregnant?” she finally asked in confusion, an edge of concern obvious in her voice. Her voice was soft, but he noticed a hint of surprise there, too. “You mean she was … when the bombing happened?”

David shook his head. “No, Vick, present tense…” he looked around to make sure the two of them were alone and no one would overhear him. “Julia is alive... She’s here.” 

“Have you gone _mad_?” Her voice was louder now and David winced, reaching for her arm to calm her. “You’re telling me that the Home Secretary _wasn’t_ killed in that bombing? The same Home Secretary that you were _sleeping_ _with_ while you were on the job? And you’ve been here in Tuscany with her for the last month and a half?” Her questions were coming in rapid fire as she stared at him in disbelief.

“Vicky, you can’t say anything to anyone,” David’s tone was quiet. “I know, it’s a mess. This isn’t ideal for us either.”

Vicky turned away from him, her hands at her temple. “You got her bloody pregnant? Dave… They’ll have your job for this...”

“I know, Vick, but it wasn’t intentional… It wasn’t like… we weren’t…” 

“I’d rather not know the details,” she said, feeling an odd combination of both anxiety and relief. David had almost killed himself when he thought Julia had died, for him to have her back was unbelievable.  _ But a baby? _

“I brought you and the kids here because I want you to meet her,” David said after a long silence. He bit at the inside of his cheek anxiously. “I want the kids to get to know her. When Julia has this baby, she’s going to be a part of the family. That little girl will be Ella and Charlie’s sister…”

The blonde softened a bit at the mention of the baby. “It’s a girl?” she said with a small smile and David nodded. “It’s a girl,” he repeated. “We’re calling her Emilia,” he said, his excitement contagious.  While she realized her initial shock might have come across as a little overbearing, she couldn't help but take in Dave's obvious enthusiasm and wondered if this strange turn of events wasn’t exactly what he needed. 

“Congratulations, David… I really am happy for you,” she offered as she stood and slowly began to walk again. “Confused… and definitely surprised, but happy,” she said after a minute and they both laughed as they headed down the path toward the main house to collect the children. 

 

The children chattered away excitedly about all the sweets Rosita had given them as they approached the cottage.

“And then, I had the best cookie I’ve ever had, Daddy,” Ella said, looking up at him with a wide grin. “Rosita said she’ll make me a whole batch next time!” 

David returned her smile. He really had missed them quite terribly. Looking down at both of them, he couldn’t believe how grown-up they had become. It seemed like just yesterday they were babies and he and Vicky were taking turns with midnight feedings and nappy changes. It seemed unbelievable he was going to be starting all over with Emilia, but despite dreading the future midnight wake-up calls, he couldn’t wait to become a dad again. 

“Julia?” he called out as he entered the cottage, looking around for her. He had left Vicky and the kids out on the terrace while he went in search of her. His eyes finally settled on her at the kitchen table, where she was obviously pretending to look enthralled in her book. 

“Oh, I didn’t hear you come in… I was so caught up in my book,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant and failing. David smirked. 

“You’re holding it upside down, love,” he teased and Julia’s eyes widened, looking down at the book in her hands. Closing it, she ran a hand through her hair and sighed heavily. 

“Busted.” 

“It’s okay to be nervous, you know,” he said, coming to sit next to her and placing his hand reassuringly on her thigh, slowly rubbing up and down.

Julia grinned sheepishly at him, knowing she had been found out. “You know me better than I know myself sometimes. Do you realize that I’ve negotiated meetings between foreign diplomats and watched as SO15 monitored active terror cells… And yet meeting my lover’s wife and children seems absolutely terrifying in comparison,” she admitted sheepishly. David smiled reassuringly at her, leaning forward to kiss her lips softly. “You’ll be great. The kids are going to love you,” he said, getting to his feet and offering his hand to her. 

Taking it, she took a deep breath before standing. Her insistence in cleaning the cottage top to bottom had been daft. Now she was paying for it with the pain she felt in her hip and her back. David helped her to the door and turned to face her again, “It’s all going to be fine, love.” Leaning forward, he kissed her on the temple before opening the door.

Julia pulled her sweater tighter around herself as they made their way to the terrace where Vicky and kids were talking quietly. Vicky was the first to see her, and Julia watched as her eyes drifted from her face to her stomach, taking in the bump. The sweater wasn’t hiding much at this point. 

Approaching the blonde, Julia offered her hand. 

“Julia Montague,” she said, inwardly cringing as she realized she sounded exactly like the politician she used to be in another life.  Julia almost felt relieved to recognize a bit of her old self. But now wasn’t the time for  _ that  _ Julia to make an appearance. 

“I know,” Vicky said, taking Julia’s hand and shaking it. “I, um, I just mean… I’ve seen your picture on the telly…” 

Both women gave each other a forced smile as David looked on. 

“Let me try that again,” Julia said after a moment, clearing her throat. “Hi, I’m Julia. It’s nice to meet you.” Her tone was warmer and Vicky smiled in response. 

“Vicky. It’s nice to meet you, too. Dave has told me so much about you…” 

Julia’s gaze turned to David and she arched a brow. “Has he?” 

“Okay, that’s enough of that, I think,” David said quickly, cutting the conversation off before it could go any further. He turned his attention to the kids. “Julia, these are my children, Ella and Charlie.”

The children had been watching the interaction between Julia, and their parents with keen interest, both at an age where they were learning to pick up social cues from adults and know when something wasn’t quite right. 

“Come say hello, you two,” David encouraged. Julia held her breath as they approached her and smiled as Charlie was the first to stick out his hand.

“Hello! I’m Charlie Budd,” he said and Julia couldn’t help it as her grin widened. Charlie was the spitting image of his father.

“Hello, Charlie. I’m Julia,” she said, leaning forward slightly, as much as her stomach would let her, to speak to him. She chuckled as she shook the hand he had offered her. Charlie seemed pleased with himself and his parents exchanged a proud glance over the children’s heads. 

Julia turned her attention to Ella who was still eyeing her warily. “Your father has told me so much about you both,” she said, looking between them. Ella squinted at her. 

“You look familiar…” she finally said, and Julia nodded. She had wondered if the children would recognize her. “I thought you….” Ella trailed off.

“I know it’s confusing,” Julia said. “A lot of people think that I died in an accident…  but they don’t know I’m here. It’s kind of like a big game of hide and go seek. So I have to ask you to keep our secret…. Can you do that for me?” 

“You’re having a baby?” Ella asked, her eyes falling to Julia’s stomach. Julia turned to David, feeling a little uncertain about how they should explain their current situation, and unconsciously running her fingers through her hair.

David grabbed her hand in a reassuring gesture before turning his attention back to the kids. 

“We need to have a chat, you two…” he said, kneeling down next to them. Julia felt her heart begin to beat faster in her chest. This was the moment of truth. 

“You see, the baby that Julia is carrying… that’s your baby sister in there,” he said, watching them both closely for their reactions. Charlie’s jaw dropped and he let out a squeal of excitement while Ella stood quietly, contemplating the news. 

Julia chuckled at Charlie’s reaction and was startled when he ran to her, throwing his arms around her growing waist. She was still for a moment, looking down at him in surprise and then looking at David. 

“I’ve always wanted to be a big brother!” His statement was muffled as his face pressed into Julia’s stomach and the adults chuckled as they all exchanged looks. 

Wrapping her arms around his little frame, Julia felt the sting of tears in her eyes. “Emilia can’t wait to meet you, Charlie,” she told him, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from starting to fall to no avail. “You’re going to be a great big brother.” 

“Ella?” David asked after a moment, turning to look at his daughter, who was still watching the scene with curiosity. “Are you alright?” 

“So… if you’re having a baby… you and my dad are … a couple then?” she asked, still looking at Julia. David had warned her that Ella was wise beyond her years. Julia exchanged a quick glance with him and nodded. 

Ella’s uncertain gaze went to her mother, looking for some sort of guidance. Vicky walked over to her, resting a hand on her shoulder. 

“I know it’s a lot to take in, El, but it’s a lot like when I started seeing Allan,” she reminded her gently. Julia’s eyes flicked to David’s in surprise. She hadn’t known Vicky was seeing anyone. “It took some time for you to get used to the idea.” 

It was the first time Vicky had spoken, but Ella seemed pleased with the comparison. She was thoughtful for a moment and finally nodded, offering Julia a small smile. “You said her name is Emilia?” she asked, still keeping her distance.

“Emilia Kimberly,” Julia said in response, her hand coming to rest on her stomach affectionately, and Ella nodded. “That’s a smart name. I like it.”

Julia breathed a barely audible sigh of relief, grateful she seemed to have passed the test. Her eyes met David’s and he gave her a wide grin as he got to his feet. She could tell it was going to take some work with Ella, but she was glad she seemed to at least be okay with her.

“What do you say, you two? Want to help your old man make dinner?” he asked.

“Yeah!” They said excitedly before running into the house, David trailing behind. Before going through to the cottage, he turned to glance wordlessly at Julia and Vicky one last time, giving them both a smile.

 

Julia looked around nervously, her eyes falling on the wine cabinet in the corner of the terrace. “Would you like a glass of wine, Vicky?” she asked and the blonde eyed her for a moment before speaking. 

“Absolutely,” she said with a polite smile and Julia moved to the wine rack, breathing slowly in through her nose and out through her mouth to help with the pain in her hip and her back. She was going to have to soak in a tub for three days to get these muscle aches out.

“Red or white?” she asked, and Vicky wrinkled her nose in response. 

“White, please.”

“You know, I envy you,” Julia said, uncorking the bottle and beginning to pour it. “I’ve spent the better part of four months living at an Italian vineyard… And I can’t even  _ have _ wine.”

The two women chuckled and Julia turned, handing her a glass. She poured herself a glass of lemonade and sighed, her hand resting on her back. Coming to sit in one of the chairs, she leaned back, feeling instant relief in her lower body. 

“Julia…” Vicky paused. It seemed strange calling the woman she had seen on TV so many times by her first name. The Right Honorable Julia Montague was now  _ just _ Julia. “Forgive me if this seems insensitive, but I have to ask…how did you survive that blast?” 

Julia pursed her lips together, her mind flashing back to the day she woke up in Rome. 

“Well, after the bomb went off, I was placed in a medically-induced coma. I was under for about two months. And when I woke up, I was already in Italy… They never gave me a choice about hiding,” she offered, not sure why she felt the need to defend herself. “I had a broken hip, a punctured lung, some internal bleeding. I required a blood transfusion and almost lost Emilia, they tell me…” 

Vicky watched the woman in front of her over the edge of her wine glass. She couldn’t imagine what she had been through. 

“But you’re well now?” she asked. Her eyes widened. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business. It’s just that I’m a nurse. The medical field…it fascinates me.”

“David told me that,” Julia said, offering a smile. “I’m well… _enough_. My hip still gives me trouble on a regular basis which means we’ll have to adjust accordingly when Emilia comes.” 

The words were quiet, almost thoughtful, and Vicky offered her a genuine smile. 

“I’m sure it will all go just fine.”

“David and I actually met my midwife yesterday,” Julia began and then stopped. “Is this weird?” she asked, feeling somewhat self-conscious. She would love to get Vicky’s opinion on what she had talked about with Mila and Lorenzo, but Emilia  _ was _ David’s baby.

Vicky gave a short laugh. “I wouldn’t say it’s exactly conventional, but I don’t mind it.” She shrugged. “Like I said before, the medical field fascinates me.”

Julia nodded, pushing aside the strange feeling she had felt only moments earlier. 

“ Well, you’re a nurse… My doctor is suggesting a homebirth when Emilia comes and honestly, the idea sort of terrifies me.” Julia was fiddling with the edge of her glass as she continued. “My mind immediately goes to if something were to go wrong…”

“You can’t let yourself think about it that way, Julia.”

The brunette smiled and shook her head ruefully. “David said the same thing.” 

Taking another sip of her wine, the blonde nodded her head. “Okay, home birth. Maybe. What else?” she asked. 

“Well, my midwife is actually a nurse I met when I was recovering in Rome. My doctor, Lorenzo, brought her in and surprised me. She seems to think a home birth is a good idea. It’s less precarious for my …  _ situation _ .”

Julia found herself surprised at how quickly she had opened up to Vicky. She had never been one to have many female friendships, but being able to talk to someone else about this -- someone who understood -- was such a relief. She would just have to pretend that someone wasn’t David’s wife.

“And have they talked about how your injuries will impact childbirth?” Vicky asked and Julia was broken from her thoughts. 

“Um, yes, actually. We’ve discussed the idea of a water birth to help with the pain from my hip… but I’m not sure about that either.” She sighed. “Honestly, I’m not sure about much of anything these days.”

Vicky smiled. “You’re a first-time mom. I see it all the time in the labour and delivery wing at the hospital,” she told her reassuringly. “You’ll figure out what’s right for you and  Emilia. You’ve got time to do your research. But above all, I’d say go with your gut. That mother’s instinct already knows more than you give it credit for.”

Mulling over her words, Julia nodded. “You’re right. Thank you for talking me through it,” she said. “David tries, but…”

At the mention of David, the two women grew quiet, both taking in their surroundings. While their meeting wasn’t conventional, Julia couldn’t help feeling a strange connection to Vicky. She liked her. It was obvious she loved David, but she wasn’t  _ in _ love with him anymore. She just wanted what was best for her family. Julia couldn’t fault her for that. 

“Do you love him?” The words slipped out and a blush colored Vicky’s face as she looked away. Julia was surprised by the question. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me today… It’s just… it’s been a lot to take in. I never thought I would be sitting here having this discussion with you.”

Glancing back at the house, Julia heard the children giggling in the kitchen through the open door, smiling as she turned back to look at Vicky. “You’re protective of him,” she said with a soft smile. “I understand that. I know things got very bad when I was...  _ gone _ … Thank you for helping him…” She looked down at her glass of lemonade. “To answer your question, I love David very much. He brings out a side of me that I didn’t know existed. I feel … softer when I’m with him. Less harsh and a lot more emotional … unfortunately” she added with a chuckle. “I just feel things differently. And now, with Emilia…” she trailed off. “I’m sorry, that was probably too much,” she offered, bringing her gaze back to Vicky who shrugged. 

“It wasn’t too much,” she reassured her. “I asked.”

They both grew quiet again, a long silence hanging in the air. Julia was surprised to find it was a comfortable silence. Not at all the awkward energy she had been expecting.

“I never intended for this to happen, Vicky.” When she spoke, she wasn’t sure if she was speaking of the affair or her pregnancy. But she figured both were true. “Neither of us did.”

Glancing out at the vineyard, Vicky avoided Julia’s gaze, the truth of the moment laid out between them. 

“I know you didn’t,” Vicky finally said, turning to look at the brunette. “You don’t owe me any sort of apology. David and I were so young when we fell in love. And then the kids came along… and we just  outgrew each other. I’m glad he’s found you, Julia. Both then and now. When he thought you were dead…”

“I know,” Julia said. “We’ve talked about what he did. I told him he was a bloody idiot and he agreed,” she added. 

“You know once, when Dave and I talked about you… I told him that I wished I could thank you,” Vicky said, referencing the conversation they’d had in their backyard before he left for Tuscany. “He finally got the help that he needed, and that was because of you…” 

Vicky reached out, taking the woman’s hand.

“So, on behalf of the kids and me, thank you, Julia. You gave them their dad back. And I couldn’t be more grateful for that.”

Julia felt a single tear slide down her cheek as she squeezed Vicky’s hand in return. 

“I’m glad you’re here, Vicky,” she finally said. “All of you.”  
  



	12. Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do I have to do to win Ella over?” she finally asked, avoiding his gaze. The pieces of the puzzle began to come together for David. That’s what had been bothering Julia.
> 
> “It’s not you,” he reassured her. “I think it’s just going to take time,” he said, reaching for her hand and interlacing their fingers, his thumb stroking her palm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some Julia and Ella fluff as Britain's Former Home Secretary desperately tries to win over a stubborn 12-year-old.

****The soft notes of a Sara Bareilles song David didn’t know came from the record player as he laid in bed with Julia. He had both of his arms wrapped around her as she nestled into his body, her back against his chest. His fingers glided over the skin of her swollen stomach lightly, leaving Julia giggling at the sensation as goosebumps suddenly appeared on her skin.

It had been a few days since Vicky and the kids had come to Tuscany, and David was thrilled with how well everyone seemed to be getting on together. The whole thing had gone much more smoothly than he had expected. 

Charlie had taken to Julia instantly, and talked about being a big brother all the time, while Ella, though friendly, still seemed to keep her distance. The three of them were staying in another cottage Sal had provided for them down the path from David and Julia. 

Their days had been spent exploring the grounds of the vineyard, and David wished things could stay as peaceful and calm as they were now. He knew Vicky had to return to London for work soon and that he and Julia would both miss the children terribly once they were gone. 

David’s fingers were stroking Julia’s arm when she spoke suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence between them. 

“Will Vicky and the children be leaving soon?” she asked softly, her head leaning back so that it rested on David’s shoulder. 

David smiled at the idea that he and Julia had been thinking the same thing. 

“Aye. I wish they could stay longer, but Vicky has to get back to work…”

Julia frowned at the thought of no longer having the children around. She had never envisioned herself as a fabulous stepmother of sorts, but having Ella and Charlie here seemed to spark something in her. And if she was honest, it made her feel a bit more confident about Emilia’s arrival. 

“David, what would you think if…” her voice trailed off unsurely, and David’s fingers stopped moving against her skin. 

“What, love?” He asked, readjusting his body slightly so he could see her face.

“Well, I was just going to say, the children are on holiday from school right now, aren’t they?” she asked and David nodded. He couldn’t help the wide smile that crossed his face. 

“What if they stayed with us for a few more days?” she suggested shyly. “I know we’ve both enjoyed having them here and I’d love to get to spend some more time with them before they go back to London… What do you think?”

David felt his heart swell as he looked down at her, kissing her temple. 

“I think it’s a brilliant idea,” he told her. “I’ll talk to Vicky. The kids have really taken to you, you know.” 

“They’re wonderful, David,” she said softly, her hands coming to rest on her stomach where she could feel Emilia moving restlessly. “You and Vicky have done such a great job with them both. I hope our Emilia is just like them.”

“I don’t know, love… She’s half Montague, she’s going to be a stubborn one,” David teased with a smirk and Julia nudged his chest with her shoulder playfully. 

“It’ll be good to have them here with us for a few days longer,” he said after a minute and Julia was quiet. “Everything okay, love?” He asked softly. 

“What do I have to do to win Ella over?” she finally asked, avoiding his gaze. The pieces of the puzzle began to come together for David. That’s what had been bothering Julia.

“It’s not you,” he reassured her. “I think it’s just going to take time,” he said, reaching for her hand and interlacing their fingers, his thumb stroking her palm.

Her gaze fell to their hands and she was thoughtful a moment before she spoke. 

“I just want her to like me, David,” she admitted, feeling embarrassed. “I’ve never cared so much about the opinion of an 12-year-old before and it’s throwing me for a bit of a loop here.” 

 “Ella is very … cautious. She’ll warm up to you, love, I promise.” 

Julia nodded, his reassurance helping to quell her fears. Her gaze met his and she smiled as she leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek. “You always know just what to say to make me feel better, David Budd.”

“Yes ma’am,” he said with a grin as they both chuckled. “If it helps, Ella loves a good proper tea. And I’ve already told you about her penchant for blanket forts.”

“Ah, yes. The blanket fort… I do seem to recall that,” Julia said with a smile. “Can you remind me how you build one of those?” 

David smirked before taking the sheet that was covering their bodies and throwing it over their heads as he grabbed Julia, who let out a squeal of surprise. They both burst into a fit of giggles as they kissed lazily, enjoying one another.

  
  
  


It had been three days since David had suggested the idea of the kids staying for a bit longer to Vicky while she went back to London. She had been admittedly hesitant at first, but David knew she could use the break. He also knew how badly Julia wanted to spend time with Ella and Charlie before Emilia arrived. Watching her with his children had made David love her even more; if he thought that was possible. 

It was obvious to him, as he watched the three of them, that something in Julia was really beginning to change as she spent more time with the kids. Although, he had to admit, he couldn’t hide his amusement well when one of the children would ask Julia something she was unsure about. Her eyes would go to his quickly and he would stifle a laugh at the deer in the headlights look frozen on her face. 

_ “Charlie was asking me about the different types of grapes they grow here!” She cried out one day after texting Sal and asking him for as much information he could give her on the vineyard. “He’s nine, David! Since when do nine-year-olds care about grapes?!” She had asked and David laughed. “Nine-year-olds want to know everything, love.” Julia had grumbled under her breath, checking out the information Sal had sent her so she could tell Charlie about it later. _

When Vicky finally agreed to leave the kids with them for a few extra days, David was thrilled. They made plans for her to return to Tuscany with Allan the following weekend for a few days of sightseeing before picking up the kids to take them home. 

The kids had moved into the cottage with David and Julia the night before Vicky left, sharing the second bedroom across the hall from theirs. Charlie had been quick to jump in and help around the house, while Ella still seemed to hold onto some of her reservations about getting to know Julia. Just when Julia thought they were making progress, they would take one step forward and two steps back. Most of the time, Ella sat out on the terrace with her nose buried in a book. 

To help bring Julia and Ella closer, David had offered that he and Charlie would escort Vicky to the airport while the girls stayed home and spent some time together. Julia had been hesitant to take him up on the offer, but she was determined to get through to Ella. Putting on an apron, Julia poked her head out onto the terrace. 

“I was thinking about doing some baking,” she called out to Ella, who only glanced up briefly from her book. “Alright.”

Julia frowned. “Could you come give me a hand?” she asked after a minute, deciding to take a new approach. Ella took a minute to finish the page she was on before she folded the corner of her page over and set it down on the table. Her dad had asked her to help Julia with whatever she may need while he was gone and so, she felt obliged. As she came inside, Julia offered her an apron, smiling widely at her.

“Thank you for helping me,” she said softly, not wanting to push her luck. “Emilia has me craving all sorts of sweet things… but in all honesty, I’m not a very good baker…” she said, wrinkling her nose.

“Oh, it’s easy. You just have to follow the recipe,” Ella said confidently, shrugging a little as she tied the apron behind her back.  _ Yes, definitely wise beyond her years,  _ Julia thought.

“That sounds easy enough,” Julia said cheerfully. She hadn’t made any sort of sweets in years, usually opting for old faithful, a pint of ice cream, when her sweet tooth hit. “What should we do first?” she asked, pulling a cookbook from a stack of them on the counter.

Ella looked at her in surprise. 

“You have real cookbooks here?” she asked, her tone full of amazement. “Normally, I just look up the recipes online.” 

“People still do things the old-fashioned way sometimes, Ella,” Julia said laughing and the girl shrugged bashfully, giggling a little bit, too.

“I know you like to read, and you’re very good at it,” Julia said, sliding the book toward her. “Why don’t you tell me what we do first?” 

Ella nodded, reading out the instructions in the recipe for a basic chocolate chip cookie.  _ Surely they couldn’t mess that up _ , Julia thought as she took a moment to take in the scene around her. She and her mother had never had the kind of relationship where you took time out of the day to bake cookies together. 

Shaking her head slightly, she brought herself back to the present. She resolved then and there that she would have a better relationship with Ella, Charlie and Emilia. She would be a better mother than she’d in her life. 

The two worked together, Ella reading out what to add to Julia, who mixed the ingredients in a bowl. Julia could see the girl beginning to loosen up slowly, and she felt a mixture of relief and happiness spread through her as Ella began to tell a story about a bake sale she and her friends had organized at their school. 

The girl chattered on for a while, only stopping to read the ingredients and amounts to Julia, before finishing one story and moving onto another. Once they had mixed all of the ingredients together, they began to roll the dough into balls, placing them on a baking sheet. Julia couldn’t wait to tell David how much Ella had opened up to her. 

After putting the cookies in the oven, Julia set about putting on the kettle for tea. Ella watched her, crossing her arms in front of her and resting her head on top of the island. Turning to look at her, Julia offered her a smile. Coming to sit next Ella, she relaxed against the chair, her hand resting on her stomach. In the past few weeks, it had become a habit that Julia often didn’t realize she was doing.

“Can you feel her moving around in there?” Ella asked after a minute, staring at Julia’s stomach. She smiled at the girl and nodded. 

“I can. I used to be able to feel her fluttering around like a butterfly,” she said with a smile. 

“A butterfly?” the girl giggled, “That’s strange!”

Julia nodded in agreement,“It was strange at first, but I’ve come to like it. Now she moves a lot more.” Ella’s eyes widened. 

“Does it hurt?” she asked, a hint of worry in her tone. Julia let out a small chuckle, “Not all the time. But she flips quite a bit and sometimes she’ll kick me in the ribs. That’s when it really hurts.” 

Ella was perplexed. It occurred to Julia then, that the girl would have been too little to remember her mother being pregnant with Charlie.

“Let’s see if we can get her to say hello to you…”

Putting her palm flat against her stomach, Julia pressed down with extra pressure and was rewarded with a response as her stomach began to move slightly. Ella watched in amazement and her eyes widened even further as her gaze met Julia’s. 

“Can I feel?” 

The request was a shy one and at first, Julia wasn’t sure if she had heard her correctly. When Ella stared at her expectantly, a bright smile broke out on Julia’s face. 

“Of course,” she replied, motioning for Ella to come closer. Placing the girl’s hand where hers had been previously, she pressed down on her stomach again and was rewarded with a swift kick. She chuckled as the girl jumped in surprise, both of them breaking into peals of laughter. 

“You can talk to her, if you want,” Julia suggested and Ella was thoughtful for a minute. Julia could see her mulling the idea over in her head. “What do I say?” she asked, obviously unsure. 

“Whatever you want,” Julia told her. “Your Dad talks to her all the time. He doesn’t tell me what they’re talking about though,” she confided in a low tone and Ella’s smile widened as she leaned down next to her stomach. Her whisper was loud, and Julia turned her head to pretend like she wasn’t listening. 

“Hi, Emilia. I’m your big sister, Ella. I just wanted to tell you that I love you very much and I can’t wait to meet you.”

Julia had to fight back the tears that threatened to spill over at the young girl’s declaration and swallowed hard as the tea kettle began to whistle. 

“I’m sure whatever you told her was very sweet, Ella,” Julia reassured her. “Now, let me get this kettle and we can get our tea party started.”

“How did you know I liked tea parties?” Ella asked, and Julia didn’t miss the suspicious tone in her voice. She sounded just like her father. Julia was relieved her back was to the girl as she stifled a laugh. 

“I might have had a little help with that,” she admitted, turning to face the girl and putting down a teacup in front of her as the oven timer went off. 

A few moments later, the two of them sat together at the kitchen table, a plate full of cookies in front of them as they each sipped their tea. Reaching for a cookie, Ella stared at Julia in silence for a few minutes. 

“Are you going to marry my daddy?” she asked, taking a bite of the cookie and Julia’s eyes widened in shock, as she contemplated her answer. David hadn’t been kidding about Ella putting you on the spot. Before she could answer, she watched in surprise as Ella began coughing before spitting the cookie out of her mouth and into a napkin.

“Ella?”

“I think something… went wrong with those cookies,” she said after taking a long sip of her tea and Julia frowned. Reaching for one herself,  Ella tried to stop her before she could bring it to her mouth. Julia’s reaction mimicked Ella’s as she took a bite and then reached for a napkin before spitting the offensive cookie out. The taste of an excessive amount of salt still burned at Julia’s tongue as she drank.

“Salt… too much salt…” she murmured, taking a long sip of her tea. 

Getting up, Ella grabbed the cookbook off the counter and brought it over to the kitchen table. “I don’t know what we did wrong, Jules…”

The name slipped easily from Ella’s mouth without her even really noticing and Julia was touched. 

Looking over the cookbook, Julia muttered aloud as she read off the list of ingredients. Scouring the list, her eyes narrowed. 

“Definitely too much salt,” she emphasized and Ella looked down at the floor nervously. “I’m sorry…” she began to apologize, but Julia cut her off, reaching for her hand. 

“You have no reason to apologize. It was a mistake and those happen. Now, if we hurry, we might be able to talk your daddy into stopping by the market and picking up some cookies for us. What do you say?” 

Julia reached for her phone and sent a quick text to David.  _ Emilia, Ella and Julia want cookies.  _

Ella looked up at Julia with a wide smile as they both burst into laughter. Scooping up the plate of cookies, the girl took them over to the bin and tossed them away, still giggling. 

“Thank you, Jules. I had so much fun baking with you…” She started out the door, but hesitated. “Maybe next time we should go for less salt?”

_ Jules _ . 

Julia felt proud as she watched the girl exit the kitchen to return to her book on the terrace. David had been right. All it took was a little time. 

  
  


David and Charlie walked into the house, talking about all the things Sal had shown them when they stopped by the main house. Charlie had asked a million questions and David chuckled as Sal offered them a tour of the vineyard, telling him they would take him up on it another day. 

Setting a bag full of cookies on the counter, David wondered where the girls had disappeared to. 

“Hello?” He called out, making his way through the house. Hearing the sound of the television from the living room, he was surprised to find the room covered in sheets as he rounded the corner. Hearing the sound of giggles, he smirked as Ella popped out from underneath a sheet that was draped over the back of the couch. 

“Hello, Daddy!” Ella said cheerfully before disappearing under the blanket again. “Jules and I built the best blanket fort while you and Charlie were gone!” 

“Jules?” David repeated, a small smile coming to his lips. 

“Hello, darling,” Julia said from somewhere underneath the fort. “I would come out to greet you, but I think Emilia and I are stuck…” she said, and David heard Ella burst into a fit of giggles.

Just then, Charlie entered the room, taking in the sight of Julia and Ella’s creation. He was holding another tin of cookies, stuffing one into his mouth. 

“Woah!” he said excitedly, his mouth still full. Dropping to his knees, he crawled under the largest part of the blanket fort where Ella and Julia were sitting on piles of pillows. They were playing Brave on the telly, which Julia had rigged to be a part of the fort as well. 

Hearing them chatter away under the sheets, David turned his attention back to the fort. Using chairs and the couch and even the coffee table, the girls had managed to turn their blanket fort into more of a circus tent. 

“David?” Julia called out and he knelt down next to the entrance of the fort, peeking his head inside. He looked at Julia and he felt his breath stop for a moment. Appearing dressed down in a cashmere sweater and leggings, her hair was pinned back from her face, which had a soft glow to it. She had never looked more beautiful to him. 

Her eyes meeting his, Julia’s grin grew even wider as he crawled in, settling next to her and reaching for a cookie from Charlie. 

“I love you,” he said tenderly and Julia’s nose wrinkled as she giggled. “I love you, too.” 

Leaning forward, she placed her lips against his, giving him a quick peck. They pulled away as Ella and Charlie both provided a chorus of “ewwww” at the same time. Julia smirked as the four of them laughed and the kids settled in next to David as they watched their movie, passing the cookies around between them. 

“You look like you’re getting on well,” he said a few moments later, noticing both of the kids had drifted off to sleep at some point during the movie. Julia nodded, her eyes drifting to Ella and Charlie. 

“We had a very good day,” she whispered, not wanting to disturb them. “But Ella and I aren’t allowed in the kitchen again,” she said after a minute and David gave her a puzzled look. “I’ll tell you later,” she said, settling into his embrace as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she rested her head on his chest, closing her eyes.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, full fanfiction disclosure here, this story has gotten WAY bigger than I ever intended for it to be. And I feel like I've sort of lost track of it along the way. I'm planning to take a hiatus for a while to see if I can work it out, but the next chapter that I post (at some point this weekend) will probably be my last for a while. It ends on a fluffy high note, so stay tuned for that. Until then, here is a little teaser:
> 
> “I had a bad dream…” Ella whispered. “Charlie told me about the chat you had today … I had a dream that someone tried to do something bad to you again. And that they hurt you and Emilia.”


	13. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia felt her stomach drop. Such an important job. Had her job been that important? Looking back on it now, she knew at the time it was exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to help people and make a difference. But looking at her life now, suddenly so different, the days of her being the home secretary seemed so far away. Yes, her job had been important to her. And there were days where she missed it terribly. But there were also days she couldn’t imagine returning to that former life now.

“Julia, why do you have to hide?” Charlie asked, turning to look at her as they sat on a bench in the center of town. Britain’s former home secretary had on large sunglasses and a scarf tied around her head.

The question took Julia by surprise and she glanced around to see if anyone was nearby. It was a quiet day in the square, and there weren’t many people around. Something she was grateful for. 

“What do you say about getting some gelato, Charlie Bear?” she asked, and the boy grinned up at her. The nickname came easily from Julia’s lips, and she smiled thinking of how close she had gotten with the kids during their time in Tuscany with her and David. 

“Ice cream for lunch?!” Charlie cried out, jumping to his feet. “Race you there!”

Julia laughed. “I don’t think I’m much for racing these days, Charlie,” she reminded him and he laughed, too. “Oh, right…” he said bashfully. “I forgot.”

As she stood, Julia took a deep breath. It was a bad hip day. Breathing in and out slowly, she hoped a simple bubble bath later would help alleviate some of the ache. The pain radiated from her right side as she tried to stretch the muscle before following after Charlie who had already taken off toward the shop across the cobblestone street. 

When they had each gotten a cone of gelato, they returned to their bench, one of a few circling a small fountain. Julia had been thinking of the best way to answer Charlie’s question honestly. She knew he was a smart boy and could handle a lot, but the thought of telling an 9-year-old about two attempted assassinations of Britain’s home secretary seemed like a lot.

“Have you heard of the Home Secretary before, Charlie?” she asked slowly, taking a bite of her gelato. Charlie was thoughtful for a minute. 

“Yes. We learned about her one day in class,” he said eventually. “Her name started with an M, I think. But I can’t remember what it was.”

Julia smiled down at the little boy. “Montague,” she offered and Charlie nodded excitedly. “Yes, that was it! Montague… Julia Montague.”

She chuckled and Charlie’s eyes widened. “Wait…. That was you?!” He said in surprise, his eyes wide. Looking down at him, Julia couldn’t help but notice he had inherited his father’s eyes. Crystal blue and piercing, she felt a little unnerved. 

“Yes, that’s me,” she said after looking around, confirming they were still alone. 

“Blimey!” Charlie cried out and Julia couldn’t help but laugh at the boy’s enthusiasm as he continued to eat his ice cream cone. “But if you had such an important job, why are you here now?”

Julia felt her stomach drop.  _ Such an important job.  _ Had her job been that important? Looking back on it now, she knew at the time it was exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to help people and make a difference. But looking at her life now, suddenly so different, the days of her being the home secretary seemed so far away. Yes, her job had been important to her. And there were days where she missed it terribly. But there were also days she couldn’t imagine returning to that former life now. 

“Well Charlie,” she hesitated. “You see with my old job, I did some things a lot of people didn’t like... and some of those people wanted to hurt me. So I had to hide.”

“Hurt you?” Charlie’s eyes widened, his tone becoming defensive. “What?!” 

“Was it because of Daddy?” His voice had gotten small and Julia’s head whipped down, locking eyes with his as she removed her sunglasses. 

“No, Charlie. No! That wasn’t it at all. It was because of the things I had done... The decisions I had made.” 

She paused, choosing her words carefully. How did you explain to a nine year old that their dad had made you re-evaluate so many of the things you had believed in for so long? How do you tell a child that the circumstances around your attempted assassination and faked death made you see things a lot differently than you had before? Taking a deep breath, Julia tried to put her position in simple terms.

“At the time, I felt like they were the right things to do, but now….” She trailed off not wanting to admit to the mistakes that she knew David had blamed her for when they first met. For the position she had taken on so many issues she really had known so little about.

_ Doing the right thing and making the hard choices.  _ She was beginning to learn that phrase wasn’t as black and white as she once thought it was.

Charlie was quiet for a long time, taking bites of his ice cream. During their conversation, the treat had began to melt all over both their hands, causing quite a mess. 

“Well, I’m very glad they weren’t able to hurt you,” he finally said with a smile and Julia felt her heart swell. 

“Yes, I’m very glad, too,” she agreed. “Now, why don’t you run over and grab us some napkins before we lose all our ice cream?”

Charlie nodded, getting up and running across the square as Julia took a deep breath. “Yes, I am certainly glad they didn’t hurt us, little one.”

  
  


When they returned to the flat, Charlie ran to find Ella and to fill her in on everything he had learned from his day with Julia. Ella was just as surprised at the news. She remembered the day they met Julia for the first time and how she had looked so familiar. 

As Julia disappeared into the bathroom to take a bubble bath, Ella knew she had to act quickly to find the information she wanted. Finding David in the kitchen preparing dinner, she asked her Dad if she could look up something on the computer. Making an excuse about wanting to buy Julia a gift, she felt a slight bit guilty when David told her how proud he was of her. 

_ Well, it’s not a lie, _ she reasoned. She had been plotting with Rosita to plan something special as a surprise for Julia and Emilia.  _ Maybe she could find her something to do with that. _

David set her up on the outdated laptop in the living room and she thanked him as he returned to the kitchen. Once she was sure he was gone, she pulled up Google, typing in simply ‘Julia Montague, Home Secretary’ and hitting the enter key. 

The first result was from the London Evening Standard. The headline read “Killed in her Prime -- was Montague to be PM?” The next from The Times. “Second Assassination Attempt on Montague Successful.” 

Ella didn’t feel well. “Assassination?” The word was whispered and her stomach began to hurt.  _ Someone had tried to kill Julia on purpose. _

Looking at one more headline, Ella gasped. “Explosion at St. Matthews Claims Life of Home Secretary.”

Realizing she may have made a mistake in her search for answers, she quickly exited out of the window and went back to the dress shop website David had pulled up for her. As tears burned at her eyes, she began to scroll through the dresses, looking for something she thought Julia might like. But she couldn’t get the headlines out of her head.

_ What if someone tried to hurt Julia again? _

  
  
  


David bolted upright in bed as he heard a sudden noise in the night. He and Julia hadn’t been asleep for long as they sat up and talked about Emilia and how their lives were going to be changing soon. It was the first time the two had really gotten to be alone in the time since the kids came to visit and they relished in being able to talk without interruption. He had rubbed her back as Julia had admitted the truth about the cookie mishap the day before and hit David rather hard on the arm when he reminded her that cooking had never been her strong suit. When she told him about her conversation with Charlie, he had reassured her that she had done nothing wrong before kissing her forehead and falling asleep holding her. 

Listening closely, he wondered if he had been hearing things as the house was still. He was just getting ready to roll over and go back to sleep when he heard it again. It was Ella. 

Julia rolled over, her hand coming to rest on his arm, her eyes still mostly closed. 

“What was that?” she mumbled sleepily, staring up at David. 

“It sounded like Ella,” he said, crawling out of the bed. “I’m going to go check on her. Go back to sleep. I’ll be back soon.”

Pulling on a pair of pajama pants, he hurried from the room and headed down the hall. When he got to the spare bedroom where the kids were staying, he stopped in the doorway, peeking inside the room.

Charlie was cuddled up with his favorite stuffed bear, clearly having slept through any sort of commotion, while Ella sat up in bed, her hands covering her eyes. She was crying. David frowned. It had been a while since he was on nightmare duty. 

“El?” he said speaking softly, not wanting to wake Charlie. She looked up in surprise as he came to kneel next to her. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” 

“I, um…. I had a bad dream…” she stammered, wiping a tear from her cheek as it made its way down her face. David reached out, stroking her arm. 

“Do you want to tell me about it?” he asked her, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Ella was sniffling and David could tell there was something she wanted to say. 

“Ella?” he repeated, trying to encourage her to continue. 

“Daddy, could you… um… do you mind asking Julia to come?” she finally managed and David blinked a few times in surprise. He was torn at her request. On one hand, he knew that Ella was growing up. She didn’t always need her Daddy to fight the monsters that lived in her closet at night, but he felt a sense of relief knowing that she felt comfortable to talk about whatever it was with Julia. 

David smiled. “Yes, I’ll get her,” he told her reassuringly. Reaching out, he touched Ella’s face. She was growing into such a beautiful young lady right in front of his eyes. It made him sad to realize how much time he had missed with her while he was fighting overseas. Getting up from the bed, he leaned over, kissing her on the cheek. 

“I love you, Ella,” he said softly and the girl smiled up at him through her tears. “I love you, Daddy.”

Returning to the bedroom, he stopped in the doorway, staring at Julia as she slept. The moonlight was the only source of light in the room and he smiled as his gaze swept from her peaceful face to her full figure and swollen stomach. He couldn’t believe this was really where they were. Julia had been assigned as his principal, becoming his unexpected lover and the woman who made his days seem just a little brighter. And now she was the mother of his child. 

Making his way over to her side of the bed, he placed a hand on each side of her body. “Julia?” he whispered, leaning in close to her face. “Are you awake?” He placed a soft kiss on her lips, smirking as her eyes fluttered open in surprise. She looked up at him, blinking a few times. 

“I am now…” she said sleepily before pulling him into another kiss. David grinned against her lips. 

“As much as I would love to tell you that I woke you to make mad, passionate love to you,” he paused for effect, noticing that Julia had started running her fingers up and down his arms gently. “Your presence has been requested across the hall.”

Julia’s brow furrowed, unsure what he meant. 

“Ella had a bad dream… When I went to check on her, she asked for you.”

Her eyes widened in surprise and David stifled the urge to laugh at her when she managed a breathless “Really?” in response. Pulling herself up slowly into a sitting position, she grinned as she noticed David was still hovering over her body. Grinning, she kissed him again before he moved to his side of the bed. 

Getting to her feet had become a slower process and Julia found herself having to take a deep breath after standing, reaching out and resting her hand on the bed frame for support. 

“I’ll be back in a few minutes with a report,” she said, making a tiny salute motion. David couldn’t help but laugh as he watched her go. 

 

 

Appearing in the doorway, Julia smiled as Ella looked up shyly. She was still sniffling as Julia entered the room, going to her bedside. 

“What’s wrong, Ella?” she asked softly, not wanting to wake Charlie who was snoring lightly next to his sister. 

“I had a bad dream…” Ella whispered. “Charlie told me about the chat you had today … about what you used to do and why you’re hiding,” she admitted. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Julia reached for her hand reassuringly, encouraging her to continue.

“I just … I had a dream that someone tried to do something bad to you again. And that they hurt you and Emilia,” as she said it, the tears started again and Julia frowned, feeling guilty.

“Oh, Ella,” she said breathlessly, feeling her heart break for how upset the girl was. “I’m fine, sweetheart. Emilia and I are both fine. Why don’t we snuggle up for a bit and see if you can’t fall back asleep?” she suggested and Ella nodded, scooting over in the bed to make room for Julia. 

Moving to sit next to the girl, Julia leaned against the headboard, wrapping an arm around Ella who leaned her head on her chest wordlessly. 

All of the commotion made Charlie stir, turning over to look at who had woken him up. Seeing Julia, his face relaxed. 

“What are you doing in here?” he asked, blinking sleepily. Julia chuckled at his obvious confusion as he pulled his teddy closer to him. 

“We’re all going back to sleep,” Julia said firmly and Ella giggled. Watching the two of them for a minute, Charlie crawled over Ella and then Julia’s legs so he was on the other side of them and they all scooted over to rearrange themselves. 

She ruffled Charlie’s hair with a smile.  _ Oh, how she loved these kids.  _ Leaning over, she kissed each of them on the crown of their heads before leaning back into the headrest. Charlie snuggled next to her, his hand coming to tangle in hers and Ella’s fingers began to trace a pattern on Julia’s stomach, giggling as she felt movement beneath her hand. Julia smiled proudly at her. Ella would make such a good sister for Emilia. 

After a few minutes, she noticed that the room was beginning to grow quiet. Charlie’s deep breathing picked up again and Ella’s hand stilled on her stomach. Julia glanced around, taking in her situation. Originally planning to go back to bed after Ella and Charlie had fallen asleep again, she guessed she was staying in for the night. She had only just closed her eyes when Ella’s voice whispered, “Hey, Jules?” 

Julia opened her eyes again, looking down at the girl. “Yeah, El?” 

“You’re going to make a great mum,” she said softly. Julia was overwhelmed as she looked down into the girl’s eyes, tears beginning to well up as she tried blinking them away. Not able to say anything, she squeezed Ella closer to her, leaning her head against the girl’s with a happy sigh.

David had panicked when he rolled over the next morning and Julia wasn’t there beside him, but as he stood at the door watching the three of them sleep together in the children’s bed, he suddenly felt sure about everything. This is where he wanted to be for the rest of his life. 

Grabbing his phone from the bedroom, he returned to the doorway, snapping a picture of the three of them sleeping peacefully as the early morning sunlight streamed in through the open window. Tiptoeing over to the bed so he didn’t disturb them, he scooted in next to Ella.

Julia’s eyes opened slowly, green meeting blue as she turned her body slightly to look at him. Her motions were limited as she made sure the children were still asleep. She grinned, reaching for David’s hand.

“Thank you,” her words were mouthed with no sound, not wanting to break the silence of the room. Raising her hand in his, he placed a soft kiss on her knuckles before closing his eyes and drifting back to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be (hopefully) continued at some point in the future. Thank you for all of your kind words and comments on this monster of fluff. xo.


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